Feeling [Part Three]
Title - Feeling [Chapter 3]
Rating - R
Warnings - Language
Pairing - Dean/Adam
Summary - Adam just wanted to feel something...
Disclaimer - All characters and original plots belong to Eric Kripke and The CW. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended.
Word Count - 1,951 approx
Author Notes - This story has not been beta'd. I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors. Also, its rather dark. Ive had to extend this story, I dont know how many parts it will be now, sorry.
Dean couldn’t sleep.
His eyes where shut but he could not fall asleep, he tossed and turned in the small, creaky motel room bed. The argument with Adam played inside his head, over and over again.
“Sam wanted you here, not me”
The look on Adam’s face was fresh inside his head and the guilt wasn’t going away. It swirled around in his stomach and he felt awful. ‘It’s better this way’ he told himself, but deep down he knew he’d hurt the kid bad. Made an already bad situation worse. He almost couldn’t wait until tomorrow, knowing that Adam would be back in Widom safe and these sick thoughts would hopefully fade and eventually be gone. He tossed again and opened his eyes, Adam’s bed was empty and although the bathroom door was shut, the light from it shone under the door slightly. Dean glanced at the small alarm clock. 3.12am. That was weird, he’d been in the bathroom since Dean had gone to bed.
Dean rubbed his eyes as he got up. He groaned and stumbled in the darkness over to the bathroom door before knocking quietly.
“Adam?”
No response.
Dean knocked again.
“Adam?”
Maybe Adam had gone Dean though. No, Dean would have heard the door close. He knocked again.
“Adam? C’mon kid open the door,”
Still no response. Dean reached for the doorknob and turned it slowly only to find it was locked. Which confirmed Adam was definitely inside. What the hell was going on? Dean sighed as he knocked again.
“Adam, if you don’t open this door I’m going to kick it down, I know you’re pissed at me but just unlock the door!”
Still no response.
After one more knock Dean slowly backed away from the bathroom door. Before running towards it and kicking it hard, so hard it swung open.
And then Dean felt his heart stop.
Adam was lying on the bathroom floor, there was blood. Everywhere. Adam was sprawled out, his eyes were shut and there was blood surrounding his wrists. Alot of blood. Dean then saw the small knife that he and Sam kept in along with the other weapons lying on the tiled floor.
Dean couldn’t move, it was like he was frozen on the spot. He couldn’t fucking move.
Adam
He had to get to Adam, that’s what snapped him out of his shock. He quickly bent down and ran his finger over Adam’s neck, praying to feel a pulse, and nearly crying with relief when he felt one.
Slowly he picked up the smaller boy and carried him to the bed before laying him down, knowing that he had to stop the bleeding. He ran and got towels from the bathroom and held them to the wounds tightly to try and stop the bleeding. Oh god. This was like a nightmare.
He didn’t know what to do. Should he call the hospital? No. That could get Adam a one way ticket to the crazyhouse. No way was that happening. Instead he took a deep breath as he looked at Adam, before gently shaking him in an effort to get him to regain consciousness.
“Adam?” Dean whispered as the younger boy stirred slightly.
“Adam,” Dean repeated again as he made sure the towels were still tightly wrapped around the wounds. “Adam you’re gonna be okay,”
Adam groaned slightly.
“Dean...” Adam barely managed to get out, his eyes still shut.
“Yeah it’s me Adam, you’re gonna be alright, everything’s gonna be okay,”
“I.....I can’t,” Adam quietly murmured before Dean shushed him
“Shhh, I’ll go get you some water okay?” Dean said as he went to get Adam water from the kitchen, his hands were shaking.
He brought the cup between Adam’s lips as Adam slowly sipped the water. Dean then placed the water beside the bed and reached for the first aid kit.
Slowly, he reached out and removed the towels away from Adam’s left wrist before cleaning away the dry clotted blood caked around it. He took a deep breath when he got a proper look at the wound. It was a huge deep gash with some red liquid still slowly escaping. Dean felt tears at the corner of his eyes, how had he not seen this coming? How had he missed this? And then he remembered what he said to Adam only a few hours ago. He wanted to kick himself. But was slowly brought out of his self loathing thoughts by the sound of Adam groaning in pain.
“Dean....,”
Dean slowly began to hush Adam soothingly. Knowing he had to stitch up the wounds. And that it would hurt.
“Adam,” Dean said, trying to shield his chocked up voice, “Shhh Adam, I’m going to fix this okay? Just get some sleep alright,”
Adam took a deep breath as he looked a Dean for what felt the first time in months “I want....I want to die,” He slowly whispered, still obviously in pain.
Dean shut his eyes, he couldn’t believe he’d just heard. His seventeen year old little brother had just told him he wanted to die. He couldn’t help the fucking tears in his eyes from falling down his cheeks now. When did things get this bad? He forced his tears away knowing that he needed to stitch up the wounds now.
“Sleep Adam, please, just sleep,” He managed to get out as Adam let out a small groan before his eyes fluttered shut. Dean shook himself before getting to work on Adam’s wounds. ...
