"It's me!" cried Tab, "Don't do it" and yet, Smith charged tout de suite with bayonet
First things first: my old Photobucket has been renewed so all my older picspams are back in the land of the living. If you missed anything, and found that it was all 'BANDWIDTH EXCEEDED D:' now it's all good again, so go and have a gander. I'm going to try and shuffle things around over the holiday break so it doesn't happen again, because WOE.
ANOTHER THREESOME THIS WEEK!!!!
Smokey Gordon, Shifty Powers and Floyd Talbert ♥
Mainly because they seemed to share a few caps, ahahahaha so I decided to make a spam of them all together.
And in a completely unprecedented move, I LOVE THEM ALL. So prepare for some squee. God, I'm so predictable :D
MASSIVELY EPIC BOB PICSPAM PART NINE: SMOKEY, SHIFTY AND TAB
(or PEOPLE IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO HATE ♥)
This is Floyd Talbert. He is lovely, and impossible to dislike. He also has this uncanny knack of looking either effing gorgeous or borderline speshul. It's a talent.
On the left is Smokey Gordon, chucking up his lunch. Smokey is all fun and games. He is impossible to dislike. And on the right is Shifty Powers.
Shifty is the most precious little diddums in the whole of Easy Company. He is young, naïve, more than a little green around the edges, and impossible to dislike and he also possesses a jawline that is distinctly lickable
Tab is a NCO. This means he took part in the Dike shitcanning that wasn't a shitcanning, and the infamous pimp walk (IT IS AGAINST A BACKDROP OF THE BEE GEES, GUYS. STAYIN' ALIVE. JOHN TRAVOLTA STRUT. THAT'S CANON, TYVM)
Before they invade Europe, Tab gets a gun in the mail. Because it's not like he has one already or anything.
But he's well adorable about it (and gorgeous, not speshul). Joe's just envious.
Smokey epitomises 'blockhead' on the plane over, ahahahaha. And on the right you see a Shifty in its natural habitat. Shifty has the most adorable little frowny face. It's his "thinking face". I just want to pinch his cheeks and smooth his brow. AHHHHHHh what's wrong with me.
The three boys run across poor, poor Blithe in Normandy, who is busy being all strange and emo and looking at the sky. I love that they spend, like, ten minutes trying to figure out if it's him.
Tab veers dangerously between gorgeous and speshul in these caps.
And finally lands on gorgeous. Shifty is just confused by it all, bless.
Then Tab steals a German rainjacket (BAD MOVE, SONNY JIM) and is rather chuffed with himself. Joe is envious once more.
And then Luz is doing one of his glorious impersonations and Tab starts tugging on his lip (NGGGHHHHHHHHHH THE MOUTH. THE MOUTH IS THE TAB FEATURE I FIXATE UPON). Does anyone know if this is something RL!Tab did? Because the actor does it throughout the series (NGL, it's freaking hot) and if it's a little character trait I kinda love it.
He's also very distinctly in the GORGEOUS camp right now. I should be tallying this Gorgeous vs Speshul shit up, ahahaha.
Anywho, then Smokey is killing some Germans and looking rather pleased with himself. SMOKEY IS SO BADASS, HE HAS A SMOKING GUN. DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE? DID YOU? He's so much fun, ngl. LOOK AT HIS FACE.
And then we have this Shifty scene, WHICH I LOVE. He's being all super-stealth and dead-eye Dick and killing all the snipers with one shot,
And then he's screaming like a little girl as the chickens go flying everywhere and he's kind of mid-flail and this scene just makes me lol endlessly, and I like to pretend he's afraid of the chickens instead of the bullets ahahahaha
Because then he's all "IT'S UNDER CONTROL. CHICKEN THREAT NEUTRALISED" ♥
And then Donnie almost gets his nuts blown off, and Tab's like "ALL PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR, DONNIE!!!" and I notch another one up for the gorgeous tally.
And Smokey's in hospital, looking fly, having fun, and receiving his bajillionth Purple Heart, and he's so QT with his hair all combed ♥
AND THEN WE GET THE EPICALLY LULZY TALE OF THE NIGHT OF THE BAYONET ♥ ♥ ♥
OK, I've got to quote it. ALL. Imagine Smokey delivering it in his lulzy voice
The night was filled with dark and cold,
When Sergeant Talbert the story's told,
Pulled out his poncho and headed out,
To check the lines dressed like a Kraut,
Upon a trooper our hero came,
Fast asleep he called his name,
"Smith! O Smith! Get up it's time
To take your turn out on the line",
And Private Smith so very weary
Cracked open an eye all red and bleary,
grabbed his rifle he did not tarry,
Hearing Floyd but seeing Jerry,
"It's me!" cried Tab, "Don't do it!" and yet
Smith charged tout de suite with bayonet
He lunged, he thrust, both high and low,
And skewered the boy from Kokomo
And as they carried him away
Our punctured hero was heard to say,
When in this war you venture out,
Best never do it dressed as a Kraut!
I love this scene sfm.
