"My God! It's like there's an orgy in my mouth!"

-Stewie's thoughts on Fig Newtons

"My God! This better than sex!"

-Stewie's thoughts on pancakes

Adult Swim premiered Seth Green's "Robot Chicken" tonight. It blew... hard. The only funny gags were Tarzan knocking the monkey into some trees and the little kid getting body checked against a ( Read more... )

A very wild time was had by all! No cut for the pansies. Don't like it? Tough shit, dogs! EAT IT!


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Oh sweet Jeebus! Gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson is dead! He went out Hemingway style.

Tonight I'll be dining and clubbing with a lingerie model, a fashion designer and a certified M.I.L.F. and an assortment of various other bohemians and sexpots. Can you say ORGY?!... Pictures tomorrow.

me: I got it.

Gloria: Good! Now I don't have to pick up anymore papers.

-Monday January 17th, 2005 10:14 P.M.-

The it1. referenced above is none other than the group leader position I applied and interviewed for last month. Yesterday I was offered the position and said yes. Not right away, of course. I waited till after lunch to give 'the brass ( Read more... )

"You once asked me, quite cruelly, what I have to offer a woman like that...."

-me

"Misato, how can you be so cruel?"

-Shinji Ikari

"Self-improvement is masturbation. Self-destruction is the answer."

-Tyler DurdenWhat kind of loser gets rejected by his own kind?... Why, THIS loser of course... Veronica turned me down. She wants to fuck Eli, ( Read more... )

I miss my livejournal. I miss writing in my livejournal. i miss reading your livejournals. but while the soul is willing, the eye balls can not tolerate. i'm awaiting the arrival of my replacement video card from Cyber Power so I can once again stand to look at the screen for more than a few minutes without going cross eyed for half the day ( Read more... )

The windows and balcony door are open. The house is a cool 70 degrees... While driving to Dunkin' Donuts, Honuts, Gonuts, Gonads, I fantasize about running over pedestrians to the adrenal laced sounds of hardcore German metal. What's wrong with me? All that's left is for me to start masturbating furiously to documentaries where people are skinned ( Read more... )

My supervisor is a laborious cunt. She's what happens when you stuff pitbull DNA into the body of a chihuahua. Short, squat. Loud, obnoxious. Mean, vicious. Some people are hard to work with but they're absolute ladies and gents outside the office. Other's are total pricks in the real world, but the most well comported, professional workhorse you ( Read more... )