this morning i woke up in terrible pain. there was an emptyness inside of me, a numbness. i could tell that the day was going to be hurtful. i cried and cried and cried. i wanted this pain to go away. But it did not. i called my love to tell him i knew things were getting worse, but he could not talk with me. this fucking shit is rediculous. ( Read more... )

happy mothers day to all. caretakers too. i sent a card to jakes mom in the mail. this must be a hard mothers day for her. she is in my heart and prayers.

just remember, stay hidden ( Read more... )

Niether of my bitches were in skool today. damn hoes.

i cryed again today. if i hold it back it all gets worse and worse so i had to let it out but only when marshay and ali were around in case they would laugh or somethin. Fred is all i need. The long letter i wrote about him, i want to put in here i think is a little to personal, but it explains how he is my "home ( Read more... )

ask fred if he cares that people doubt him. or if my firends make fun of him. he doesn't. he's all i need.

been out sick for 3 days, and nobodys botherd to call me to see if i am dead or not. except ryan. everybody is bull dookie. i stink and i need a shower. amaya is destoying the telivision, turning it on...and off. on...and off. on....and off. DAMMIT KID WOULD YOU STOPPIT?!?! WHERE IS UR MOTHER?! we'll never know. lol. just kidding. i think.

at home sick with a 100 degree fever, my head feels like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag, i hate to miss school, i hate make up work.

So i was crying tonight because i can't get enough of the good things in my life. I want Fred to dothe best he can and give it all he's got, but then i get so selfish...and ANGRY!!! Then i hear my default ring and i'm like oh okay it must be my sister or it must be a wrong number cuz who the hell calls me. but its Ali and i worry and think i hope ( Read more... )