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thanks everyone for the feedback on part 1. so now, it's on to part two!
The Adventures of Captain Jack Harkness
Part 2 - Cardiff and Time Rifts and Slaveen, Oh My!
Previously on Lost Doctor Who, OMG SPACESHIP LANDS IN LONDON! Icky Slaveen (who I think are a cross of praying mantises and the blob character from Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law. I'm trying to find a shot of it so you all can see what I'm talking about) try to take over by eating people and farting a lot and Mickey helps save the day.
When we first arrive, we see some dude talking to a lady...but OMG IT'S THE SLAVEEN LADY! OH NOES! EVERYTHING IS GOING TO GO TO SHIT AND SHE'S TAKING OFF HER HEAD!!
Oh look we're in Cardiff. So is Mickey. And the TARDIS crew! Mickey finds the TARDIS not so strategically placed in the middle of the Millenium Centre, and when he knocks on the door, he's greated by Jack, who's all WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GTFO!
Mickey is all "WOT? GTFO!"
Jack is like "why can't I have any" and the Doctor's like "buy me a drink first!" and Jack's all like "But that's too tough. Why don't we just shag?"
So then Mickey gets all protective of Rose and is all "Who's Jumping Jack Flash" and Jack's all "I'm hot. Problem with that?"
So then the three of them start rambling on about the rift and get a little bit TOO excited over it.
And here is where we take a time out. Doctor Who at this point in time should be happening around 2005, yes? Well, after everything happens with Jack and he has to re-live everything that just happened and finds himself back in Cardiff with Torchwood, shouldn't Torchwood!Jack have known that the TARDIS and the three of them (includes past!Jack) be sitting right over their underground base? How in the hell did he explain to his Torchwood team that he couldn't leave for a few days? Discuss.
Back to pictures...
And then Mickey says the best line ever. "What are you Captain of? The Innuendo Squad?"
Jack:
(PS what the hell is he wearing? It's 2005 Jack, not 1941.)
So fatty mcfatfat starts talking about her nuclear power station. Some reporter starts babbling about what she found about the plant, while fatty rips off her head. She gets ready to kill, the reporter mentions a boyfriend, that she's pregnant, and fatty starts crying. Wot?
Back in Cardiff, Jack is telling stories, which all we hear is "blah blah blah NAKED blah blah."
Jack knows how to make people laugh.
But then The Doctor sees that Fatty is the new Mayor of Cardiff and turns emo.
CUE BADASS MUSIC!
Once they get to the Mayor's office, Jack starts rambling on about the Slaveen and the plan of attack they should take.
Doctor is like "WOT?!" and Jack's like "Sorry Sir" and a million fan fics arise from that line.
They go with Jack's plan anyway, they arm their cellphones (WOT?) and are off.
So the Doctor sends the gopher to tell Fatty that he's there, she runs, they all run after her (except Mickey who's all "OMG").
A few flying leaps and Mickey messing up later, they think they've caught Fatty. Till she disappears. And they're all "WOT? THAT'S CHEATING!"
Then the Doctor and Fatty play a fun game of now you see me, now you don't. But they catch her and start talking about the power plant and the rift. Jack really likes to say "Rift in Space and Time."
So then the Doctor throws some shit to reveal something that looks like a space skateboard from Back To the Future II and Jack gets all kinds of giddy and uses big words with the Doctor. They're such geeks.
Ok it's aprently a "Pan-Dimensional Surfboard." I was close.
The Doctor says they're taking Fatty back to theplanetwiththereallybigname, Rose says the name right which makes her giddy, Fatty says she'll be killed the moment she gets back. Oh well!
Back in the TARDIS, Fatty is inside with them, making the Police box an actual police box, and Jack is somehow fusing the surfboard to the TARDIS so that the charge will be done by the morning. The Doctor also calls him "Big Fella'" Cue about a thousand more fan fics.
Fatty plays the "woe is me" card, Rose and Mickey have lovey dovey time, and the Doctor watches them walk away with a hint of jealousy in his voice.
