Final Fantasy 7 fic

[crazyamoeba]

Title: Don’t hold me, I’m cold.

Rating: I don’t really know, PG - 13? Perhaps a little higher.

Genre: Angst. Yaoi.

Pairing: Zack/Cloud, Zack/Sephiroth

Summary: Zack goes out, and when he returns, Cloud suddenly feels so very cold.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or anything Final Fantasy 7.

AN: This is very angsty, and sort of

Comments

[sharkcowsheep]

Without a little more lead-up, it seems like Cloud's having a massive overreaction to a straightforward and even thoughtful note. If he's that neurotic and needy, it needs to be established a little better beforehand.

"More", as in "I love someone else more", looks like it actually is being said aloud. Except that the next sentence says that it isn't, and so it makes Zack's lack of denial afterwards less significant. Of course he can't deny it--he can't hear it. That's a very important scene, and having to stop and second-guess things like that blunts the emotional impact of it. Maybe putting 'more' in italics instead would help?

[gc_anthem_fan]

Except for the little mistakes
That broke my heart
Damn Sephy and his oh-so sexy self xD

[ffvii_4_ever]

*Tears running down face* It was really good, and I kinda cried there, just a bit. Great job.