} 041 - [TEXT] - Private to Sarah Harding

[creatingalegacy]

I still don't regret any of the murders I've committed, you know. Except for Adam's...and I know that's the only way I could have saved him from a slow and painful death. I did it for him, because he was kind to me, even though I shouldn't have broken John's rules. But fuck, you know that already.

[Holy shit, she's finally willing to talk about

Comments

[whattheytellyou]

It isn't a matter of failing John. You have a conscience, Amanda, and deep down, regardless of what John told you, you know what you were doing was not only wrong, but it would never heal you.

You yourself even told him to fix you, in your final moments.

You knew it wasn't making anything better.

[creatingalegacy]

John was right! He was fucking right, Sarah, or he wouldn't have gotten me to kick my addiction when nothing else worked!

I told him to fix me because I'd fucked up, somewhere along the way. I became a murderer when I was supposed to spread John's message. If it was about my conscience I wouldn't have started killing people! Think about that!

[whattheytellyou]

I know you think you need to hold on to John and the things he taught you, but you can't. You're stuck, Amanda, and you need to let go of him to move forward.

I'm certain, without John Kramer, you would have kicked your addiction. Do you know how I know?

Because I saw you do it. All on your own, cold turkey, without him or anyone else.

[creatingalegacy]

He loved me! He took me in and treated me as a daughter, and I love him! I always will. You can't take that from me. No one can!

[She can't get away from the fact that she knows he was wrong, though. The flood slapped her across the face with that knowledge.]

How did I kick my addiction before my test, Sarah? I killed an innocent, unborn child because all I cared about was my next hit! Doing it here doesn't mean anything, because I wouldn't have had that strength if John hadn't given it to me!