camwhoring because I can...and guy issues
yeah yeah yeah...
been two weeks I came back from London, haven't posted yet. I let time pass by so quickly and Haven't finished resizing/edit the pictures. I need then to upload onto both LJ/Picasa and Facebook for my friends there...
What to tell you...
Hm just a heads up then; I'm still on diet, I have like 2-3 months still, since my goal is 15 to 20 kilos, I've lost 7 already before the holidays, in London I ate donuts and Burger King, and in Orange I ate panini-nutella (devilish) but I started again the diet and don't wanna weigh myself.
I mean, since I screwed up so much in London with greasy and sweety food, I'm afraid to know my actual weight, and since I don't need to weigh myself to be motivated since I know it works, I'll try and push further the day I step on the weigh-scale.
In any case, go on and smack/kill me! I'm such a whore I flirt with a collegue at work! Okay when I'm saying "whore", I don't mean that if your flirt with someone you are! And saying it's not my usual genre to do it doesn't mean it's whoring for real, like literally. I'm just not the genre to be open and feminine and daring.
But since I started this diet, yes, confidence has gained me a little. Ju~st a little though.
There's this guy, he's younger by 4 years, and since I started working there I saw that he was looking at me many times. And since I'm a paranoid chick, and always have low self-esteem, I thought he didn't like me and all I can think of is always "my god I'm too fat and not feminine enough people are disgusted by me I should be invisible!".
But lately, I guess it's been like 2 months we've been exchanging words and maybe some dialogues, ah but the ice was broken only when our boss came to us cause we made both the same mistake LOL right?!
That's when he talked to me about it cause it was his first time (not me for me XP) and blah blah and since I'm openly talking about my diet, and he's a healthy food addict, and his friend previously lsot weight the same way I am, we sorta click.
Everytime I bring home-made diet food, he asks what it is and we're smiling and stuff.
Yesternight, a female collegue and I were talking about marriage and I was telling her I didn't want to get married later and then he heard and said "you don't wanna get married?!" and I said "no"; he added "oh really? because I wanted to propose to you!"
Okay that was so cliche and LOL but I know for a fact I always half think what comes out of my mouth. So maybe he's a little interested but I'm so not confident I can only think he's joking because I am too. That's why I replied "ha ha ha, I guess he wants to marry me so that I feed him!", to that he replied "yeah!"......even for jokes....nah, I don't care that much...
But today, I dressed like this (beware, camwhoring) bububu and after I arrived he was "wow today you topped it with the dress!" , can't really translate what he exactly said, the way he said "péter la robe" péter=break here and well, you see the dress you'll understand. Sure, for work, wearing this is so-so, but many times girls there dressed nice for an evening out or just because they wanted to, I never do for obvious reasons but since I bought it in London and didn't know when to wear it, and if I would one day, I thought WTH!
I only got compliments and me being flattered is being flustered!
I sat beside a younnnnnng guy who's fine to me and that one was staring at me many times, I could see his glance at the corner of my eye. It was weird, since I don't get these looks usually, only dirty looks from old men. The first guy I was talking about though, he stared at me when I was talking closely to the other one; I admit I did it on purpose, *whorish*.
On a break, 1st guy joined me and apparead behind me as to "scare" me but didn't, and I asked him to repeat what he told me when I arrived, he then added "yeah, you gor me fired up" as he was leaving to go back to work. Okay, even for jokes, hmm I'm a noob here, I don't know, I can't know if half of it is true. Damn it! Shame on me I'm 30!!!!
When the younger guy left, helike pinched my shoulder, you know, in a touchy feely "bye"? Odd...
So here was my day and me "flirting".
At this place, it's like, even if people have other halves, they would still flirt as long as there's no promises.
Oh well, I'll leave it at that, dear diary @ LJ, thanks for listening to a 30 year old noob in relationship...
