♋ PCG 19

[crusthatecean]

[Phone]

[Karkat is calling! He sounds a little shaky this time, and he speaks quickly, dropping the normal amount of too-long-didn't-listen ranting.]Okay, idiots, it's that fucking time again. My safe housing list for December is in the communication receptacle outside 1338 Benny Road, so come get an updated copy, or your first copy if you're new

Comments

... I should apologise in advance

[noluckduck]

Wow, who the hell put ya in charge of PR?

[crusthatecean]

I don't know what PR is, but I put myself in charge of doing this shit for the general good. If you'd rather bust your ass to keep this information updated, be my goddamn guest.

[noluckduck]

Hahah, wow. Public relations, you dipshit. People sure are gonna want to cooperate after an intro like that!

[crusthatecean]

I'm not from your fucking planet, idiot, I don't know your acronyms.

If my tone is so offensive that someone would rather not know how to save their own lives in order to express their problem with me, then I honestly don't care.

Filtered

[misterwwizard]

What's up, Kar?

If this is about those older trolls I'm likin' them so far...

Filtered

[crusthatecean]

It's not, but fuck you. If you expect me to consider you one of us, you'll respect my rules.

The reason behind my decision to swallow the bile that wells up in my protein chute every time I talk to you is that Sollux informed me that since the two of you apparently have some sort of pact involving both of you becoming matesprits since no one will ever pity either of you, he's been sharing personal information about me with you.

Filtered

[misterwwizard]

Kar Dolorosa is a great person an' I'll take that to the grave with me. She's got a comfortin' sort' a' aura around her. Like a mother or whatever this place is callin' those adult humans. She was acceptin' me even after I told her everythin' wrong I fuckin' did.

[translation: don't take away my mommy kar ;_;]

Matesprits? Kar you're a fuckin' funny one you know that? The thought a' me bein' matesprits with him is enough to make me hurl. I've got Fef for that an' our alliance is because Fef an' I are matesprits an' him an' her are moirails so we'd probably be seein' a lot a' each other. More for Fef's sake than ours.

I was just wonderin what was happenin' to him, that was all... I do feel responsible for makin' him... well... blind. Besides it's not like he was tellin' me your romantic aspirations an' all a' that.

[crusthatecean]

I didn't seriously think you were matesprits, fuckwit.

The point is, he told you about things that happen after Kanaya rearranges you to be less of an affront to our species. And I'm telling you to keep that information to yourself.

l33t h4xx0rd

[frogst]

[ aka living in the same house and now also having dog ears which I assume are fully functioning. good luck keeping anything ever a secret, also don't bring any dog whistles around.

Jade approaches, looking very son I am disappoint. ]

Hey.

[crusthatecean]

[Just looking grumpy and upset, he's just finished cancelling several of his friendship plans.]

What do you want?

[frogst]

What do you mean what? [ She can see he's upset, so it takes a little bite out of her words. ] Karkat, you know you can't do this.

[crusthatecean]

I can and will do whatever I think is best.

[Phone]

[grumpygumballs]

...So. Do I even want to know why safehouses are needed in...wherever we are?

[Phone]

[crusthatecean]

Yes. Okay, I'm not in charge of explaining shit to newcomers, I hate having to do that and I'm not really in the mood, so you should probably ask a housemate or something.

But the long and short of it is, about once a month something awful happens, and sometimes some of us die, and sometimes we need somewhere safe to hide.

[Phone]

[grumpygumballs]

Wonderful. Thanks kid, yeah. I'll just ask the crazy woman I woke up next to and the kids who think I'm their dad that insist I've always been here.

Oh. Great. Terrific. It's like I never left home.

[Phone]

[crusthatecean]

So fine, ask basically anyone but me.

[thug_disease]

Fuckass-san, Yamame will help you!

[crusthatecean]

I already told you I'm not putting your fucking house on there.

[thug_disease]

That's okay! Yamame will help fuckass-san in other ways too!

Fuckass-san always sounds so grumpy, so you should go out and play sometimes!

[crusthatecean]

I don't really feel like going out and playing right now, thanks.