[fic] dust off our memories; lost, sayid/sun; pg13
dust off our memories; pg13
lost, sayid/sun; 836
Sun thought that she'd be happy to say goodbye, to put everything to rest. But when she gets a voice message from Sayid, the lie of that presumption hits her square in the chest.
"I'm in town. Thought we could have a couple drinks..." his voice trails off. "Call me."
Sun sets the phone down and it makes an empty, plastic sound when it connects with the counter. She brings a hand to her mouth, feels the sting of threatening tears.
"What's the matter, mommy?" Ji Yeon stands in the hall, a teddy bear dragging behind.
"Nothing sweetie," Sun tells her. "Just an old friend."
-
"So," Sayid says, "New Mexico?"
They sit in the very back of the restaurant, a dark quiet booth, and Sun can't stop staring at his face, the way he props his chin on his palm, the way he looks at her when he talks, his eyes alight with rapt attention, excitement. Like he's been waiting to say these things for a very long time. Waiting for someone to listen.
"Sun?" he says, getting her attention.
"Oh," she shakes her head. "Yes. New Mexico." She pauses a moment, thinks of a way to explain it. "The desert," she tells him slowly. "I like the way the light sticks to everything, the world exposed."
So much different from the island.
"Now, that," he tells her, "I can understand."
-
He takes her back to the apartment and Sun invites him in for coffee. She's not even sure she has any. The truth is, she just wants more time with him. There's a connection between them, one she suspects that people share when they've survived a great tragedy together. And she tells herself this without acknowledging that that's exactly who they are.
That's exactly who they are.
She says goodbye to her mother, kisses her on the cheek. Briefly introduces her to Sayid before she leaves. He is gracious and polite and says how lovely it is to meet her.
After, Sun makes the coffee, moving about in the kitchen while Sayid waits in the living room. She rummages through the cabinets. Surely she has some cookies or something to go with it, but she can't seem to find anything. Green cups, or white? Does it matter? She stands, examining the cabinet, and is vaguely aware of the soft sound of his footsteps behind her. She shivers when she feels him standing at her side. The machine begins its familiar gurgle and Sayid's hand lands at her shoulder, fingers brushing her neck. "You can relax," he tells her. "Just relax."
Sun turns to him and she pulls his face into her hands, wants to memorize every feature.
Flesh and bone.
Skin and teeth.
"I just can't believe you're really here," she tells him, bows her head in a blush.
"I am here," Sayid tells her, a calm in his voice, a certainty. "And you are here."
She kisses him, an impulse she almost doesn't take. His lips are soft and she runs a hand through his hair, feels him kissing her back.
"I'm sorry," she breathes when they part. "I don't know why..."
"No apologies," Sayid cuts her off, reaches for her hand, laces fingers through hers. "Why don't you show me to the bedroom?"
-
Sayid is a gentle lover, slow and sure and thorough. Sun moves beneath him, and the only sound is of their breathing, of skin on skin, of their mouths catching each other's briefly with each rhythm. His hand slides up and down her side, around the curve of her breast, until he brings a thumb over her hardened nipple.
Sun closes her eyes.
She hasn't been with a man since Jin, hasn't even thought of it. In a weird way she feels he would approve of this, feels he'd be okay with it. They're connected in a way she can't explain, and seeing him again made her feel understood, for the first time. He's the only one left who could possibly understand.
She feels his hand go to her middle, a finger circling her clit.
She whispers his name into his mouth.
"Sayid."
When she comes there are tears in her eyes and he kisses them away.
"Come here," he says, pulls her into his arms, covers her for warmth.
"You're okay," he tells her. "You're okay."
-
Later, he traces fingers down her arm, watches as the tiny hairs rise.
"Sun," he tells her. "I have a request."
"Yes?" she says, half asleep, eyes barely open.
"In the morning," he says. "If you don't mind. I would very much like to meet your daughter."
Sun gives him a questioning look, a look that tells him she's not sure it's the best idea.
"It's just, I'll be staying in town for a while," he explains. "I might be around a lot. I'd like to get to know her, if that's okay?"
Sun bites her lip, smiles.
