GO TEAM GO
Look, I'm sorry. We'll call it a two-part premiere episode?
Henderson was playing gin rummy with Lorne in the barracks lounge when Lt. Banks wandered in, looking a little shell-shocked.
Lorne sighed, and Henderson nodded. They both knew what that look meant.
"Hey, Banks, you okay?" Henderson asked, rearranging his cards according to suit.
Banks glanced over at them in mild surprise, but then he nodded tentatively. "Yeah, I-- I guess. I was just talking to Colonel Sheppard, is all."
"About?" Lorne prompted.
"Um, you know the new linguist who came on the last Daedalus trip? She and I have kind of been-- you know, talking. And I might have mentioned to him that I wanted to ask her out for real."
"Ah."
"Right, so Colonel Sheppard kind of...gave me some tips."
Lorne winced, and Henderson put his cards down.
"I just-- I mean, I know he's a ladies' man and all, but I don't think coming on her face is the answer!"
Lorne walked over to where Banks was huddled on the couch. "Banks, Sheppard is good at his job, but your instincts in this case are spot on. Get her some flowers on your next trip to the mainland, maybe. Or there's a meteor shower next week-- maybe you could ask her to watch it with you."
Henderson was shaking his head slowly. "How is he supposed to come on her face before asking her out, anyway? That just doesn't seem to make a lot of sense timewise, let alone in any other way."
Banks paled. "I'd rather not say. He was kind of...graphic."
Lorne clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Okay, you forget about that. Ask her out, treat her right, and it will all be fine. Go on now."
Once Banks was gone, Henderson gave Lorne a weary look. "I guess we should do something."
Lorne nodded firmly. "The important thing is to keep trying."
**
Sheppard trailed into the gym after Ronon, but he frowned when he saw that all the guys working out had stripped down to their shorts. "What's going on here, guys?"
Morin didn't look up from doing his bicep curls. "Something's wrong with the environmental controls, sir. Science team's looking into it."
"Huh," John said. "It is pretty warm."
"Okay, buddy, better find someone else to spot you!" Lorne said cheerfully to Henderson at the bench press, his voice overloud somehow. "Hey, Sheppard, mind taking my spot?"
John sauntered over, shrugging in aquiescence.
Lorne did not acknowledge Ronon's raised eyebrow as he beat a hasty retreat.
**
"What's this movie about?" Sheppard asked. "I've never heard of it."
Henderson heard someone make a sound of incredulity behind him. "Uh, well, these two guys are herding sheep on this mountain, and they become really good friends. They kind of go through thick and thin together--"
"Sounds like me and McKay!" Sheppard brayed, chuckling to himself.
Henderson felt Watson's sharp elbow in his kidneys, but he just nodded brightly.
Unfortunately, the gateroom alarm went off about twenty minutes into the movie, so Sheppard had to run off and save all their lives or whatever.
The next morning, he joined Henderson at breakfast. "So what happened in the movie? One of the guys breaks his back?"
**
Things were getting pretty rough-- something which became even more evident when Banks found Lorne in the armory and gave him a pleading look. "Colonel Sheppard saw me on a date with Janine, and this morning he told me that the best way to make it work would be to fuck other women and make sure she finds out."
Lorne loaded the clip into his gun, then fired off three rounds. "Don't worry, Banks," he intoned. "We're taking care of it."
**
Walsh had a pretty strong ancient gene and an unending well of patience, so he volunteered.
Twenty-five minutes later he was trapped in a malfunctioning (and currently unnecessary, given that the city was floating on the ocean) airlock with McKay.
"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!" McKay raged while Walsh leaned against a wall.
"I'm sure Colonel Sheppard will be here soon," Walsh replied, giving the wall a subtle pat of approval. The city hummed.
"God, don't say that. He's been such a raging asshole lately, I don't know how all of you put up with it."
Walsh shrugged. "I guess he gets antsy when you guys aren't going offworld. You two share a tent, right?"
McKay looked up at him in confusion. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Oh, I remember him saying something about accidentally packing your sleeping bag with his gear one time. Those things happen!"
"I guess. Fuck, this means Carson is going to check for mysterious airborne contaminants again, isn't it? Like I wasn't behind already. I mean, just because I almost died once from exploring a new part of the city doesn't mean that will happen EVERY time."
"He'll probably want to run a lot of tests, yeah," Walsh agreed.
**
Everyone was waiting in the lounge when Walsh's whispered report came through on the radio. "Sheppard freaked out about potential toxins, and he's been sitting at McKay's bedside for the past hour!"