Fatty then asks for a last meal. Surprise surprise.
But Jack has magical handcuffs so the Doctor can take her out! "Dinner and Bondage"
They go to the the resturant, which just happens to be the same one that DT, RTD, and whatshisface dined at in the most recent Confidential, while Jack is left all alone to play in the TARDIS.
He sort of bonds with it. I mean, seriously. Look at that face.
So the Doctor and Fatty have dinner, she guilt trips him up and down, and tries her damndest to kill him every second she gets. Rose and Mickey hang out, Rose babbles about her travels, and Mickey is aparently going out with someone else OH NOES!
Lots of boring blah blah blah. Wonder what Jack is up to in the TARDIS? Or I wonder if he's checking out Cardiff and accidently comes across Torchwood and that's how he gets involved. OOOOO THEORY!
Then SHIT GOES ESSPLODEY!! And Jack is inside OH NOES!
Then Fatty's all "HA HA HA GOT YOU" and snatches up Rose and the Doctor and Jack are like "Oh shit."
But then the heart of the TARDIS opens and Fatty is all "OOOOHHH SHINY!" and the TARDIS is all GTFO and Rose is all OMG JACK HALP ME and Jack is all HAY I HAS A WOMANZ!
And the heart of the TARDIS kills Fatty McFatFat and the Doctor starts barking out orders that Rose is all "WOT" over but Jack understands. WOT?
But they close the rift. Horray! Fatty, however, is not dead. Just turned into an egg.
Rose runs off to find emo!Mickey (but doesn't), comes back to the TARDIS and the Doctor is all "go find him" and Jack is all "PSSHHT WHATEVER"
And they head off to theplanetwiththereallylongname to drop off Fatty in her egg.
Next time on The Adventures of Captain Jack Harkness, it's NAKEY TIME!!!
All caps from here. Tomorrow's pic!spam will have BOTH Bad Wolf and The Parting of Ways so that Thursday and Friday can be Torchwood caps.
The Adventures of Captain Jack Harkness
Part 2 - Cardiff and Time Rifts and Slaveen, Oh My!
Previously on Lost Doctor Who, OMG SPACESHIP LANDS IN LONDON! Icky Slaveen (who I think are a cross of praying mantises and the blob character from Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law. I'm trying to find a shot of it so you all can see what I'm talking about) try to take over by eating people and farting a lot and Mickey helps save the day.
When we first arrive, we see some dude talking to a lady...but OMG IT'S THE SLAVEEN LADY! OH NOES! EVERYTHING IS GOING TO GO TO SHIT AND SHE'S TAKING OFF HER HEAD!!
Oh look we're in Cardiff. So is Mickey. And the TARDIS crew! Mickey finds the TARDIS not so strategically placed in the middle of the Millenium Centre, and when he knocks on the door, he's greated by Jack, who's all WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GTFO!
Mickey is all "WOT? GTFO!"
Jack is like "why can't I have any" and the Doctor's like "buy me a drink first!" and Jack's all like "But that's too tough. Why don't we just shag?"
So then Mickey gets all protective of Rose and is all "Who's Jumping Jack Flash" and Jack's all "I'm hot. Problem with that?"
So then the three of them start rambling on about the rift and get a little bit TOO excited over it.
And here is where we take a time out. Doctor Who at this point in time should be happening around 2005, yes? Well, after everything happens with Jack and he has to re-live everything that just happened and finds himself back in Cardiff with Torchwood, shouldn't Torchwood!Jack have known that the TARDIS and the three of them (includes past!Jack) be sitting right over their underground base? How in the hell did he explain to his Torchwood team that he couldn't leave for a few days? Discuss.
Back to pictures...
And then Mickey says the best line ever. "What are you Captain of? The Innuendo Squad?"
Jack:
(PS what the hell is he wearing? It's 2005 Jack, not 1941.)
