[fic] Mature Thoughts
Title: Mature Thoughts
Author:
crimson_raining
Pairing: Kirihara Akaya / Yukimura Seiichi
Rating: G
Word Count: 452
Beta:
ishougen and
tohshimari
Summary: Kirihara waits for Yukimura to wake up with only his thoughts as company. First Person POV.
Disclaimer: I am a poor Canadian, I couldn't own it if I tried.
A/N: This glorified drabble was done to practise my first person writing with Kirihara, any input on how he turned out would be greatly appreciated.
As I sit here and watch my captain breathe, I find that the only thing I can think about is how we almost lost him, still could lose him. Yukimura’s face is very pale, and he doesn’t move at all. The only sound that breaks the silence is the sound of both of our breathing; mine regular and deep, his raspy and seemingly far to shallow, regulated by some machine that hums softly.
Yukimura is hooked up to many machines; they hum and whir softly, and now and then a faint beep echoes through the room. I hate those machines. I hate all the tubes and needles that attach themselves to him. I know that they are the reason that Yukimura’s condition is steady, but I can’t help but feel as if they are sucking his life away.
It’s a stupid thought to have, I know that, but I think it anyway. If Yukimura were conscious, if he could move, he would rip them out of his body viciously. He would hate the machines, the tubes and the needles just as much as I do. No, he would hate them more then I do because that’s the type of person Yukimura is.
Though, isn’t that what got him in this situation in the first place?
Even though his determination and independence are what I admire most about Yukimura, I know that if he had said something sooner, not tried to get better through sheer willpower alone, that it wouldn’t have turned out like this. If he had just admitted that there was something wrong it could have been fixed before it got worse, before it tried to take him from us.
But… I guess Yukimura wouldn’t be Yukimura if he had done something like that.
I know that he refuses to rely on other people and I know that when it comes down to it, he thinks he is the only one who can help him. Yukimura believes in himself, and if he can’t do things by himself, for himself, then those things aren’t meant for him. In his eyes, he supports everyone and he doesn’t need anyone to lean on. Ever.
Even though I know all that, I can’t help but want him to rely on me. If only for a moment, even if it was just a little bit, I want to be the one that will support him, because everyone needs someone. Yukimura has been there for me; he’s picked me up and he’s taken me under his wing. Yukimura devoted himself to me; he’s trained me more then anyone else; he made me his successor.
I just want to give back a little of what he’s given me.