sudsy
Lt. Banks had a happy smile on his face as he pushed his way into the laundry room. Janine had kissed him out on the southwest pier the night before, and he just felt like he was settling into Atlantis really well.
He put down his laundry basket and was about to start sorting out the whites when he heard a sort of broken noise from across the room. He put down his handful of undershirts and walked carefully around the row of washing machines to find Colonel Sheppard huddled against one of the dryers, a blue shirt pressed to his face as he inhaled deeply. Given that Banks had heard McKay bitching that morning about the way his clothes kept disappearing, he had a feeling this particular shirt did not belong to Dr. Zelenka.
Sheppard still hadn't seen him, so Banks tiptoed back to his basket, then scurried out into the hallway, turning his radio on. "Flores?" he said in a quiet voice. "We have a problem."
"Report, Banks."
"I just found the Colonel in the laundry room. He's-- well, he's kind of nuzzling a shirt. A science team shirt."
Flores sighed. "And we all know what that means. Okay, good job, Banks. We're on it-- but you keep watch to make sure he doesn't go anywhere. We wouldn't want him trying to gate to unexplored planets as a way to avoid the pain. Again."
"Yes, sir," Banks agreed, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. He knew he should have brought a book.
**
Flores broke into SGA-1's most recent mission report without too much difficulty, Morin standing over his shoulder. They skipped past Sheppard and McKay's accounts without even looking at them, because they had long ago learned that the most honest and concise source of what had gone wrong was usually Ronon.
After the rockslide, Sheppard's leg was bad and so was my arm. McKay helped Sheppard back to the gate. Sheppard looked like he might pass out. His head kept falling down on McKay's shoulder. Sheppard sounded weird in the infirmary. He told Rodney that he smelled good and Carson started talking real fast about him having a concussion. They sewed my arm.
"Guess that explains the shirt thing," Morin said.
Flores shot him a grim look. "Yeah, but what are we going to do about it?"
**
"You still have that blowdart pipe?" Watson asked as he sat down next to Ronon in the mess hall.
Yeah."
"Wanna help us out? We're-- uh, we're playing a prank. On Sheppard."
Ronon swallowed a mouthful of potatoes. "Okay."
Watson dug into his meatloaf. "Cool."
Watson and Ronon were pretty good friends, actually.
**
Rodney walked into his quarters to find two marines messing with his bed. "Hey! What are you doing?"
Morin smiled brightly. "Hey, Dr. McKay! It turns out that someone had ordered a hypoallergenic comforter on the last Daedalus run, but that person ended up going back to earth and left it behind. Colonel Sheppard told us that your allergies are absolutely a legitimate medical concern, and when I found it, I thought I'd bring it to you!"
"Oh. Well, thank you, I suppose, although a little warning might be nice next time. It can be a little disconcerting to walk into my own room and find strange marines--"
"Gotcha, sir!" Henderson boomed. "We'll just take this old allergen-ridden comforter out of your way. We want to take good care of our scientists!"
Rodney watched, slightly baffled, as they both hustled out the door.
**
"Why is Sheppard hiding in the laundry room?" Ronon asked in a low voice, preparing one of the darts.
"It's a game," Watson answered, sending Banks a cautionary glance. The kid looked a little puzzled, but he just laid an arm over his laundry basket and shrugged. "Like a hide and seek game."
"But with poison," Ronon said.
"Well, not deadly poison, but yeah," Watson admitted. "It's an Earth thing." Watson sometimes wondered how many times they'd be able to get away with 'it's an Earth thing' before Ronon got suspicious. On the other hand, Ronon probably didn't care either way. "We just want to knock him out for a little while."
"I'm not helping to carry his body," Ronon said, before raising the blowdart pipe and aiming.
**
Sheppard woke up groggy, in his own bed. It smelled different than normal, though. It smelled-- god, it smelled like Rodney. He buried his face in the unfamiliar comforter and breathed deep. This was a million times better than one of Rodney's shirts. It smelled like sleep and warmth and Rodney, and if John wanted, he could pretend that Rodney was sleeping next to him in the bed, just out of reach.
He snuggled down into the blankets and felt his mind go clear with happiness.
**
Peering at the monitor, they watched Sheppard smile and fall back asleep. Watson breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Man, that was a close one!"
Banks nodded. "Okay, I guess I'll go do my laundry now--"
Morin grabbed Banks by the shoulder. "Whoa, kid, you've got a lot to learn. Come on, if you save the city from certain destruction, you don't just turn around and do some chores! You celebrate your awesomeness, right?"
Banks blinked. "I guess?"
Flores grinned. "Yeah, kid! Come on, give me a high five!"
Banks did, and they all cheered. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!