Invitation II

[creekstersheart]

I have expanded on the piece.  Let me know what you think.

Jenn

Invitation

I will never go back to that place.
No, to be perfectly honest, I
Don’t enjoy the feeling of
My skin peeling up away from my face.
Yes, that’s how it feels when I’m there,
Like my soul has to fight its way out of the body trapping it here.
It would do anything to find its way to

Comments

[paitchness]

You once again have added dimension and brought forth the deep acid scaring of feelings that your character could no longer contain. If I had a hat I would take it off to you!!!!!!

[adarascarlet]

Amazing. Definitely one of your best.

[anonymous]

Beautiful.

-A Mourning Star

[anonymous]

The second is better, I'd delete the title, and let the story tell itself with the words.

-failte27

[anonymous]

That's what I'm talking about! So much better. It put a fish hook in my eyeball and kept pulling at it through the entire piece. I feel like there is more to be expounded. I feel like it should be twice the length. Still, so much more clarity. I don't want to know the story if I can't know the why of it. This contains many whys. I'd like more. But that's up to you. I'm very proud of you for doing this. I know it must not have been easy. Good girl!!!!!