spn fic // five hells dean winchester didn't end up in [sam/dean, r]
title: Five Hells Dean Winchester didn't end up in
author: crooked
pairing(s): Sam/Dean
rating: R
word count: 550
summary:The clock strikes midnight, and Dean only has one destination. These are the five Hells not awaiting him on the other side.
disclaimer: Not mine.
a/n: as requested by quarterturn for the Five Times meme.
five hells dean winchester didn't end up in
01. The one Hell in which he is surrounded by large-breasted women in tiny schoolgirl outfits. At first, Dean thinks he took the wrong elevator, and somehow ended upstairs in the most glaring technicality ever. But then he realizes that he doesn't actually care. The grand realization comes the moment two of the chicks start to undress him for his bath. And they get undressed too. Yeah, why was he so desperate to avoid this place before?
02. The one Hell in which he has to watch the Impala die so many hideous deaths, over and over and over again. Dean's already been through enough in his short life. He doesn't need to watch a two-ton steel beam being dropped on top of his baby, her roof caving in and windows shattering out. No man should ever have to endure that. But all he can do is sit and watch as hellhounds are set loose on her, claws doing more damage to the paint job and interior than they did to Dean. Every time she reappears before his eyes, pristine and in cherry condition, his heart skips a beat (well, it would if it still was beating). Then it happens all over again.
03. The one Hell in which Led Zeppelin, Metallica, or any of the greats don't exist. It's nothing but the Sam Winchester Playlist of Emo-Pop Shit, and Dean imagines this is one of the very lowest circles of hell. He hopes that Sam and Bobby are trying to work something out because if has to spend even one more minute listening to some asshole in eyeliner whine about his Daddy issues... Though, he has to admit that the irony isn't lost on him.
04. The one Hell in which he's an accountant who drives a mini-van. Mini-van. There is nothing else to be said about this. (Except, you know, mini-fucking-van.)
05. The one Hell in which Sam's fucking him. Now, this in and of itself does not make for a bad way to spend eternal damnation. It's not like it's the first time this has happened. But it's the first time it's happened like this. Just as Sam's really getting into it, biting at the back of Dean's shoulder as Dean arches and twists his fingers into the sheets, something changes and it's not Sam anymore. Not really, anyway. Eyes blink, turn completely black, that fucking smirk he flashed all those many months ago at Bobby's place is back, and the Yellow-Eyed Demon's voice comes out of Sam's mouth.
"He never needed you the way you needed him. You were just an easy fuck," he snarls, and Dean tries to twist out of his hold. But he's gone a moment later, and Sam is back, moaning Dean's name against his ear. Dean just lays there beneath him, lets him finish, and curls up on his side when Sam slings his arm over him. He knows it's just that fucking bastard getting his revenge but something in the back of Dean's mind can't help but wonder how much truth there is to it.
And the part that gets to Dean the most is that he'll never really know.
author: crooked
pairing(s): Sam/Dean
rating: R
word count: 550
summary:The clock strikes midnight, and Dean only has one destination. These are the five Hells not awaiting him on the other side.
disclaimer: Not mine.
a/n: as requested by quarterturn for the Five Times meme.
five hells dean winchester didn't end up in
01. The one Hell in which he is surrounded by large-breasted women in tiny schoolgirl outfits. At first, Dean thinks he took the wrong elevator, and somehow ended upstairs in the most glaring technicality ever. But then he realizes that he doesn't actually care. The grand realization comes the moment two of the chicks start to undress him for his bath. And they get undressed too. Yeah, why was he so desperate to avoid this place before?
02. The one Hell in which he has to watch the Impala die so many hideous deaths, over and over and over again. Dean's already been through enough in his short life. He doesn't need to watch a two-ton steel beam being dropped on top of his baby, her roof caving in and windows shattering out. No man should ever have to endure that. But all he can do is sit and watch as hellhounds are set loose on her, claws doing more damage to the paint job and interior than they did to Dean. Every time she reappears before his eyes, pristine and in cherry condition, his heart skips a beat (well, it would if it still was beating). Then it happens all over again.
03. The one Hell in which Led Zeppelin, Metallica, or any of the greats don't exist. It's nothing but the Sam Winchester Playlist of Emo-Pop Shit, and Dean imagines this is one of the very lowest circles of hell. He hopes that Sam and Bobby are trying to work something out because if has to spend even one more minute listening to some asshole in eyeliner whine about his Daddy issues... Though, he has to admit that the irony isn't lost on him.
04. The one Hell in which he's an accountant who drives a mini-van. Mini-van. There is nothing else to be said about this. (Except, you know, mini-fucking-van.)
05. The one Hell in which Sam's fucking him. Now, this in and of itself does not make for a bad way to spend eternal damnation. It's not like it's the first time this has happened. But it's the first time it's happened like this. Just as Sam's really getting into it, biting at the back of Dean's shoulder as Dean arches and twists his fingers into the sheets, something changes and it's not Sam anymore. Not really, anyway. Eyes blink, turn completely black, that fucking smirk he flashed all those many months ago at Bobby's place is back, and the Yellow-Eyed Demon's voice comes out of Sam's mouth.
"He never needed you the way you needed him. You were just an easy fuck," he snarls, and Dean tries to twist out of his hold. But he's gone a moment later, and Sam is back, moaning Dean's name against his ear. Dean just lays there beneath him, lets him finish, and curls up on his side when Sam slings his arm over him. He knows it's just that fucking bastard getting his revenge but something in the back of Dean's mind can't help but wonder how much truth there is to it.
And the part that gets to Dean the most is that he'll never really know.