"I don't mind," she tells him. "I don't mind at all."
-fin
lost, sayid/sun; 836
Sun thought that she'd be happy to say goodbye, to put everything to rest. But when she gets a voice message from Sayid, the lie of that presumption hits her square in the chest.
"I'm in town. Thought we could have a couple drinks..." his voice trails off. "Call me."
Sun sets the phone down and it makes an empty, plastic sound when it connects with the counter. She brings a hand to her mouth, feels the sting of threatening tears.
"What's the matter, mommy?" Ji Yeon stands in the hall, a teddy bear dragging behind.
"Nothing sweetie," Sun tells her. "Just an old friend."
-
"So," Sayid says, "New Mexico?"
They sit in the very back of the restaurant, a dark quiet booth, and Sun can't stop staring at his face, the way he props his chin on his palm, the way he looks at her when he talks, his eyes alight with rapt attention, excitement. Like he's been waiting to say these things for a very long time. Waiting for someone to listen.
"Sun?" he says, getting her attention.
"Oh," she shakes her head. "Yes. New Mexico." She pauses a moment, thinks of a way to explain it. "The desert," she tells him slowly. "I like the way the light sticks to everything, the world exposed."
So much different from the island.
"Now, that," he tells her, "I can understand."
-
He takes her back to the apartment and Sun invites him in for coffee. She's not even sure she has any. The truth is, she just wants more time with him. There's a connection between them, one she suspects that people share when they've survived a great tragedy together. And she tells herself this without acknowledging that that's exactly who they are.
That's exactly who they are.
She says goodbye to her mother, kisses her on the cheek. Briefly introduces her to Sayid before she leaves. He is gracious and polite and says how lovely it is to meet her.
After, Sun makes the coffee, moving about in the kitchen while Sayid waits in the living room. She rummages through the cabinets. Surely she has some cookies or something to go with it, but she can't seem to find anything. Green cups, or white? Does it matter? She stands, examining the cabinet, and is vaguely aware of the soft sound of his footsteps behind her. She shivers when she feels him standing at her side. The machine begins its familiar gurgle and Sayid's hand lands at her shoulder, fingers brushing her neck. "You can relax," he tells her. "Just relax."
Sun turns to him and she pulls his face into her hands, wants to memorize every feature.
Flesh and bone.
Skin and teeth.
"I just can't believe you're really here," she tells him, bows her head in a blush.
"I am here," Sayid tells her, a calm in his voice, a certainty. "And you are here."
She kisses him, an impulse she almost doesn't take. His lips are soft and she runs a hand through his hair, feels him kissing her back.
"I'm sorry," she breathes when they part. "I don't know why..."
"No apologies," Sayid cuts her off, reaches for her hand, laces fingers through hers. "Why don't you show me to the bedroom?"
-
Sayid is a gentle lover, slow and sure and thorough. Sun moves beneath him, and the only sound is of their breathing, of skin on skin, of their mouths catching each other's briefly with each rhythm. His hand slides up and down her side, around the curve of her breast, until he brings a thumb over her hardened nipple.
Sun closes her eyes.
She hasn't been with a man since Jin, hasn't even thought of it. In a weird way she feels he would approve of this, feels he'd be okay with it. They're connected in a way she can't explain, and seeing him again made her feel understood, for the first time. He's the only one left who could possibly understand.
She feels his hand go to her middle, a finger circling her clit.
She whispers his name into his mouth.
"Sayid."
When she comes there are tears in her eyes and he kisses them away.
"Come here," he says, pulls her into his arms, covers her for warmth.
"You're okay," he tells her. "You're okay."
-
Later, he traces fingers down her arm, watches as the tiny hairs rise.
"Sun," he tells her. "I have a request."
"Yes?" she says, half asleep, eyes barely open.
"In the morning," he says. "If you don't mind. I would very much like to meet your daughter."
Sun gives him a questioning look, a look that tells him she's not sure it's the best idea.
"It's just, I'll be staying in town for a while," he explains. "I might be around a lot. I'd like to get to know her, if that's okay?"
Sun bites her lip, smiles.
"I don't mind," she tells him. "I don't mind at all."
-fin