So fatty mcfatfat starts talking about her nuclear power station. Some reporter starts babbling about what she found about the plant, while fatty rips off her head. She gets ready to kill, the reporter mentions a boyfriend, that she's pregnant, and fatty starts crying. Wot?
Back in Cardiff, Jack is telling stories, which all we hear is "blah blah blah NAKED blah blah."
Jack knows how to make people laugh.
But then The Doctor sees that Fatty is the new Mayor of Cardiff and turns emo.
CUE BADASS MUSIC!
Once they get to the Mayor's office, Jack starts rambling on about the Slaveen and the plan of attack they should take.
Doctor is like "WOT?!" and Jack's like "Sorry Sir" and a million fan fics arise from that line.
They go with Jack's plan anyway, they arm their cellphones (WOT?) and are off.
So the Doctor sends the gopher to tell Fatty that he's there, she runs, they all run after her (except Mickey who's all "OMG").
A few flying leaps and Mickey messing up later, they think they've caught Fatty. Till she disappears. And they're all "WOT? THAT'S CHEATING!"
Then the Doctor and Fatty play a fun game of now you see me, now you don't. But they catch her and start talking about the power plant and the rift. Jack really likes to say "Rift in Space and Time."
So then the Doctor throws some shit to reveal something that looks like a space skateboard from Back To the Future II and Jack gets all kinds of giddy and uses big words with the Doctor. They're such geeks.
Ok it's aprently a "Pan-Dimensional Surfboard." I was close.
The Doctor says they're taking Fatty back to theplanetwiththereallybigname, Rose says the name right which makes her giddy, Fatty says she'll be killed the moment she gets back. Oh well!
Back in the TARDIS, Fatty is inside with them, making the Police box an actual police box, and Jack is somehow fusing the surfboard to the TARDIS so that the charge will be done by the morning. The Doctor also calls him "Big Fella'" Cue about a thousand more fan fics.
Fatty plays the "woe is me" card, Rose and Mickey have lovey dovey time, and the Doctor watches them walk away with a hint of jealousy in his voice.
Fatty then asks for a last meal. Surprise surprise.
But Jack has magical handcuffs so the Doctor can take her out! "Dinner and Bondage"
They go to the the resturant, which just happens to be the same one that DT, RTD, and whatshisface dined at in the most recent Confidential, while Jack is left all alone to play in the TARDIS.
He sort of bonds with it. I mean, seriously. Look at that face.
So the Doctor and Fatty have dinner, she guilt trips him up and down, and tries her damndest to kill him every second she gets. Rose and Mickey hang out, Rose babbles about her travels, and Mickey is aparently going out with someone else OH NOES!
Lots of boring blah blah blah. Wonder what Jack is up to in the TARDIS? Or I wonder if he's checking out Cardiff and accidently comes across Torchwood and that's how he gets involved. OOOOO THEORY!
Then SHIT GOES ESSPLODEY!! And Jack is inside OH NOES!
Then Fatty's all "HA HA HA GOT YOU" and snatches up Rose and the Doctor and Jack are like "Oh shit."
But then the heart of the TARDIS opens and Fatty is all "OOOOHHH SHINY!" and the TARDIS is all GTFO and Rose is all OMG JACK HALP ME and Jack is all HAY I HAS A WOMANZ!
And the heart of the TARDIS kills Fatty McFatFat and the Doctor starts barking out orders that Rose is all "WOT" over but Jack understands. WOT?
But they close the rift. Horray! Fatty, however, is not dead. Just turned into an egg.
Rose runs off to find emo!Mickey (but doesn't), comes back to the TARDIS and the Doctor is all "go find him" and Jack is all "PSSHHT WHATEVER"
And they head off to theplanetwiththereallylongname to drop off Fatty in her egg.
Next time on The Adventures of Captain Jack Harkness, it's NAKEY TIME!!!
All caps from here. Tomorrow's pic!spam will have BOTH Bad Wolf and The Parting of Ways so that Thursday and Friday can be Torchwood caps.