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kimberly_tries March 7 2011, 18:30:23 UTC
urgh, ill. Lying here is my sick bed dirty stained long johns watching masterchef and thinking I am 'quite good' at lots of things but utterly average at everything. Sparks of good and the feeling of 'potential' i'm impatient. I want everything now but my brain and body are too weak. A grotesque combination. Lack lustre 'performance art', dislike of those you're supposed to respect (masked envy?) weird prescribed anti depressents stomach cramps head ache and massive lazy MOVE. coughing gobs of brown everyone growing up, everyone succeeding. The stench of failiure is rank in the air. Too much coffee, hypertension. Lies. Rotting fruit on my table. Bits of dried blood. a toe nail. yr so wacky. will i feel like an imposter forever. will i ever care about the things i pretend to. will i ever stop being a whiney little bitch

i loved this.
the honesty.
& can relate.
so i'd feel lousy telling you to shuttup.

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croupier_zoom March 10 2011, 12:22:12 UTC
help a brother out. getting too wrapped up in oneself is a curse!

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croupier_zoom March 10 2011, 12:20:31 UTC
thanks! i have mixed feelings. it is the first time i have tried to make something 'look like art' which smacks of ego, but i liked the moon video and the process of making it. it was romantic, you're right

maybe it would have been better with a decanter of wine and some candles

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