The wave of time falls upon me, and I am unable to stay still...
And so I move with time, as it compells me to.
This is a repost of a private post from last night
I have realised that, as time goes by, we seem to "close" chapters of our lives. But, seriously, do we really close them? Are there not certain situations, certain memories, where you reopen that chapter and relive it as if it was yesterday, even though the person is not there with to you physically recreate it?
Well, I am closing and forgetting a part of my life that I can dare say is my only regret. It is how I choose my friends. I realise that, since I am older, I can pick and choose my friends more easily now instead of reaching out for the nearest warm body and friendly smile and call them my friend. I used to think that I had lots of friends. But now, only a handful. Sure, there are people that I know, people that I am aquainted with, but as Father Time continues his ever descending walk down a path that leads to death, I need to carefully reconsider who these people are, and just who are my friends.
And just like Father Time, a rebirth of sorts will take shape. I will severe ties to those whom I felt betrayed by, those who I do not converse with often enough, those I do not have any fond memory of. If that is how we were, then you obviously didn't try to be my friend, nor even tried to get to know me to see if you wanted to be my friend. We just didn't mesh well, like me and those I trust, and I hope that you don't take it the wrong way that I am doing this.
My life is too cluttered to have to worry about more people than I need to. Yes, there are some of you who I am severing ties to that I DO have fond memories of, but, as I have said, we do not converse often enough for you to matter to me at this time.
Perhaps, as time goes by, we can start afresh, and write a new chapter together, and perhaps finish that one the way it was intended. I just simply cannot do it at this point in my life. I am eager to move on, try something new, and live with the happy memories that I ahve so longed supressed from my mind's eye. Know that I learned from each and every one of you, and that you all meant SOMETHING to me, and that hearing your name will invoke some sort of reaction from me, be it hate, anger, happiness, or sadness.
I just cannot live my life the way I want to right now knowing that there are friendships out there that must end for the time being (and maybe permanently) that I am grudgingly holding onto for some reason or another. I have the knife, I cut the strings.
If I have defriended you, please, do the same for me and defriend me as well. Do not take it the wrong way, just know that I, personally, cannot maintain what little relationship we have at this point in time. When the time comes and I am willing to take the extra mile and rekindle our friendship, know that I am past what I need to do in order to become who I truly am, and that I am ready and willing to accept you back into my tightly closed circle. At that point in time, you have every right to slap me in the face and tell me to go to hell, and I will accept it, and know that perhaps, our friendship would be better off not existing.
I'm sorry about this, but, it is neccessary for me to move on. May the Goddess bless you and give you all that you desire.
This is a repost of a private post from last night
I have realised that, as time goes by, we seem to "close" chapters of our lives. But, seriously, do we really close them? Are there not certain situations, certain memories, where you reopen that chapter and relive it as if it was yesterday, even though the person is not there with to you physically recreate it?
Well, I am closing and forgetting a part of my life that I can dare say is my only regret. It is how I choose my friends. I realise that, since I am older, I can pick and choose my friends more easily now instead of reaching out for the nearest warm body and friendly smile and call them my friend. I used to think that I had lots of friends. But now, only a handful. Sure, there are people that I know, people that I am aquainted with, but as Father Time continues his ever descending walk down a path that leads to death, I need to carefully reconsider who these people are, and just who are my friends.
And just like Father Time, a rebirth of sorts will take shape. I will severe ties to those whom I felt betrayed by, those who I do not converse with often enough, those I do not have any fond memory of. If that is how we were, then you obviously didn't try to be my friend, nor even tried to get to know me to see if you wanted to be my friend. We just didn't mesh well, like me and those I trust, and I hope that you don't take it the wrong way that I am doing this.
My life is too cluttered to have to worry about more people than I need to. Yes, there are some of you who I am severing ties to that I DO have fond memories of, but, as I have said, we do not converse often enough for you to matter to me at this time.
Perhaps, as time goes by, we can start afresh, and write a new chapter together, and perhaps finish that one the way it was intended. I just simply cannot do it at this point in my life. I am eager to move on, try something new, and live with the happy memories that I ahve so longed supressed from my mind's eye. Know that I learned from each and every one of you, and that you all meant SOMETHING to me, and that hearing your name will invoke some sort of reaction from me, be it hate, anger, happiness, or sadness.
I just cannot live my life the way I want to right now knowing that there are friendships out there that must end for the time being (and maybe permanently) that I am grudgingly holding onto for some reason or another. I have the knife, I cut the strings.
If I have defriended you, please, do the same for me and defriend me as well. Do not take it the wrong way, just know that I, personally, cannot maintain what little relationship we have at this point in time. When the time comes and I am willing to take the extra mile and rekindle our friendship, know that I am past what I need to do in order to become who I truly am, and that I am ready and willing to accept you back into my tightly closed circle. At that point in time, you have every right to slap me in the face and tell me to go to hell, and I will accept it, and know that perhaps, our friendship would be better off not existing.
I'm sorry about this, but, it is neccessary for me to move on. May the Goddess bless you and give you all that you desire.