hanging out
Monday night and out at the club as per usual. I was leaning on the bar and spriggan turned to me and asked, "so how are you managing with the whole declaring to the scene that you're dating?"
I haven't gotten around to reading the Urban Tribes book that some folks were talking about last month, but the scraps that I gathered from the website seemed to say that it might apply to my group of friends, specifically that bit about the complex dynamics between large groups of friends that pair off, separate, and pair off again in a hyperactive web of urban pseudo-incest. We watch each other when we're out at parties and the clubs and take small notes of who's talking to whom, who arrives together, and who leaves together. The opening days of a relationship are possessed with their own ineffable fragility, and in an age of relatively casual sex, it's often difficult to tell if one blissful night might lead into something substantial. So we dance around the topic, and say that we're just "hanging out" with someone when we really mean that we're shagging them senseless. We write vague journal entries alluding to a wonderful evening or pleasant morning, and we never come up with a straight answer if someone asks us if we're dating someone, because sometimes, we don't even know ourselves.
Sunday before last, after I was DJing at Reverie, silentq and I had walked back to my car and were making out briefly at the Harvest parking lot. I looked up and saw Bob from Sinister House walk by and I asked her, "think he saw us?"
She giggled and asked, "think the rumor mill's going to start up? I think jasonlizard and perseverate were talking to us with that 'hmm... I wonder what's going on?' sort of look."
and I just shrugged and said, "ah, let it start. I imagine that it's just friends being happy for us."
In that moment, I briefly contemplated just nipping gossip in the bud and posting a public announcement, but because Spriggan had announced his divorce in a similar way, I thought that it might be in bad taste. So, I sort of punted and made that offhand footnote in my haircutting entry.
and when I told him this last night, he said, "no way, dude. Go for it. I totally give my permission if you need it."
In a way, he had a point. The last few weeks have been kind of brutal for relationships, and saying that something new has blossomed between us doesn't take away from that. However, it does remind our friends that eventhough love might go awry and partnerships may crumble, there's always the hope of a new beginning somewhere else, with someone else. You just need patience to see you through the loneliness and courage to believe in the opportunity when it presents itself.
So, yeah, we're dating. It's pretty cool.
and, oh yeah, we're "hanging out", too
I haven't gotten around to reading the Urban Tribes book that some folks were talking about last month, but the scraps that I gathered from the website seemed to say that it might apply to my group of friends, specifically that bit about the complex dynamics between large groups of friends that pair off, separate, and pair off again in a hyperactive web of urban pseudo-incest. We watch each other when we're out at parties and the clubs and take small notes of who's talking to whom, who arrives together, and who leaves together. The opening days of a relationship are possessed with their own ineffable fragility, and in an age of relatively casual sex, it's often difficult to tell if one blissful night might lead into something substantial. So we dance around the topic, and say that we're just "hanging out" with someone when we really mean that we're shagging them senseless. We write vague journal entries alluding to a wonderful evening or pleasant morning, and we never come up with a straight answer if someone asks us if we're dating someone, because sometimes, we don't even know ourselves.
Sunday before last, after I was DJing at Reverie, silentq and I had walked back to my car and were making out briefly at the Harvest parking lot. I looked up and saw Bob from Sinister House walk by and I asked her, "think he saw us?"
She giggled and asked, "think the rumor mill's going to start up? I think jasonlizard and perseverate were talking to us with that 'hmm... I wonder what's going on?' sort of look."
and I just shrugged and said, "ah, let it start. I imagine that it's just friends being happy for us."
In that moment, I briefly contemplated just nipping gossip in the bud and posting a public announcement, but because Spriggan had announced his divorce in a similar way, I thought that it might be in bad taste. So, I sort of punted and made that offhand footnote in my haircutting entry.
and when I told him this last night, he said, "no way, dude. Go for it. I totally give my permission if you need it."
In a way, he had a point. The last few weeks have been kind of brutal for relationships, and saying that something new has blossomed between us doesn't take away from that. However, it does remind our friends that eventhough love might go awry and partnerships may crumble, there's always the hope of a new beginning somewhere else, with someone else. You just need patience to see you through the loneliness and courage to believe in the opportunity when it presents itself.
So, yeah, we're dating. It's pretty cool.
and, oh yeah, we're "hanging out", too