Comments | creed2386: If you could find some way to go back and help her, would you?

creed2386

If you could find some way to go back and help her, would you?

Jul 28, 2005 00:52

You go out bowling with some co-workers, a Wednesday tradition of sorts. One of your friends brings some friends, one of whom happens to be a rather cute blonde. You strike up conversation and find yourself attracted to her. She smokes, but you can get past that, you're not perfect either. A few hours later, you find yourself asking for her ( Read more... )

Comments 15

saturnine1979 July 28 2005, 06:19:52 UTC

it's not worth it.

i'm not saying a girl with a kid should be an instant k.o. to any possibility of a relationship (meaningful or otherwise), but it is a large investment, and you obviously don't sound ready for that.

if you're being honest with yourself, and you can't see yourself doing it, then don't do it. and be honest with her, too.

creed2386 July 28 2005, 06:30:57 UTC

You can't even make a small investment of your time?

saturnine1979 July 28 2005, 06:35:38 UTC

i'm not saying it's impossible, but from your post i just got the feeling that your doubts were outweighing any possible excitement you had about the date.

eventually it's all up to you, and you just have to decide for yourself if it's worth it or not. don't get involved because you feel obligated.

creed2386 July 28 2005, 07:31:54 UTC

The excitement wasn't portrayed too well in the situation. You are excited to get to take her to dinner, so excited that you were nervous askin her in the first place.

miranda_comma_r July 28 2005, 06:25:31 UTC

as the former small daughter of a single, dating woman myself..ill be honest. kids do get attatched...if they like you, they'll wonder when the next time they see you is.

so in that sense its not worth it.

but..this story is also not very plausible bc generally single mothers are much more "let ME get to know you first" before letting a guy meet their kids.

creed2386 July 28 2005, 06:35:01 UTC

Never thought about the kid getting attached

miranda_comma_r July 28 2005, 06:38:55 UTC

you've never had that perception of the situation though

musikdork228 July 28 2005, 18:12:06 UTC

i really dont think that's too much of an issue. my mom and dad dated all through my childhood. and you just never really think about stuff like that.

you're like, "hey, is chuck gonna be around anymore?" and mom's like, "no." and you're like, "ok." and then you go back to shitting yourself and watching sesame street.

Thread 5

musikdork228 July 28 2005, 18:10:54 UTC

i think the biggest problem is that the girl (i'm assuming) lives in memphis. you're not gonna see this girl once you go off to school. and generall, people with kids just arent looking to go short-term.

aside from that, i dont think there's anything wrong with a girl having a kid. i've almost dated one of my friends several times who has a five-year-old, and the kid thing was NEVER an issue for me.

creed2386 July 29 2005, 06:10:49 UTC

Finally a new spin on this situation. The kid thing, while a shocker, is something I don't know is that big a deal. And you're right, I'm not sure that a single mother would be looking for anything short term. Can you judge a person based on their past transgressions? Like, suppose the girl used to be big in to drugs but quit a few months before she got pregnant? Where do you draw the line? Is it possible to get so caught up in the past that it closes your mind to something with potential for greatness?

musikdork228 July 29 2005, 17:45:33 UTC

that's tricky.

of course you shouldnt judge, but it's hard not to.

i donno, i've been into some girls who did some fucked up shit in their past. the most important thing is, the past is the past. i'm done some pretty ridiculous stuff in my life, too, that i wouldnt want people knowing about.

creed2386 July 29 2005, 22:30:22 UTC

Is it a positive that she was open about all of it on the front end?

Thread 6