(no subject)
Lucy John night: Sat on a sofa with indi all night chatting shit then I rolled all over her in the morning
“im going to kill myself….im going to shave my head”
“what if I said….id shave my head”
sasha being Indian “45…35”
When malini and tafara tried to see if they could jump over the tennis net in tooting common and they started running and tafara stopped because it was obvious they wernt going to make it but malini went for it and almost got over but her foot touched the net and she fell flat on her face
When me and Emily Collins were throwing guys hat around and Emily through it in the road and a bus ran over it
When we where running for the bus and asha was running next to me and suddenly she just fell flat and ended up with her bag emptied over the street and it on her head and her shoes like a mile away
Playing blib blob in sayers croft and everyone was wearing those yellow anoraks
Valentines day two years ago in pizza hut on the exes table (me,sonny,jonathan and tafara) and sonny cussed me so I got a slice of pizza and smashed it into his face and he just looked so pissed off with tomato dripping off his face
At my house when asha had bread in her hair and malini was trying to tell us but she couldn’t get it out because she was laughing so much
“she had brrrrr….she had brrr…she had bread in her haaa”
at my house when we made that scanky drink and said matthew had to drink it and when he turned around sam spat in it and he drank it
In peak district when they called out the rooms
“room 1-malini,sophie,Lauren and Freddie”
“room 2- sasha, ella and becky”
“room 3- daisy,tafara…..sarah and lisa”
*daisys in tears of laughter*
“nah im complaining,no way am I going in that room”
when me,maya,Jessica and clare were having dinner at clares and we were all silent and then maya went “I just got an image of clara standing in a burnt wood”
in the cinema when me and guy had a contest to see how many sour skittles we could eat and he spat them all over the floor
On the French trip when we asked for mayonnaise and they bought us salt and then we asked again and it was some fucked up jelly mayonnaise
When me and guy were playing countdown and I had to ask my mum if my 7 letter word was right because I cant spell
On southbank on the dodgems when becky fell off her seat and was lying in the bottom of the car so I let go of the wheel to help her up and we span round and round
In the cinema when sam Andrews got his legs stuck under the seat so had sat on the floor for the whole film but he was really embarresed so me, maya, indi and laurie sat with him
In mcds when there was a random sock on the floor and the cleaner asked if it was our and malini started blaming guy
“guy pick up your sock that’s really scanky”
“its not mine”
“why are you lying?! Just pick it up”
“shut up its not mine”
then on the way out
“guy say thankyou to the cleaner for clearing up your sock”
last valentines running from the police
“if I take my shoes off I can run faster”
and asha thought the police man was jonathan and she hugged him
“do I look like a jonathan to you?”
at jonathans in the Chinese restaurant when me and sonny were throwing noodles at eachother and one landed in malinis hair
southbank in macds toilets when the baby changing thing fell on Emily and when everyone was putting lipgloss on and the crazy Nigerian man said “you put it on me,I have a little bit”
in year 7 when we found porn in lauries bag and we wrote “porno” and “evil” in it then threw it in the church
joes diary “who I fancy..blank”
In sayers croft when we walked through some long grass area and something crawled up tafaras leg and then the next day we looked on the map and it said “field mice area”
When me,sam,malini,Emily and sasha stayed at clares and me and clare put spray cream all over us and then squirted it at sam and malini while they were pulling and so sam got loads of jam and threw it at clare but she ducked just in time and it slid down the wall
At my house
“ella you always cuss people”
“Emily you’re a bitch”
*ignores me*
“malini you’re a slut”
*ignores me*
“asha you’re a hoe”
”I DON’T CARE!”
In sayers croft with the bouncy bush where you pushed people in it and it rebounded them but we pushed tafara in it and she just kept on falling
Playing blib blob in peak district when me and daisy sneaked into the kitchens and malini was sick
When Jessica had to do assembly and she tripped over the microphone wire infront of everyone
At nsf when I was lying on the floor with asha and my foot was stuck in the floor
When we were walking home and malini was like about the girl infront of us
“oh look at that girl walking like shes a proper model”
and just then she tripped over her shoe and instead of covering up her laughter malini went haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahhahahaahahhaaa
me, sasha and Emily at the bus stop and Emily was doing her crazy laughing voice and sasha was laughing so much she had to crouch on the floor and she sat on some mans foot
in year 7 when they told us our headteacher had died and I could not for the life of me stop laughing,was so bad
at the first common when everyone was running and sonny was next to me and tafara going “someones getting beaten up!!! Wooowww”
coming back from liecester square having a spliff with Jessica and Emily and she started running shouting “if you shake your head its crazy” and then fell flat on her face
and I walked into his house and shouted ive got fucking munchies and his dad was there so Jessica went “really,the mint flavour?”
at beckys house when her sister showed us her dance
at the common when sam Abrahams beat up izzy and held her down for about half an hour and she couldn’t breath
at the common when sonny wanted to play pile up so he ran and fell over and we run up to him and then suddenly stopped because no one wanted to go first
on the coach back from kew and asha was holding her water bottle and I pulled her pants up which made her squeeze the bottle and it squirted all in tafaras face and then me and maya hid her jumper and she got in a fight with Olivia over it
when me,sam,malini,sasha and Emily stayed at clares and sasha did something…. And sam sat up and was like WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
in English when izzy got in a fight with Bianca and went “god just cos you get jiggy in churches”
when Emily ran into the road and almost got ran over and then malini walked into the road going “for god sakes Emily,look where your going” and then she almost got run over and asha was like maaaaaaaaalllllliiiiiiiiinnnnnniiiiiii
the history supply with the irish lisp woman and everytime she spoke and,maya,Freddie and Lauren would crack up
the crazy NSF irish man
“the joe science lesson” which wasn’t actually very funny for me but was for other people obviously,and no one even comforted me except maya
when tafara thought we were getting shot at school
BANG
*ducks on the floor and runs around*
“ella! Were getting shot?!?! What is it?!”
