MQs for any guy I'd consider having a relationship with
I really do think we are attracted to people like our parents. Before I go out with anyone, I remind myself what I love about my dad and what I love about other men I've loved so I can quickly identify lovable qualities.
I love my dad, but I've had a very distant relationship with him for the last decade. I think there is a reciprocal relationship between my distant relationship with my father and my unsuccessful relationships with men. Over the years I had developed some resentment toward him for being so fucking retarded with stepmom #1 and #2. When I broke up with Eric I did not call him, but he knew something was wrong. He lived in San Diego for a time, but we only made it down to see him a couple of times. He invited me a few times on Sundays and I had to decline because Eric and I went to his parents house every weekend (yawn). He had a talk with Eric about spending quality time with me, just me, but Eric was even less receptive than I was. 'It is what it is,' I'd say, because like so many other things it really wasn't worth putting my foot down to see my dad.
Several months later, he started having nightmares over the holidays that he was back in San Diego and Eric was being a douchebag, and he knew he needed to do something but he didn't know what. He woke up feeling like he'd let me down, and he felt like something was very wrong. He started feeling like he might have left too soon and perhaps he should come back...at least to visit. He tried to get ahold of me but I wasn't returning his call, so he finally got my sister and sucked the truth out of her. He wasn't the least bit surprised about the breakup, or the timing of it. About a month after that he showed up at my new cottage to make up for lost time.
For the first time since I was 13 I spent an entire day with just my dad. We had not realized just how far apart we'd gotten, but I quickly remembered why I was daddy's little girl for so long. My dad's awesome. Flaky? Yes. Crazy? Definitely, but awesome nonetheless.
Because my dad is so awesome, he makes up most of this list, but it is also influenced by other men I've loved:
He is always genuinely appreciative. He doesn't just say thank you, he makes sure you understand that he is thankful.
He is both a great leader and a great teamplayer. He does well when he's in charge, but at times when it is appropriate (like when I am cooking) he steps back and does what he can to help.
He is always helpful, but he hates to have orders barked at him. When you are kind and respectful to him, the two of you work together in perfect harmony.
He is happiest when he is being himself, and he resents anyone who thinks he should be any different.
He charms everyone with his constant spontaneous humor, and as a result he is easily likable, especially by children. My dad was DEFINITELY the coolest dad when I was little.
Did your dad take you surfing or skateboarding nearly every day of the summer? No, I didn't think so. My dad made sure every day was about having fun. While we were probably financially poorer because of it, I think he taught us all how to enjoy life to it's fullest and that is a very valuable lesson (unfortunately my stepmom never learned it...stupid bitch).
A huge part of enjoying life is being creative. My dad is a musician, but both of my parents encouraged all things creative and artistic when we were little and were very creative/artistic themselves. Funny side story: we always used to sing along to the radio when we were little. When my dad was visiting, I was singing in the car, and I commented it felt weird with someone else there because Eric never let me sing. Dad was pissed: "WHAT? He wouldn't let you sing? What a fucking asshole. I'm sorry, but that's just wrong." He was far more pissed about the singing than anything else Eric did.
He dresses his own way, so it's not likely you'll catch him wearing the latest trend that everyone else is wearing.
He never loses his sense of humor for a moment, but he can be sincere long enough to tell you how he feels about you.
He's happy when you are happy, but he doesn't spend all of his time trying to be the one to make you happy. He's supportive of you making yourself happy.
He does not want to be the center of your universe, and he is not comfortable with your life revolving around his or vice versa. He believes in independence (although he often has a hard time maintaining it).
He would not hesitate to stand up for himself or his loved ones, but he is not an asshole, and he does not look for conflict.
When conflict is occurring around him, he is likely to intervene and attempt to be a peacemaker.
He is very giving and kind, even to strangers.
He is very intelligent, but he does not debate issues. He will listen to your point of view, and he will preach his own, but he doesn't argue. Your mind is your own, and he'd rather not be the one to change it.
Last but not least, he is tall and slender with a fair complexion. HAWT.