A question of home

[cross_fortune]

Katsuya's apartment, a complete mess from police raids months before, only reminds Jun again of his sins. How he'd manipulated the police force in an attempt to take Katsuya, the other person he knew was important to Tatsuya, and to kill him or break him. Facing Katsuya might be harder than facing his other again

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[other_boy]

Tatsuya had paid little attention to the broken pieces of what was the material history of his brother's life. He himself kept few possession, not in the main rooms anyway, and what things he did have were of not importance compared to the immaterial. Jun was here, and he would sleep on a bed of nails if that was what it took to keep it that way.

Everything had felt heavy, last night. Breathing. His shoes, as he'd kicked them off. Tatsuya had taken care of Jun first, laying him down on the first open space he saw (the couch had been ripped apart and then flipped over) and soon joined him in exhausted rest.

After a time, his sleeping body thought it was a good idea to wake up. He could hear a small sequence of sounds on the edge of perception, eventually identified as 'I'm trying to be quiet'. He smiled, knowing who was making those little hushed noises, as the space next to him was now colder than it had been last night.

[cross_fortune]

An armload of broken glass carefully handled by a piece cloth, presumably one of Katsuya's old kitchen towels, gets shuffled carefully to a garbage can, where Jun sets it in there as quietly as the tinkling shards would allow before righting himself again. His balance is shaky, and he has to lean on the wall a second, but Jun is getting the hang of himself again, at least a little.

He walks by Tatsuya, carefully stepping over the other's long legs and continues cleaning up. Tatsuya's room, Jun decided, should be fixed first. Since well, here they were.

[other_boy]

Unlike some, Tatsuya takes time to think before making it known that his consciousness has returned. This would be the first time that Jun has had time to simply be with himself, to hear his own thoughts and make his own decisions since being freed. Everyone needs alone-time, and Tatsuya didn't think he would feel good if he left Jun really alone in the near future. At least in this state, the illusion was there.

Tatsuya listened to the sound of glass and wondered what had been broken. Rather, of everything that had been broken, where exactly those particular pieces of glass had come from.

When he hears the door to his room move wider to allow the passage of a human being, Tatsuya finally opens his eyes. While Jun is busy in there, he could wake up properly. A little stretching...god, this is soreness. Everything ached, right down to the flat of his feet. He'd stepped on something that had burned even through his shoes, poison or gas or smoldering fire, he didn't know exactly

[cross_fortune]

Seeing Tatsuya's bed ripped apart and up against the wall, Jun worries his lip a moment before deciding that this was business he could handle quietly on his own. He picks up the mattress, his shoulder on fire in pain, and starts scooting it back to where it had been before

[other_boy]

The intensity of Jun's reaction was startling. Tatsuya stared, wide-eyed, regretting his choice of words. It made it sound like he was trying to punish Jun by leaving him. That wasn't the point at all! Shit.

"No, that's not what I meant..." Tatsuya found it hard to speak, like something was pulling his thoughts apart before they could reach his mouth. "You don't need me. You'll recover." That wasn't everything he needed to say, was it? It wasn't fair that he'd left, it wasn't fair that Jun had been gone when he came back, and now he was thinking it would be better if they had some time apart...but he didn't believe it. Tatsuya was remembering some quack's advice or some mistaken ideal of what kind of independance made a man, and it was a mistake he didn't fully recognize.

[cross_fortune]

"...Don't..need you..?" He was losing him again..wasn't he? It was the same thing he'd said before, though not as kindly as now. Jun feels the uprising of emotion again, and wonders if he would have the chance to wait until Tatsuya was ready to hear what he had to say.

Jun is used to knowing what Tatsuya is saying, even when the other doesn't say a word. He's used to translating the '....' that comes from the other's mind. But somewhere along the line, he'd stopped being able to do so. He wants to say something, something he's been sitting on for a long, long time, but again, the words won't come.