Lorne grinned as they all started to whoop and holler in triumph. He gave Henderson a jubilant high five. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Henderson was playing gin rummy with Lorne in the barracks lounge when Lt. Banks wandered in, looking a little shell-shocked.
Lorne sighed, and Henderson nodded. They both knew what that look meant.
"Hey, Banks, you okay?" Henderson asked, rearranging his cards according to suit.
Banks glanced over at them in mild surprise, but then he nodded tentatively. "Yeah, I-- I guess. I was just talking to Colonel Sheppard, is all."
"About?" Lorne prompted.
"Um, you know the new linguist who came on the last Daedalus trip? She and I have kind of been-- you know, talking. And I might have mentioned to him that I wanted to ask her out for real."
"Ah."
"Right, so Colonel Sheppard kind of...gave me some tips."
Lorne winced, and Henderson put his cards down.
"I just-- I mean, I know he's a ladies' man and all, but I don't think coming on her face is the answer!"
Lorne walked over to where Banks was huddled on the couch. "Banks, Sheppard is good at his job, but your instincts in this case are spot on. Get her some flowers on your next trip to the mainland, maybe. Or there's a meteor shower next week-- maybe you could ask her to watch it with you."
Henderson was shaking his head slowly. "How is he supposed to come on her face before asking her out, anyway? That just doesn't seem to make a lot of sense timewise, let alone in any other way."
Banks paled. "I'd rather not say. He was kind of...graphic."
Lorne clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Okay, you forget about that. Ask her out, treat her right, and it will all be fine. Go on now."
Once Banks was gone, Henderson gave Lorne a weary look. "I guess we should do something."
Lorne nodded firmly. "The important thing is to keep trying."
**
Sheppard trailed into the gym after Ronon, but he frowned when he saw that all the guys working out had stripped down to their shorts. "What's going on here, guys?"
Morin didn't look up from doing his bicep curls. "Something's wrong with the environmental controls, sir. Science team's looking into it."
"Huh," John said. "It is pretty warm."
"Okay, buddy, better find someone else to spot you!" Lorne said cheerfully to Henderson at the bench press, his voice overloud somehow. "Hey, Sheppard, mind taking my spot?"
John sauntered over, shrugging in aquiescence.
Lorne did not acknowledge Ronon's raised eyebrow as he beat a hasty retreat.
**
"What's this movie about?" Sheppard asked. "I've never heard of it."
Henderson heard someone make a sound of incredulity behind him. "Uh, well, these two guys are herding sheep on this mountain, and they become really good friends. They kind of go through thick and thin together--"
"Sounds like me and McKay!" Sheppard brayed, chuckling to himself.
Henderson felt Watson's sharp elbow in his kidneys, but he just nodded brightly.
Unfortunately, the gateroom alarm went off about twenty minutes into the movie, so Sheppard had to run off and save all their lives or whatever.
The next morning, he joined Henderson at breakfast. "So what happened in the movie? One of the guys breaks his back?"
**
Things were getting pretty rough-- something which became even more evident when Banks found Lorne in the armory and gave him a pleading look. "Colonel Sheppard saw me on a date with Janine, and this morning he told me that the best way to make it work would be to fuck other women and make sure she finds out."
Lorne loaded the clip into his gun, then fired off three rounds. "Don't worry, Banks," he intoned. "We're taking care of it."
**
Walsh had a pretty strong ancient gene and an unending well of patience, so he volunteered.
Twenty-five minutes later he was trapped in a malfunctioning (and currently unnecessary, given that the city was floating on the ocean) airlock with McKay.
"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!" McKay raged while Walsh leaned against a wall.
"I'm sure Colonel Sheppard will be here soon," Walsh replied, giving the wall a subtle pat of approval. The city hummed.
"God, don't say that. He's been such a raging asshole lately, I don't know how all of you put up with it."
Walsh shrugged. "I guess he gets antsy when you guys aren't going offworld. You two share a tent, right?"
McKay looked up at him in confusion. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Oh, I remember him saying something about accidentally packing your sleeping bag with his gear one time. Those things happen!"
"I guess. Fuck, this means Carson is going to check for mysterious airborne contaminants again, isn't it? Like I wasn't behind already. I mean, just because I almost died once from exploring a new part of the city doesn't mean that will happen EVERY time."
"He'll probably want to run a lot of tests, yeah," Walsh agreed.
**
Everyone was waiting in the lounge when Walsh's whispered report came through on the radio. "Sheppard freaked out about potential toxins, and he's been sitting at McKay's bedside for the past hour!"
Lorne grinned as they all started to whoop and holler in triumph. He gave Henderson a jubilant high five. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!