...and I'm late again to go to bed...long day tomorrow, as usual...5hours of sleep ahead! /headdesk
been two weeks I came back from London, haven't posted yet. I let time pass by so quickly and Haven't finished resizing/edit the pictures. I need then to upload onto both LJ/Picasa and Facebook for my friends there...
What to tell you...
Hm just a heads up then; I'm still on diet, I have like 2-3 months still, since my goal is 15 to 20 kilos, I've lost 7 already before the holidays, in London I ate donuts and Burger King, and in Orange I ate panini-nutella (devilish) but I started again the diet and don't wanna weigh myself.
I mean, since I screwed up so much in London with greasy and sweety food, I'm afraid to know my actual weight, and since I don't need to weigh myself to be motivated since I know it works, I'll try and push further the day I step on the weigh-scale.
In any case, go on and smack/kill me! I'm such a whore I flirt with a collegue at work! Okay when I'm saying "whore", I don't mean that if your flirt with someone you are! And saying it's not my usual genre to do it doesn't mean it's whoring for real, like literally. I'm just not the genre to be open and feminine and daring.
But since I started this diet, yes, confidence has gained me a little. Ju~st a little though.
There's this guy, he's younger by 4 years, and since I started working there I saw that he was looking at me many times. And since I'm a paranoid chick, and always have low self-esteem, I thought he didn't like me and all I can think of is always "my god I'm too fat and not feminine enough people are disgusted by me I should be invisible!".
But lately, I guess it's been like 2 months we've been exchanging words and maybe some dialogues, ah but the ice was broken only when our boss came to us cause we made both the same mistake LOL right?!
That's when he talked to me about it cause it was his first time (not me for me XP) and blah blah and since I'm openly talking about my diet, and he's a healthy food addict, and his friend previously lsot weight the same way I am, we sorta click.
Everytime I bring home-made diet food, he asks what it is and we're smiling and stuff.
Yesternight, a female collegue and I were talking about marriage and I was telling her I didn't want to get married later and then he heard and said "you don't wanna get married?!" and I said "no"; he added "oh really? because I wanted to propose to you!"
Okay that was so cliche and LOL but I know for a fact I always half think what comes out of my mouth. So maybe he's a little interested but I'm so not confident I can only think he's joking because I am too. That's why I replied "ha ha ha, I guess he wants to marry me so that I feed him!", to that he replied "yeah!"......even for jokes....nah, I don't care that much...
But today, I dressed like this (beware, camwhoring) bububu and after I arrived he was "wow today you topped it with the dress!" , can't really translate what he exactly said, the way he said "péter la robe" péter=break here and well, you see the dress you'll understand. Sure, for work, wearing this is so-so, but many times girls there dressed nice for an evening out or just because they wanted to, I never do for obvious reasons but since I bought it in London and didn't know when to wear it, and if I would one day, I thought WTH!
I only got compliments and me being flattered is being flustered!
I sat beside a younnnnnng guy who's fine to me and that one was staring at me many times, I could see his glance at the corner of my eye. It was weird, since I don't get these looks usually, only dirty looks from old men. The first guy I was talking about though, he stared at me when I was talking closely to the other one; I admit I did it on purpose, *whorish*.
On a break, 1st guy joined me and apparead behind me as to "scare" me but didn't, and I asked him to repeat what he told me when I arrived, he then added "yeah, you gor me fired up" as he was leaving to go back to work. Okay, even for jokes, hmm I'm a noob here, I don't know, I can't know if half of it is true. Damn it! Shame on me I'm 30!!!!
When the younger guy left, helike pinched my shoulder, you know, in a touchy feely "bye"? Odd...
So here was my day and me "flirting".
At this place, it's like, even if people have other halves, they would still flirt as long as there's no promises.
Oh well, I'll leave it at that, dear diary @ LJ, thanks for listening to a 30 year old noob in relationship...
...and I'm late again to go to bed...long day tomorrow, as usual...5hours of sleep ahead! /headdesk