He doesn't let go of Tatsuya's pant leg. Finally, in a quiet voice, he answers. "...Let me decide what...who I need, Tatsuya...please? I don't want to be alone anymore..."

[other_boy]

The problem was, Tatsuya wasn't sure if Jun could decide that yet. This felt like a re-birth for him, and Tatsuya didn't want to get in the way. He would screw everything up like he always did. It would be unfair to take away Jun's chance at the new beginning...

It hurt to have these thoughts. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want Jun to let go. Yet still, he thought that Jun should. Tatsuya was afraid he would become another puppeteer, influencing him...if not outright controlling him through his needy, fragile emotions

[cross_fortune]

Those words killed any urges Jun had to say what was on the tip of his tongue; the lines had been drawn and what he wanted had become impossible to be communicated. That's right. Tatsuya...didn't have anything else to offer Jun.

He should have known. But that was okay, right? Jun gets up slowly, letting go of Tatsuya and going back to cleaning in an empty, mindless sort of way. If he could just force a smile...but he wouldn't, couldn't lie to Tatsuya anymore.

"You've given me more than I deserve." Jun agrees, and looks back with a nod. "But you don't have to go anywhere. ....Besides, I'll need your help to fix Katsuya-san's home.." He could do this. He owed it to Tatsuya to do this. If Tatsuya didn't want Jun leaning on him...Jun would have to respect it.

[other_boy]

Tatsuya almost rolls his eyes, but refrains somehow. That look, that 'Aren't I sweet?' look he had seen in battle several times before...at least it wasn't as fake as the smiles the Joker gave. This was a Jun-flavored fakeness that had become an acquired taste.

He took the quiet moment to reflect on what had happened. Would he ever have to fight so hard again? It seemed like all he did was fight...and hurt Jun in the process. Well, certainly he could do something...?

There should be a first-aid box in the hall, if he remembered correctly. Little details that Katsuya was so specific about sometimes eluded him. Still, he checked, and there the box was, or at least its contents. Tatsuya scooped a few things that were useful for the sorts of injuries he knew Jun would still have, and went back to...the thing about bathroom doors being ajar, and being the sort of person who is used to being attacked, is that a flash of movement will draw the eyes even though Tatsuya is fully aware that the likelihood of attack here is slim, etc, etc

[cross_fortune]

The good news to Jun is that he isn't bleeding anywhere anymore...mostly. The bad news? Jun touches his fingers to his shoulder, wincing immediately. He had no idea how bad his shoulder was, only that it hurt, and a lot. And so carefully, slowly, Jun takes his time cleaning up. It was better to simply enjoy the peace and relative soothing effect of the shower while he could, before tackling the big bad world outside the steamed up cozy bathroom again

[other_boy]

"You're hurt," he replies. The unspoken part was that he had done it. It had been necessary at the time... To put aside feelings and fight had been hard. Funny, you have to hurt someone to help them...isn't that always how it goes? Two things, on opposite sides, necessary for the greater good.

Jun looked ridiculous wearing those clothes. He'd seen that kind of 'look' before, but it never failed to be silly. He didn't smile, because the looseness only served to accentuate how thin Jun was now. He could even see bruising.

"Here... It would be bad if you got an infection." Tatsuya gestured for him to come a little closer then ripped open one of the sterilized packages.

[cross_fortune]

"You should be too..." Jun points out, moving a bit closer and looking guilty again. He had been the one responsible for that, after all. Had to have been, although by that point Jun hadn't really been there at all. Several times, the boy was sure he had died.

If Jun seems to mind wearing these oversized garments, he doesn't show it. Rather, he tugs the off the sweatshirt and lets Tatsuya get a good look at his shoulder. He shivers at the sudden cold, and hugs the shirt to his pale skin in an attempt to keep part of him warm at least.

"Have you...looked at yourself yet?" If it was infections they were worrying about, Jun would insist on making sure Tatsuya was alright too.