And how could you not love Smokey? He's just so much FUNNNN
He's like this little imp, popping up over Donnie's shoulder ROTFLMAO
So then they head back over again and Tab samples the local customs, but tbh I just included this cap for RL!Babe in the foreground :)
And then Tab GETS A DOG and I die because MAN + DOG + TAB'S ARSE = :DDDD
But when Tab plays soldier he is EPICALLY HOT AND UN-SPESHUL. I think it's the assertiveness and the dirtiness.
And not to mention that the colouring in 'Crossroads' makes EVERYONE look fucking hot.
And Tab does quite a bit of mouth work in this scene. First the water canteen,
And then the damn lip tugging. AGAIN. Unf. 'Gorgeous' is just racking up the points, now.
Then we get to the Doc Roe extravaganza Bastogne, and Smokey's totally flirting with Eugene over his sizzuhs,
And we see a) DOC ROE TONGUE!PR0N, OMG, and b) DOC ROE ALMOST SMILING AT SOMEONE WHO ISN'T BAAAAAAAAAAAAABE
And we are kind of in love with Smokey and his delicious helmet coffee, because IF DOC ROE LOVES SOMEONE THEN WE MUST ALSO LOVE THEM.
And I love that Smokey's always making coffee, he'd totally open up a Bastogne Starbucks,
IF HE HADN'T GOTTEN SHOT D:
Incidentally, I was putting this spam together and I realised I had no idea what actually happened to Smokey after he was evacuated, and if he even survived, so I went a-Googling, and found out that he died in 1997. That made me immeasurably happy :) because Smokey was fun and awesome. BYE SMOKEY!
Anyway, now we get more of super-stealthy Shifty,
And I love his mad sniper skillz. ALSO HE LOOKS V. HOT ALL DIRTY AND WITH THE WHITE HELMET, Y/Y?
And then in the church of immensely flattering lighting, I love that Shifty is the only one who is watching the choir. He's so goddamn adorable. Tab is just all emo, probably about Smokey :(
And then we get a super-special close-up of Shifty and his divine cheekbones, and.....excuse me for a moment. Ahem.
And then the 'Speshul' side of the equation notches up a few points, because Tab singing is just made of lulz, OMG
AND GUESS WHY I INCLUDED FOUR CAPS? DOC ROE. SINGING. Chew on that, ladies.
When they get to Austria, in the sunshine, everyone looks gorgeous again (AND HEY SKINNY, PULLING LULZY FACES AS PER USUAL), and Shifty looks like a ten-year-old who's just seen his first boob ahahahaha
But then they are marching through the woods,
And Shifty is all SUPER-STEALTHY MERCHANT OF DEATH
Except that he totally isn't. Because he doesn't shoot the deer. But, quite seriously, all I can look at in this scene is how sensible his hair is ♥, bless him.
AND THEN ASHKASDAG;HSDKGA;DSHAJKG;DSA WE GET THE SHIFTY SQUEEEEEEEE
Followed by Shifty, Grant and Christenson sharing a frame, which causes ME to squee and spontaneously combust.
And then Shifty says goodbye to Winters to go and get terribly injured D: and it's a really gorgeous scene, because he's just so goood and proper and they both look really hot, heh. BYE SHIFTY!!!!
So we're left with Tab, looking a wee bit speshul again as he debates the morality of kicking that fuckwad replacement's arse,
And he looks a bit speshul AGAIN when he's in negotiating his position with Speirs, and I get a bit nervous because I don't want my final Tab scene to be a speshul one,
But thankfully the checklist rebalances itself in the final scene, where EVERYONE looks hot in their white shirts, but particularly Tab, who's so golden and gorgeous and smiley that I always get the warm and fuzzies from his bit.
And we finish with RL!Shifty, who is probably one of my favourite RL!BoBs, because he's so incredibly adorable with his accent, and I think he looks really, really young as well and AW.
The end.
LOL GUYS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I TYPED 'SHITTY' INSTEAD OF 'SHIFTY' DURING THIS PICSPAM. I HAD TO EDIT IT SO MANY TIMES, AHAHAHAHAHA
Part One (the epically fucked-up love of Webster and Liebgott)
Part Two (Speirs, the badassest badass to ever badass)
Part Three (Christenson and Grant, hot but criminally underused)
Part Four (George Luzzzzzz and the giant slash debacle)
Part Five (Mr CAPSLOCK Band of Brothers, Gonorrhoea)
Part Six (OMG THAT'S THE TRICKSTER FROM SPN AND THE GINGER ONE FROM ER!! And someone else)
Part Seven (ADMIT POPEYE IS ADORABLE OR MIGUEL ALVAREZ WILL CUT A BITCH MMKAY?)
Part Eight (Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe)
OK guys, because it's holiday time (yay!) I'm going to try to churn out another one before next weekend. I'm thinking of pulling out the big guns....Harry Welsh. Just in time for Christmas. He's just so damn festive and jolly, ahahahaha. THINK OF IT AS A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR YOU ALL ♥
And I was bored and changed my profile layout. It now has Tintin in it, ahahaha. I think I'm going to change my journal layout as well, maybe some BSG in preparation for January....or GK....or BoB. Heh.