LJ Idol Week 37: Bedlamite

[crisp_sobriety]

The Bedlamite sits in the dark.

They barely move, barely speak; it is their compromise for existing in a world of noise. The door is locked against noise. There’s no tolerating the stutter and fuzz, no enduring the swell of beating drums.

The dark was not by choice, but it serves their purpose of non-stimulation well.

Comments

[suesniffsglue]

Evocative. I love that you did this as a prose-poem, because you truly succeeded making every word count. I think this was the most effective way you could have delivered this. Beautiful work.

[crisp_sobriety]

Thank you so much!

[bleodswean]

A nice change of pace for your always-lyrical voice.

[crisp_sobriety]

Thanks! It was a nice change of pace on this end, as well.

[halfshellvenus]

This is dark and fascinating. I like that the experiment circles back to itself all over again-- and pity those who ARE the experiment.

because it wanted to see the core of them and learn if it pulsed like its own.
Disturbing, and yet you believe this creature/being feels this way.

I don't think of this really as poetry-- especially once you've hit paragraphs! But there is nothing wrong with it just being sparse prose. (says the person who believes in the power of strategic linebreaks) That's perfectly legitimate, stylistically.

[crisp_sobriety]

Thank you so much!

I did say that it was a prose-poem. I'm a fan of those, so I wanted to write one. They almost always have paragraphs. ;)

[watching_ships]

The room is kept bare for this, this eventuality, and soon there is nothing left to break.

You say so much with this line. It's aching and it's real.

You've done a great job here.

[crisp_sobriety]

Thank you! Having specific lines pointed out is always thrilling, as I'm sure you know. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :3

[roina_arwen]

Love the way you get at the emotionality of feeling inhuman, the otherness of it all. I'm glad to know you're better now.

[crisp_sobriety]

Thank you!