when will i feel happy again? 
i don't even laugh the same anymore. 

I was just looking for my old transcripts and recommendations from high school and the only thing I found in my mothers filing cabinet was a HUGE folder with all of my old medical records in it. Its a little strange to see your entire medical history in one folder. Especially, now that I'm almost 20, my body is probably slowly failing and I will ( Read more... )

one of my roommates left the gas on, on purpose in my apartment last night.
the stove is right outside of my door. i woke up light headed.

i can't wait till she moves out. 

i'm not sure if its the fact that i've been up for more than 24 hours, or that i just watched the sun rise for the first time in a long time and feel like i'm getting like how i get this time of year.
i don't know how to explain the way that everything is right now.
i have no idea where i'm going, what i'm doing or what my life will be like, even a ( Read more... )

i have really been struggling with the fact that i'm turning 20 this july. not only that but i've been having a hard time dealing with how old my mom is. she turned 55 in October. 55. that means she's more than half dead. i don't know what i'm going to do with myself when she's gone. i think of how she feels, her mom is gone now. i just think about ( Read more... )

another strange dream....

I was with some people that were my sisters, but physically they weren't my sisters. I have no younger sisters, nor did they look anything like me. One of them had golden blonde hair that was in two plaits, the other was a brunette with rosy cheeks. We were on a train, and there were these three train conductors that were ( Read more... )

i'm drinking ginger peach tea with peach schnapps in the public library.
i think my life has hit an all time low. 

i had such a weird dream last night...

for some reason i was walking down the middle of a street with heavy traffic, and some older man... probably late twenties... who was attractive gave me the nod, or whatever they do. i remember being surprised by this, even in my dream. usually only when i get hit on its by old men or people who are ( Read more... )

my bike got stolen this week.
i got in an accident on the bike that has since been stolen, was almost hit by a car.
i'm having a bad week. i miss my mom. 
you know that feeling in the back of your throat that just makes you feel like either vomiting or crying, or both...
well thats about me right now

DRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMAAA. 

it doesn't feel like summer yet.