Celebrity list
"I had a weird dream."
"OK."
"...."
"Was it about me?"
"... kind of."
"And?"
"...."
"...?"
"It was... weird."
"You cheated on me."
"Well... kind of...."
"Kind of?"
"It wasn't really you."
"Isn't that what makes it cheating?"
"No, I mean the person I cheated on."
"So you were dating someone who wasn't me."
"It was kind of you. And kind of someone else."
"Who?"
"Nobody."
"So who was it."
"Who was who?"
"The one you cheated on me with."
"It wasn't you."
"It kind of was."
"But it wasn't."
"That's what makes it cheating."
"No, that's not the guy I cheated with."
"Who was it?"
"A guy in a coffee shop."
"Who?"
"No one. Takeshi."
"A celebrity?"
"I used to be a big fan of his."
"Posters and stuff?"
"...."
"Anyway, you cheated on me with a celebrity."
"It wasn't really you."
"It kind of was."
"You have celebrity fantasies too."
"Not really."
"Come on, which five celebrities do you want to sleep with?"
"Like in Friends?"
"So what?"
"I don't want to sleep with any celebrities."
"You must. Give me your list. And if you ever get the chance...."
"I can't think of any."
"Seriously, I won't get mad. Catherine Zeta-Jones?"
"What if I really did sleep with Catherine Zeta-Jones?"
"... I'll kill you and burn your house down."
I'm not a big Friends watcher, but I am at least aware of the celebrity sex list, which may have been one of that show's most iconic contributions. For the uninitiated, at some point two of the friends are dating, and they agree that each is allowed to have a list of five celebrities that they are allowed to sleep with if the opportunity arises, consequence-free. People with boy- or girlfriends love to tell you gigglingly about how they have constructed such a list.
I won't ask why we want to sleep with celebrities so much. I think that it is often assumed that for the same reason we want to sleep with them, it would be tolerable to have our significant others sleep them. But wouldn't that tolerance actually invert itself? I have known people who insist they take these lists seriously. Does anyone else feel that way?
"OK."
"...."
"Was it about me?"
"... kind of."
"And?"
"...."
"...?"
"It was... weird."
"You cheated on me."
"Well... kind of...."
"Kind of?"
"It wasn't really you."
"Isn't that what makes it cheating?"
"No, I mean the person I cheated on."
"So you were dating someone who wasn't me."
"It was kind of you. And kind of someone else."
"Who?"
"Nobody."
"So who was it."
"Who was who?"
"The one you cheated on me with."
"It wasn't you."
"It kind of was."
"But it wasn't."
"That's what makes it cheating."
"No, that's not the guy I cheated with."
"Who was it?"
"A guy in a coffee shop."
"Who?"
"No one. Takeshi."
"A celebrity?"
"I used to be a big fan of his."
"Posters and stuff?"
"...."
"Anyway, you cheated on me with a celebrity."
"It wasn't really you."
"It kind of was."
"You have celebrity fantasies too."
"Not really."
"Come on, which five celebrities do you want to sleep with?"
"Like in Friends?"
"So what?"
"I don't want to sleep with any celebrities."
"You must. Give me your list. And if you ever get the chance...."
"I can't think of any."
"Seriously, I won't get mad. Catherine Zeta-Jones?"
"What if I really did sleep with Catherine Zeta-Jones?"
"... I'll kill you and burn your house down."
I'm not a big Friends watcher, but I am at least aware of the celebrity sex list, which may have been one of that show's most iconic contributions. For the uninitiated, at some point two of the friends are dating, and they agree that each is allowed to have a list of five celebrities that they are allowed to sleep with if the opportunity arises, consequence-free. People with boy- or girlfriends love to tell you gigglingly about how they have constructed such a list.
I won't ask why we want to sleep with celebrities so much. I think that it is often assumed that for the same reason we want to sleep with them, it would be tolerable to have our significant others sleep them. But wouldn't that tolerance actually invert itself? I have known people who insist they take these lists seriously. Does anyone else feel that way?