When folks ask me about New York I'm fond of telling them that she's the worst abusive relationship you've ever had...but the sex was amazing. She's the kind of ex that you can't help but get back together with...repeatedly, and against the advice of all of your friends. You know she's going to cheat on you with your best friend. You know she's going to get drunk and throw a glass of whiskey at you. She'll crash your car, ruin your couch, and break your coffee maker (...probably on purpose, and possibly all at the same time). She won't return your calls or emails, and will frequently bail out on you at the last moment without any remorse. But when she calls, you always take the call, even though you know better. You just can't help it.
there was this internal fictional riffing going on in my head of what would happen if the friend and I kept on going with that conversation like:
"you know, if things line up, I might consider getting into an open relationship with New York and Boston."
"I think that'll be ok. I think Boston's used to it; and New York is, like, whatever, I'm always game. They've dated a lot of the same people."
"Except you know, if you have your fling with New York, Boston always looks at you a little suspiciously, like they can't trust you anymore because you might leave them for real. Like they've been hurt by people leaving them for New York all the time."
"Well, yeah, if that matters to you, then you should do a Boston/San Francisco poly relationship. Because it's a long enough distance that it'll be a challenge to maintain, and if you eventually opt to drop San Francisco in favor of Boston, Boston will always be, 'YEAH I FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT. YOU KNOW WHO REALLY LOVES YOU.' "
I frequently anthropomorphize relationship thoughts/emotions about New York, Boston & Montreal, and always thought I was weird for doing so. I'm glad to learn I'm not the only one.
my POV vis-à-vis New York is not kind or nice or forgiving. it is like that person that has stepped over the line way to often and thereafter tells you outright that they don't give a shit. that they don't care what you think unless you're gonna be their bitch. really not interested in being anyone's bitch, no matter what they have to offer.
Vancouver is the high school ex with whom I fell madly, crazily and adolescently in love and then had to break up with them because I was 18 and wasn't ready to settle down yet. Also, all they ever wanted to do for dates was go skiing, camping or eat dim sum. And while, granted, eating dim sum or going camping with Vancouver is always -amazing-, I kinda wanted a little more variety, y'know?
With that said, they are a very cool kid, and I will eagerly arrange for my friends to date Vancouver whenever the opportunity comes up.
It's unfortunate, but that one lovely day and night of visiting aside, most of my experience with Atlanta is connecting through Hartsfield Jackson International Airport, so if they're anyone, they're the co-worker who is a always stressed out, standoffish and usually running a little late, but you get them to after work drinks and they are awesome company.
Boston is sad that you left them, but they know and respect all of the practical reasons. They are always happy when you drop by and email to ask them if they want to get some coffee and catch up.
I dumped Chicago because I thought I could do better, and there are days when I think I was SO WRONG and days when I understand that 'better' and 'different' are not the same thing, and there's a lot to be said for giving yourself a shot at 'different.'
I really liked Chicago, but despite a lot of overlapping interests, we just never really clicked. It was a case of regular like, not *like*, nothing on which to build a long-term relationship.
Montreal: that lover who was parted from you by circumstances of life before the relationship has ended--never had a chance to go sour, and so even though you know it probably could/would have ended sooner or later, you can look back on that time with perfect nostalgia and a sense of longing for something that never came to be, but *could* have been. Fairmount bagels are my madeleines.
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~m
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"you know, if things line up, I might consider getting into an open relationship with New York and Boston."
"I think that'll be ok. I think Boston's used to it; and New York is, like, whatever, I'm always game. They've dated a lot of the same people."
"Except you know, if you have your fling with New York, Boston always looks at you a little suspiciously, like they can't trust you anymore because you might leave them for real. Like they've been hurt by people leaving them for New York all the time."
"Well, yeah, if that matters to you, then you should do a Boston/San Francisco poly relationship. Because it's a long enough distance that it'll be a challenge to maintain, and if you eventually opt to drop San Francisco in favor of Boston, Boston will always be, 'YEAH I FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT. YOU KNOW WHO REALLY LOVES YOU.' "
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~m
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Copenhagen was nasty and cold at first, and then just as we started to warm up to each other, I had to leave.
Atlanta and I have known each other a long, long time, long enough that we're having a hard time appreciating each other's good points.
New York had a lot of shit to cope with, and I couldn't handle it.
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With that said, they are a very cool kid, and I will eagerly arrange for my friends to date Vancouver whenever the opportunity comes up.
It's unfortunate, but that one lovely day and night of visiting aside, most of my experience with Atlanta is connecting through Hartsfield Jackson International Airport, so if they're anyone, they're the co-worker who is a always stressed out, standoffish and usually running a little late, but you get them to after work drinks and they are awesome company.
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And by "Boston" I really mean "we"
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Montreal: that lover who was parted from you by circumstances of life before the relationship has ended--never had a chance to go sour, and so even though you know it probably could/would have ended sooner or later, you can look back on that time with perfect nostalgia and a sense of longing for something that never came to be, but *could* have been. Fairmount bagels are my madeleines.
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