Pillow Talk
Isaac and I wrote this together and I didn't really feel like re-writing it so I just copied and pasted.
Apologies to mutual friends
Last night Adri and I were lying in bed talking about stuff like we usually do. ie. Unicorns, Daggeroons, Practical application of Dungeons and Dragons Magic Itmes, etc.
The topics last night were:
Pregnant Olympics
which we got to like this:
Adri was telling me about watching a weiner dog puppy (weiner puppy?) play catch with half a tennis ball which totally makes sense because it's mouth is so small. And I was thinking about how Adri had told me earlier that she knew somebody who had a pregnant weiner dog and she wanted to get one of the puppys so I started thinking about how a pregnant weiner dog would look and asked Adri about that. She said they probably just have a really long uterus insead of a wide one, like a snake.
I was still thinking though how would they move around, their legs are so short and belly is so close to the ground. Adri said they probably get around about as much as a pregnant cat or human does, Not that much.
To which I answered "Obviously you haven't been watching the pregnant olympics." and we launched into speculation as to what events such a specticle would have.
Pregnant vollyball, Pregnant luge, Pregnant skydiving, basically all the things you shouldn't do when pregnant. Which they tell you not to do because such activity would likely shake the baby out of a woman. So for example in Pregnant womens basketball, (not to be confused with pregnant mens basketball which is a completely different sport), if a baby were to be shaken out of one of the players a foul could be called for one to many players on the field. What are they going to do really though? Intercept a pass? The baby's just going to lay in the middle of the court crying and beeing gross while the mother is a few pounds lighter.
So Pregnant Olympics would have to have a whole baby clean up team. It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it.
Anyway, that got wierd,
Next up: Rhubarb, Vegetable of EVIL
In our conversation the transition was seamless but we can't remeber how we got to Rhubarb.
Oh! Adri figured it out, here we go:
From Pregnant skydiving, Adri connected to how clear the sky has been lately and it would be a nice date to go out somewhere and look at the stars but we'd have to get really bundled up like in sleeping bags. On the date theme we moved to going berry picking for making pies. Raspberrys, Cherries, Blackberries, Adri said she has experience with blackberries because there use to be a patch in her backyard, there was also rhubarb.
Adri asked my "Why do people even eat Rhubarb?"
I said "I don't know it's nasty"
A: "I know It looks like a weed!"
I: "It's like making dandelion wine"
A: "When Adam named the rhubarb plant he said 'You shall be called rhubarb, and no one will ever want to eat you because you are ugly and have an ugly name.'"
I: "I can't think of any other kind of plant that's as nasty as rhubarb"
A: "Becaue it's EVIL! In the Garden of Eden there was the Tree of Knowledge, and the Weed of Evil, which was Rhubarb."
I: "Yeah God told Adam 'You may eat of any of the plants here except for the fruit from the tree of knowledge... oh and don't eat the Rhubarb either.' and Adam looked at the Rhubarb and said 'You don't have to tell me twice God, that's one nasty weed'"
A: "Of course the snake tried to get them to eat the rhubarb first... because it was evil (which is way cooler than knowledge) but it didn't work out too well. They wouldn't eat it right out because it looked nasty. The snake tried putting it in a pie with strawberries but strawberries and evil don't mix well and lost it's evil power. So the snake moved on to the tree of knowledge."
I: "The snake tries to make a Rhubarb and apple pie with the fruit from the tree of knowledge. He made a pie that knew it was evil. It coudn't be controlled."
A: "Even if God found out they did eat the rhubarb he'd be all like 'dang, I didn't think you'd acutally eat that, it's nasty! I was just warning you 'cause it's nasty!'"
Not as weird as before, but we got one more topic to go:
Ballad of the Bacon Bottle
Adri mentiond it was hot today and I said "Yeah, did you see the bacon bottle?"
We have a glass sobe bottle that we pour bacon grease in so we can throw it away when it gets full. This way it doesn't clog up the sink or get all gross in the trash bag. We keep the bottle on the south facing window sill by our kitchen sink. When it gets hot, or even just a little sunny, the sun light comes in the window, hits the bottle and warms the bacon grease, this happens quickly because the light is passing through two layers of glass to get to the grease. Its normal solid form at room temperature becomes a pale yellow of liquid grease and all the particles of mystery bits sink to the bottom of the jar. It looks really neat with the sun shining through it. It could almost be art if I didn't know it was animal fat in a fruit juice bottle.
Anyway, Adri acknowledged that yes, she had seen the bacon bottle today, and it had looked quite excellent.
Then she started singing, to the tune of "I will survive"
"Once I was afraid...
I was liquified."
(I picked that up and continued the song)
"The sun came through the window
and warmed me up inside
Then one day
The jar got full
They threw me in the dumpster they don't need me anymore!"
and we lost it, cracking up and promised to write it all down tonight.
Note: We need to distinguish the difference between nasty and gross. Nasty is worse than gross. So for example, Babys falling out of pregnant women playing basketball, and congealed bacon greas in trash cans, are gross. Rhubarb, however, is nasty. As you can see nasty is much worse.
