Original Fic: The Long Walk

[crazylixi]

Title: The Long Walk
Fandom: Original Fiction
Rating: PG
Word Count: 442
Warning: Angst, Slash
Author's Notes: This is a combination of me reading and watching way too much angsty stuff after snuggling with my boyfriend for an hour.
Feedback: Is very much appreciated. I also have a firm love of concrit, so any of that is welcome.

"John?" he asks, and

Comments

[clarediva]

This was very moving, and describes a familiar situation to many of us, I'm sure. The most impressive parts for me were where they *didn't* speak - because in my opinion, people *don't*! *lol* - but their body language and the atmosphere expressed the disappointment and frustration between them.

Thanks for the read!
^_^

[crazylixi]

Yes, silences often say more than words do. And remembering all the times I've been in relationships, the most emotional times were just being together, or being apart, not necessarily anything we did or what we talked about. Thank you for the review. I'm glad you liked it.

[kate_burgess]

This is a very strong moment, angsty. I liked it. There's clearly so much history there and I liked that it's sensed, but you didn't need to dump all that info onto the reader. Nice work, there. ^_

[crazylixi]

Thanks for the correction. I've never been that great with remembering the rules for quotations. They always get mixed up in my head.

I'll go back and edit that, and it should be fixed later tonight.

I'm glad you liked the story, and yes, there is a history between the two of them. I might write more about Ollie and John some time in the future, but I'll have to see where my muse takes me.

[originalpuck]

Wow, I'm a bit belated of a commentor, but I really enjoyed the electricity in this piece. Readers were able to feel the painful silence along with the characters, and the compulsory silence-filling phrases.

Poignant.