Rating - R
Warnings - Language
Pairing - Dean/Adam
Summary - Adam just wanted to feel something...
Disclaimer - All characters and original plots belong to Eric Kripke and The CW. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended.
Word Count - 1,951 approx
Author Notes - This story has not been beta'd. I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors. Also, its rather dark. Ive had to extend this story, I dont know how many parts it will be now, sorry.
Dean couldn’t sleep.
His eyes where shut but he could not fall asleep, he tossed and turned in the small, creaky motel room bed. The argument with Adam played inside his head, over and over again.
“Sam wanted you here, not me”
The look on Adam’s face was fresh inside his head and the guilt wasn’t going away. It swirled around in his stomach and he felt awful. ‘It’s better this way’ he told himself, but deep down he knew he’d hurt the kid bad. Made an already bad situation worse. He almost couldn’t wait until tomorrow, knowing that Adam would be back in Widom safe and these sick thoughts would hopefully fade and eventually be gone. He tossed again and opened his eyes, Adam’s bed was empty and although the bathroom door was shut, the light from it shone under the door slightly. Dean glanced at the small alarm clock. 3.12am. That was weird, he’d been in the bathroom since Dean had gone to bed.
Dean rubbed his eyes as he got up. He groaned and stumbled in the darkness over to the bathroom door before knocking quietly.
“Adam?”
No response.
Dean knocked again.
“Adam?”
Maybe Adam had gone Dean though. No, Dean would have heard the door close. He knocked again.
“Adam? C’mon kid open the door,”
Still no response. Dean reached for the doorknob and turned it slowly only to find it was locked. Which confirmed Adam was definitely inside. What the hell was going on? Dean sighed as he knocked again.
“Adam, if you don’t open this door I’m going to kick it down, I know you’re pissed at me but just unlock the door!”
Still no response.
After one more knock Dean slowly backed away from the bathroom door. Before running towards it and kicking it hard, so hard it swung open.
And then Dean felt his heart stop.
Adam was lying on the bathroom floor, there was blood. Everywhere. Adam was sprawled out, his eyes were shut and there was blood surrounding his wrists. Alot of blood. Dean then saw the small knife that he and Sam kept in along with the other weapons lying on the tiled floor.
Dean couldn’t move, it was like he was frozen on the spot. He couldn’t fucking move.
Adam
He had to get to Adam, that’s what snapped him out of his shock. He quickly bent down and ran his finger over Adam’s neck, praying to feel a pulse, and nearly crying with relief when he felt one.
Slowly he picked up the smaller boy and carried him to the bed before laying him down, knowing that he had to stop the bleeding. He ran and got towels from the bathroom and held them to the wounds tightly to try and stop the bleeding. Oh god. This was like a nightmare.
He didn’t know what to do. Should he call the hospital? No. That could get Adam a one way ticket to the crazyhouse. No way was that happening. Instead he took a deep breath as he looked at Adam, before gently shaking him in an effort to get him to regain consciousness.
“Adam?” Dean whispered as the younger boy stirred slightly.
“Adam,” Dean repeated again as he made sure the towels were still tightly wrapped around the wounds. “Adam you’re gonna be okay,”
Adam groaned slightly.
“Dean...” Adam barely managed to get out, his eyes still shut.
“Yeah it’s me Adam, you’re gonna be alright, everything’s gonna be okay,”
“I.....I can’t,” Adam quietly murmured before Dean shushed him
“Shhh, I’ll go get you some water okay?” Dean said as he went to get Adam water from the kitchen, his hands were shaking.
He brought the cup between Adam’s lips as Adam slowly sipped the water. Dean then placed the water beside the bed and reached for the first aid kit.
Slowly, he reached out and removed the towels away from Adam’s left wrist before cleaning away the dry clotted blood caked around it. He took a deep breath when he got a proper look at the wound. It was a huge deep gash with some red liquid still slowly escaping. Dean felt tears at the corner of his eyes, how had he not seen this coming? How had he missed this? And then he remembered what he said to Adam only a few hours ago. He wanted to kick himself. But was slowly brought out of his self loathing thoughts by the sound of Adam groaning in pain.
“Dean....,”
Dean slowly began to hush Adam soothingly. Knowing he had to stitch up the wounds. And that it would hurt.
“Adam,” Dean said, trying to shield his chocked up voice, “Shhh Adam, I’m going to fix this okay? Just get some sleep alright,”
Adam took a deep breath as he looked a Dean for what felt the first time in months “I want....I want to die,” He slowly whispered, still obviously in pain.
Dean shut his eyes, he couldn’t believe he’d just heard. His seventeen year old little brother had just told him he wanted to die. He couldn’t help the fucking tears in his eyes from falling down his cheeks now. When did things get this bad? He forced his tears away knowing that he needed to stitch up the wounds now.
“Sleep Adam, please, just sleep,” He managed to get out as Adam let out a small groan before his eyes fluttered shut. Dean shook himself before getting to work on Adam’s wounds. ...