Emily and sasha showing everyone how everyone dances
When we watched bring it on 2, the neekiest film of my life
When sophie desmond cussed for the first time and I couldn’t even cuss her back because I was so proud
When sam Abrahams went in the public loo and when he finished the door opened but we held it closed and the toilet thought he had left so it sprayed him with disinfectant and all we could hear from outside was him screaming
The old man in wimbledon
“hes soooo old!”
“excuse me,hes my granddad”-emily
in art at lunch when saara called tafara a scrape and tafara squirted water in her face which proceeded in us having a massive water fight
when we all went to southbank and ran around crazy for about half an hour
when me,becky,Emily and sasha were on the bus and there was some maaaadd person who was like “mmmmhhhhGRRAAHHHmmmm” and becky was whispering down the phone “theres a crazy person”
in maths when I was in a really bad mood so Isobel danced round the room and when miss turned around,she twirled
watching neighbours
“libby has had that spot on her head forever,its like an injection”
*half an hour later*
“look yeh just cos she had an injection when she was a little girl”-sasha
Emily and sasha in my kitchen
When we watched family guy at emilys
“no my father was a tree”
*laughing so much*
*sophie fake laughing*
“sophie you don’t get it do you”
“hahaaa…no not really”
old history lessons with miss mahrotra “this is the register..”
malinis Indian woman in soho
when me,Hannah and daisy stayed at sophie farrens and I was so lean and pissed I could not for the life of me stand up
in Tuscany when everyone got drunk by the pool and we sang every song in the world and me and maya did bbc
in drama when daisy went to sit down and maya pulled her chair out and she fell on her arse and then sat in a puddle
izzys crazy blink, nuff said
the raggie raggie art lesson
at my house when everytime sasha tried to speak Emily would burp
“Emily just get out! Just out of the house right now!”
when emilys brother ate noodles but they were too hot and me and asha had to hold our laughter in
the bee in the cafeteria and sasha was under emilys skirt and everyone was screaming
when sasha fell off her seat on the bus
sasha on my kitchen floor when she couldn’t get up because she was laughing so much
when we had assembly for that teacher that died and those girls sang sooo badly
when sasha put the mint box in malinis hair and she wore it all the way home and proper flicked it around infront of the buff boy and she never noticed
liecester square when becky and joe were sitting in the café place and everyone else was in burger king and I was standing in the doorway smoking and this Nigerian man started talking to himself
in dance when maya dropped me on my back,hurt quite a lot actually
filming in my kitchen malini talking about sam
“my god it was gigantic!! I was choking and everything!”
brighton
“oh you love it”
the tuna sandwich blaaaahhh
tin tins house
“ahahaaa your such a granddad”
“do have a hat I can borrow joe?”
“no sorry”
funniest train ride of my life
the story Emily told us about how she once went into her parents room in the middle of the night and started doing egyption dancing and her parents where like “go away Emily”
at my house eating jelly when I was drinking and asha put a massive bit of jelly in her mouth and then spat it out whole onto the table and I had to run out of the room
“are you a protestant?”
“no a Christian”-Jessica
“are you gay? Does your mum know your gay? I think you should tell her…..your lying”-sasha
joes story about sophie farren and the biscuits
“I mean I know shes fat but she actually ate them all, the whole packet”
two summers ago when me,jake,jonathan,lily and clara had a water fight and they all poured buckets of ice water on my head
mine and jessicas convasation on the roof of sophies summer house
TRAAAIIINN
Malinis rap “eeeeveryday we go to school back and forth all the while..”
“hob”-joe
me being dumb in soho
“are we going to china? I mean Chinese town,im mean china town place eat”
“what are you saying ella?”
clares house
when sonny and guy were fighting and as a joke I was shouting “the chair the chair!” and sonny got the wooden chair and wacked it round guys head
when we were trying to sleep and sonny sat up and shouted to Jessica and guy “I can hear the fucking saliva moving round your mouths shut the fuck up”
when sonny got into sashas bed and she was like urrrrgghhh and roled over
“there was a girl called Emily
who had a man called chris
they went around together but he said she stank of piss
so she slapped him in the head
and he pulled her into his van
he wanted to sex her up
but she said “im really a man!””-best story I ever wrote
“im gonna buy that tomorrow”
“how you gonna do that? You will have to scrounge around your house for like two weeks”
“that’s quite a good cuss ella”
“yeh well….shuttup”
“that’s not a very good come back Emily” -malini
sashas alarm clock