It's not fair

[crew4]

I don't know what to do. My poor husband hasn't seen his father in about 7 years. He spoke to him today on the phone and when he got off it was easy to see he was depressed. He said "My father is going to die and I'll end up living my life full of regret." It broke my heart. I'm at a loss to help him. I've suggested he go and we use the credit card

Comments

[karen9]

This is hard on you and your husband, but don't feel so guilty. Your husband made a choice because he loved you and you have three lovely children. I'm sure he doesn't regret his family. Does he have any siblings who can help? I want to rage sometimes because people like you deserve to have things a bit easier.

[crew4]

Well, the sibling thing is a long story. One doesn't have money because she gambled it all away (including their parents retirement savings) and the other lives on the other side of the country so has trouble getting back herself.
Thanks for your kind words. I know he's happy with us and I know he loves NZ, but it's tough on him. He deserves to see his family. None of them have met our son yet, who is named after his grandfather.
I want to rage sometimes because people like you deserve to have things a bit easier.
Lol, I think the same thing about some of your posts. I really wish you could go to the convention. Stuff money!!!!

[rusty_armour]

I don't think I can improve on what karen9 said. You shouldn't feel guilty for choices your husband made or things that are obviously beyond your control. I am very sorry that it's been so long since your husband has seen his father. If your father-in-law can't come to you do you think he might be willing to pay for part of your husband's airfare (if he can afford it)? I'm not sure what else to suggest other than putting aside a tiny bit of money each month to save for such a trip -- not an easy feat when you are on such a tight budget.

I know it seems bad right now, but try to keep your chin up. Things will get better.

[crew4]

Thanks for your support. I know it's his choice, and I know we're happy with our family and NZ, but it's times like this that I get angry and frustrated. In the 16 years we've been together his younger sister came once for a week and his older sister came once for a week. As a family we've been twice, and hubby went a couple of times by himself as his mother was dying. Everyone always says how much they miss us and love us but there is never any offer for money to help. To be honest I don't think his father has any to spare.

I know it seems bad right now, but try to keep your chin up. Things will get better
Yes, I agree. Thank you. Xx

[avictoriangirl]

Oh honey. I'm so very sorry. *hugs you* Please don't feel guilty, it's not your fault and I'm sure your husband doesn't blame you either. It sucks being poor, I feel your pain. *hugs you some more and sends you love and cookies and anything else to cheer you up*

[crew4]

Thanks love *hugs* I'll take the cookies and possibly a drop of Jensen to make be feel better :-) Hubby is always very closed about this sort of thing and even though I know it's joint choice to be in NZ I still feel really bad for him.

[greenhoodloxley]

*hugs* There's nothing for you to feel guilty about, but I understand why you feel bad. It's hard to be so far away from family. I'm sure your husband knows how much you love and support him and that he appreciates it. :)

[crew4]

*hugs* thanks hon. We know we've got each other, but what I'd give to get hubby to the States.