that is such bullcrap! How insensitive of people. First off, that is YOUR news to share and 2ndly, to rub it in the face of someone struggling.. just ugh!
I don't think it was intentionally rubbing it in, but really. To think that I wouldn't tell my best friend before posting publicly? No, only a handful of family members knew before she did. I did my best to prepare her for this, but there's only so much that can be done. The rest lies with other people. I can only hope that people have tact from here on out.
I still feel so bad for her. I mean I don't want kids but I fully understand how hurtful it can be to see people (even people you love) being blessed with something you really want for yourself. Sometimes it's the best meaning people who hurt you the most.
Carissa.. You probably know me by now and know that I have very little patience for some types of behavior that adults exhibit.. But you know you should not have to walk on eggshells announcing your pregnancy. As you said, it's a wonderful thing and if you want to shout from the rooftops, more power to you!!
While I do feel sympathy for those that are having issues with infertility, you in no way should be precluded from your joy because of their situation. If they're giving you shit for it, it's really saying something about them, not you. A real friend would not approach you and tell you to cut back on the sharing. I think it's incredibly selfish.
I guess that's just me tho. I have little patience for that type of behavior. You're definitely more sympathetic than I am. But just know that your not doing anything wrong. Enjoy all you want!!
Don't get me wrong, we are definitely celebrating. It's just that there are times and places where it is appropriate and to be courteous of the feelings of a very dear friend of mine - among other reasons - I'm just not going to be updating a lot in public view. No one has been coercing me into keeping it this way; in fact, my family life is fairly private and as such I don't feel the need to broadcast it. I made a joyful post in my last post, and the Facebook post was certainly full of excitement, it's just that some folks may not be aware that bringing up the subject to some other mutual friends might just be like rubbing salt in a wound
( ... )
Nobody told Carissa to cut back on the sharing, and nobody is giving her shit for it. The request is that OTHER people not go up to someone else who has openly said they're struggling with this issue and be all, "OMG, did you hear Carissa's news?!?" That's just incredibly insensitive and tactless. I know you didn't do this either; I'm just saying.
Yeah, it's like I just said, no one's coercing me into what I can and cannot share. My private life is exactly that: private.
You know that, because of how close I am with you & your wife, this is something that I decided to filter on my own, because the friendship I have with you both is incredibly important to me, and I want you guys to continue to feel comfortable with us despite these circumstances.
I know that you guys are celebrating with us, despite the pain. I just want to do what I can to keep that pain to a minimum, until you guys have been blessed with your desires. <3
been on both sides of the coinpocket_entropyMarch 29 2012, 23:30:19 UTC
As someone who struggled with infertility for years before finally becoming pregnant, I just wanna say thank you for making sure to take your friends' feelings into consideration, but also don't feel that you have to walk on eggshells around your infertile friends. <3
Re: been on both sides of the coincrssafoxMarch 29 2012, 23:35:31 UTC
Thanks, Candy. <3 While I may not have had to deal with infertility, I did have to deal with friends and family having kids when we were not yet ready, and when you want to welcome a baby but you can't, for whatever reason, it can be a rough emotional ride.
My close friend and I are still sorting out feelings and, in a way, boundaries that she feels comfortable with. I cherish my friends more than I want to update strangers via LJ about every new preggo symptom, so it's a "sacrifice" I'm willing to make, because it's not much of a sacrifice at all.
That said, you're another person that I would add to my prego filter if you want on, but I did not add you to it before because I knew you guys were trying again and didn't want to conflict with emotions. (Which, emotions can totally suck, by the way...) It's a safe filter with just a small handful of folks, so if you'd like added, just say the word. <3
Comments 15
Reply
Reply
Reply
My heart goes out to her as well, I wish more children were born to folks like them that where that child would be loved and wanted.
Reply
While I do feel sympathy for those that are having issues with infertility, you in no way should be precluded from your joy
because of their situation. If they're giving you shit for it, it's really saying something about them, not you. A real friend would not approach you and tell you to cut back on the sharing. I think it's incredibly selfish.
I guess that's just me tho. I have little patience for that type of behavior. You're definitely more sympathetic than I am. But just know that your not doing anything wrong. Enjoy all you want!!
Reply
Reply
Reply
You know that, because of how close I am with you & your wife, this is something that I decided to filter on my own, because the friendship I have with you both is incredibly important to me, and I want you guys to continue to feel comfortable with us despite these circumstances.
I know that you guys are celebrating with us, despite the pain. I just want to do what I can to keep that pain to a minimum, until you guys have been blessed with your desires. <3
Reply
As someone who struggled with infertility for years before finally becoming pregnant, I just wanna say thank you for making sure to take your friends' feelings into consideration, but also don't feel that you have to walk on eggshells around your infertile friends. <3
Reply
My close friend and I are still sorting out feelings and, in a way, boundaries that she feels comfortable with. I cherish my friends more than I want to update strangers via LJ about every new preggo symptom, so it's a "sacrifice" I'm willing to make, because it's not much of a sacrifice at all.
That said, you're another person that I would add to my prego filter if you want on, but I did not add you to it before because I knew you guys were trying again and didn't want to conflict with emotions. (Which, emotions can totally suck, by the way...) It's a safe filter with just a small handful of folks, so if you'd like added, just say the word. <3
Reply
I would love to be added :)
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment