Just something that I have to say...
I know I'm probably going to get some backlash for this and I know I'm a coward for not saying this in person. But, and you know who you are or at least I'd hope that you all do, I don't feel comfortable being around you that much anymore.
And it's such an odd feeling because as long as I keep my mouth shut and not "try" to speak my opinion everything goes great and I have a great time because you are all freaking hysterical. (and I say try because it's 99.999% impossible to get any words out because of someone else interupting) I find that everytime we hang out I leave angry, upset, or hurt by being ignored, interupted or someone saying something hurtful (knowing that they are saying it or not).
I'm told that I'm rude, disrespectful and who knows what else. And that might be true at times but the only times that those parts of me show is when I'm running out of pacience or I'm tired of being "nice".
It's such a sad feeling knowing that in the end, I can't get along with my boyfriends friends, MY friends. I don't want it to be like that but I'm doing my part as best as I can to be as polite, nice, kind-hearted, even-tempered and open minded. I can't do that for all of you. And I'm afraid that none of you will care that I feel this way and you'll just turn around and say "sounds like a personal problem to me". I don't want that responce and I hope that I don't get it but I'm afraid that's what will happen.
I can't talk about this to your faces. I'm a coward and it was hard enough trying to talk to Will about it last night. I'm sorry if I've upset any of you, pissed you off or been rude to you. I'm a very passionate and emotional person. I have my strong opinions just like you. I just try to be open to yours as well as staying true to my own. And I try my best to remember that different words have different meanings to each of us.
So next time we see eachother (whenever that may be) you can completely forget these words or you can choose to try and play your part in making the "group" a little more harmonious. And that goes with everyone. You might not think anything is wrong, but there is ALWAYS room for politness and humility amongst friends.
I do love you guys. I really do. Take care.
And it's such an odd feeling because as long as I keep my mouth shut and not "try" to speak my opinion everything goes great and I have a great time because you are all freaking hysterical. (and I say try because it's 99.999% impossible to get any words out because of someone else interupting) I find that everytime we hang out I leave angry, upset, or hurt by being ignored, interupted or someone saying something hurtful (knowing that they are saying it or not).
I'm told that I'm rude, disrespectful and who knows what else. And that might be true at times but the only times that those parts of me show is when I'm running out of pacience or I'm tired of being "nice".
It's such a sad feeling knowing that in the end, I can't get along with my boyfriends friends, MY friends. I don't want it to be like that but I'm doing my part as best as I can to be as polite, nice, kind-hearted, even-tempered and open minded. I can't do that for all of you. And I'm afraid that none of you will care that I feel this way and you'll just turn around and say "sounds like a personal problem to me". I don't want that responce and I hope that I don't get it but I'm afraid that's what will happen.
I can't talk about this to your faces. I'm a coward and it was hard enough trying to talk to Will about it last night. I'm sorry if I've upset any of you, pissed you off or been rude to you. I'm a very passionate and emotional person. I have my strong opinions just like you. I just try to be open to yours as well as staying true to my own. And I try my best to remember that different words have different meanings to each of us.
So next time we see eachother (whenever that may be) you can completely forget these words or you can choose to try and play your part in making the "group" a little more harmonious. And that goes with everyone. You might not think anything is wrong, but there is ALWAYS room for politness and humility amongst friends.
I do love you guys. I really do. Take care.