♋ PCG 8

[crusthatecean]

[Audio Hook]

[This is hardly the only phone call of its type Mayfield will hear today, but when Karkat's voice comes over the phone, he definitely doesn't sound all right. He sounds shaky and terrified, in fact, and his words lack most of the usual angry edge he gives them.]Oh shit. Okay. Hi

Comments

voice;

[cueballer]

Death normally fixes it, Mr. Vantas.

And, I'm a doctor.

[A Scratch doctor. But, who cares for specifics really?]

[crusthatecean]

Fuck you!

I'm not looking for a cryptic piece of shit who regularly places highly in World's Most Self Important But Ultimately Useless Douchebag Competitions and who I wouldn't trust if my fucking life depended on it.

I'm looking for a fucking actual doctor who fucking actually helps people!

[cueballer]

What? I'm being very honest about it. Death is the best solution, but if you don't prefer it I'll be glad to suggest something else.

...And for the record, I can be very helpful.

[crusthatecean]

Fine. Be helpful, then.

Pretend I'm not actually considering just letting him die because you think that's somehow a good solution. What's the second best solution we're working with, asshole?

voice; trololololo

[frogst]

[ Hi Karkat, guess who's on the other end of this phonecall??? ]

I bet I can help. Hehe, just tell me where you went!

[crusthatecean]

What do you even want?

I mean it, I will bite on this one, please tell me what the hell the world's most useless clown asshole possibly did to earn your murderous rage.

[frogst]

He broke the law, and so did you!

So once I kill-- oops!! I mean help, once I help you too, I'm going to help everyone else in Mayfield!

[crusthatecean]

Okay, let's pretend this is happening in a universe where you didn't just do a majestic swan dive off the deep end. What law?

[miraculls]

[Despite bleeding heavily from three different places on his torso and being quite obviously at least halfway to death, Gamzee looks pretty calm now that the immediate threat's been removed, all things considering. He even manages a weak and shaky smile, tilting his head back to rest against the wall.]

Hahaha, shit...sorry for up and putting you to all this motherfuckin' trouble, best friend....

[crusthatecean]

Shut the fuck up, I don't want to hear your ridiculous apologies right now.

Just hang on for a little while. You've wasted so many of my hours in this and other universes so you at least owe me that.

[miraculls]

Soooorry -- fuck, oops, hahaha...

If that be what you want, then I'll...all up and do my motherfuckin' best to try, bro...

[A deep breath and he winces a little, but that's good, pain is good, pain helps keep him awake, and he wants so badly to sleep right now, it'd be so easy just to close his eyes and slip off into a world with no pain--but Karkat asked him to hang on and so that's what he's going to do.]

[crusthatecean]

Okay. Good.

[Karkat's busy with the phone, anyway, but it doesn't seem like he's getting anywhere useful and he's starting to realize he might not find anyone who can help them.]

Not that much longer. We'll get you fixed right up, and then we'll figure out this mess with Jade.

[chaoschildofgod]

I'm a healer, if someone is injured.

[crusthatecean]

Finally, a helpful answer. Thank you, jegus fuck.

I'm at [address for the empty house]. He's really bad, so if you could come as fast as you can, that'd be great.

[chaoschildofgod]

Alright. Is there any danger still around that you're aware of?

[crusthatecean]

I don't know. There's danger around everywhere. There's still a shithive murderess out to get us, but I'm pretty sure we lost her.

Just come or don't. As fun as this conversation is, he's dying as we speak, so maybe it'd be better if you just made a call.