Apologies to mutual friends
Last night Adri and I were lying in bed talking about stuff like we usually do. ie. Unicorns, Daggeroons, Practical application of Dungeons and Dragons Magic Itmes, etc.
The topics last night were:
Pregnant Olympics
which we got to like this:
Adri was telling me about watching a weiner dog puppy (weiner puppy?) play catch with half a tennis ball which totally makes sense because it's mouth is so small. And I was thinking about how Adri had told me earlier that she knew somebody who had a pregnant weiner dog and she wanted to get one of the puppys so I started thinking about how a pregnant weiner dog would look and asked Adri about that. She said they probably just have a really long uterus insead of a wide one, like a snake.
I was still thinking though how would they move around, their legs are so short and belly is so close to the ground. Adri said they probably get around about as much as a pregnant cat or human does, Not that much.
To which I answered "Obviously you haven't been watching the pregnant olympics." and we launched into speculation as to what events such a specticle would have.
Pregnant vollyball, Pregnant luge, Pregnant skydiving, basically all the things you shouldn't do when pregnant. Which they tell you not to do because such activity would likely shake the baby out of a woman. So for example in Pregnant womens basketball, (not to be confused with pregnant mens basketball which is a completely different sport), if a baby were to be shaken out of one of the players a foul could be called for one to many players on the field. What are they going to do really though? Intercept a pass? The baby's just going to lay in the middle of the court crying and beeing gross while the mother is a few pounds lighter.
So Pregnant Olympics would have to have a whole baby clean up team. It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it.
Anyway, that got wierd,
Next up: Rhubarb, Vegetable of EVIL
In our conversation the transition was seamless but we can't remeber how we got to Rhubarb.
Oh! Adri figured it out, here we go:
From Pregnant skydiving, Adri connected to how clear the sky has been lately and it would be a nice date to go out somewhere and look at the stars but we'd have to get really bundled up like in sleeping bags. On the date theme we moved to going berry picking for making pies. Raspberrys, Cherries, Blackberries, Adri said she has experience with blackberries because there use to be a patch in her backyard, there was also rhubarb.
Adri asked my "Why do people even eat Rhubarb?"
I said "I don't know it's nasty"
A: "I know It looks like a weed!"
I: "It's like making dandelion wine"
A: "When Adam named the rhubarb plant he said 'You shall be called rhubarb, and no one will ever want to eat you because you are ugly and have an ugly name.'"
I: "I can't think of any other kind of plant that's as nasty as rhubarb"
A: "Becaue it's EVIL! In the Garden of Eden there was the Tree of Knowledge, and the Weed of Evil, which was Rhubarb."
I: "Yeah God told Adam 'You may eat of any of the plants here except for the fruit from the tree of knowledge... oh and don't eat the Rhubarb either.' and Adam looked at the Rhubarb and said 'You don't have to tell me twice God, that's one nasty weed'"
A: "Of course the snake tried to get them to eat the rhubarb first... because it was evil (which is way cooler than knowledge) but it didn't work out too well. They wouldn't eat it right out because it looked nasty. The snake tried putting it in a pie with strawberries but strawberries and evil don't mix well and lost it's evil power. So the snake moved on to the tree of knowledge."
I: "The snake tries to make a Rhubarb and apple pie with the fruit from the tree of knowledge. He made a pie that knew it was evil. It coudn't be controlled."
A: "Even if God found out they did eat the rhubarb he'd be all like 'dang, I didn't think you'd acutally eat that, it's nasty! I was just warning you 'cause it's nasty!'"
Not as weird as before, but we got one more topic to go:
Ballad of the Bacon Bottle
Adri mentiond it was hot today and I said "Yeah, did you see the bacon bottle?"
We have a glass sobe bottle that we pour bacon grease in so we can throw it away when it gets full. This way it doesn't clog up the sink or get all gross in the trash bag. We keep the bottle on the south facing window sill by our kitchen sink. When it gets hot, or even just a little sunny, the sun light comes in the window, hits the bottle and warms the bacon grease, this happens quickly because the light is passing through two layers of glass to get to the grease. Its normal solid form at room temperature becomes a pale yellow of liquid grease and all the particles of mystery bits sink to the bottom of the jar. It looks really neat with the sun shining through it. It could almost be art if I didn't know it was animal fat in a fruit juice bottle.
Anyway, Adri acknowledged that yes, she had seen the bacon bottle today, and it had looked quite excellent.
Then she started singing, to the tune of "I will survive"
"Once I was afraid...
I was liquified."
(I picked that up and continued the song)
"The sun came through the window
and warmed me up inside
Then one day
The jar got full
They threw me in the dumpster they don't need me anymore!"
and we lost it, cracking up and promised to write it all down tonight.
Note: We need to distinguish the difference between nasty and gross. Nasty is worse than gross. So for example, Babys falling out of pregnant women playing basketball, and congealed bacon greas in trash cans, are gross. Rhubarb, however, is nasty. As you can see nasty is much worse.