I need to stop thinking about him. It's making me crazy.

Last night I got smashed.

It felt good.

Then I puked and passed out. Not fun, but it sure felt better then doing stuff or thinking.

My head hurts.

Not sure if it's the booze or all that goddam thinking.
But I'll live.

Unfortunately.

I should have never opened myself up. I was right when I decided that that would only lead to me being hurt. So why did I think that I should waver from my no relationship rule? Why did I think that something would be different? I think that I should just go smash a bottle and gouge my heart out. That might hurt less. The world should just wait ( Read more... )

I actually get to see my brother in a week or so. I'm taking him to a movie and dinner and whatnot. As long as nothing screws up, I GET TO SEE RYAN. I'm so estatic. He's really all I care about. and I have wanted to see him for so long ( Read more... )

K's Choice ---> Not An Addict ( Read more... )

Hmm our hash connectionfor tonight has apparently not come through. That blows. Oh well. I'll probably just stay sober tonight, go to Joey's as already planned, whatever. Yup. I live an exciting life. What I really need is for something different to happen...
like spontanious combustions...
or some acid...
I dunno...
something exciting.

Soooooooooo I'm quite drunk, and just thought I would take the time to bitch. Being sober is completely over rated. Donnie Darko roxs my provebial sox, since I'm barefoot. I don't like ppl. who have girlfriends flirting. I don't think thats cool if I feel quilty because their relationship is supposed to be commited yet I watch them CLEARLY flirt. ( Read more... )

I really, really hate being fucked in the head. It's starting to bother me how messed up my thinking is. It's like...I know what my heart wants. I know what my head wants. And then I go and completely refuse to listen to either of them. And then I wind up fucking myself over ( Read more... )

Things have been going pretty crazy lately..andI have been way to goddam lazy to update ( Read more... )

First of all, why the fuck do people seem to think that just because I have a hard time caring about things that nothing matters to me?
Everything matter.
I just can't care because when I do care it hurts.
And I fucking won't deal with that.
Fuck that.

Drugs are both fun and fucked. Talked to Joey...man what an insane trip he had man ( Read more... )