♋ PCG 20

[crusthatecean]

[Action, 1338 Benny Road]

[Karkat wakes up unable to shake the memory of his dream. He has nightmares regularly, a combination of sleeping without a recuperacoon and everything he's been through since he began playing Sgrub. But something about this one felt more real and vivid and awful, and he remembers it more clearly

Comments

[wantasammich]

So this is what it's like to disappear? I was thinking something more... oh, I don't know, non-existent.

[crusthatecean]

It's a real let down, honestly.

[wantasammich]

It's just like existing, except everyone thinks I'm crazy, not the other way around.

That's what I get for listening to my mother, I suppose.

[crusthatecean]

Sorry, I don't understand that joke, cultural barriers. But your sarcastic displeasure is noted.

[phone; filtered]

[nosigntospeakof]

Yes?

[phone; filtered]

[crusthatecean]

Hi, I know I just seem like another creepy fake shitbag to you, but I'm so much more than that. I am your image in the reflective device sent through the ages so I can raise both my hands to you in a hearty fuck you salute.

What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

[phone; filtered]

[nosigntospeakof]

...You're my descendant.

[Under normal circumstances he'd be exuberant to find he even had a descendant. He'd ask questions, he'd ask him about his lusus, if he had a sign and tell him how happy he is to meet him.

But now's not the time for that. Even Signless knows that.]

This is about the list, isn't it?

[phone; filtered]

[crusthatecean]

No shit.

Seriously, are you just some asshole? Do you prioritize your insecurity over everything else?

Or are you just that gullible?

filtered;

[dreambubbly]

Cod, Karkat.

It's not like I can't listen to my lusus when she's whispering in my ear like she did all the coddamn time back home. I can't go "Gee, Bolly, that's great, but it's all bullshit!"

Besides, without me, the Condesce wouldn't have gone off, the Vast Glub wouldn't have happened, and there would still be a fucking Alternia to come back to. You know that and I know that.

[crusthatecean]

Alternia would have been destroyed whatever happened.

Don't give me any of this, I'm too busy pissing my pants with hot steaming ragefluid. How can any of you possibly think this is okay? How could you possibly believe that you could just be erased and we would all be all right with it?

[dreambubbly]

But the Glub wouldn't have fucking gone off. The Imperial Bitch would have found a way to get her to the horrorterrors like I couldn't.

Some prophecies are meant to come true. I saw you happy in the world without me. You all won your session and got your reward and when you were here...you were smiling. I've never seen you smile once in your entire coddamn life. But there you were.

There was everyone else, too. From home, from here.

It was the prophecy and it was meant to come true and I've known that since I was hatched.

[crusthatecean]

Feferi, whatever the source of my constant hatred for everything, I promise you it has nothing to do with your continued existence.

...Except that I don't want any of you to die or stop existing or whatever.

Anyway, I had the same dream. With you happy and me a non-existent sadsack, I mean.

[miraculls]

[After watching the news, Gamzee's first reaction is to look for Karkat. He doesn't really know what the guy was talking about with people not existing anymore or whatever, but he knows he heard Karkat's name in there, along with Tavros's and some of his other friends.]

[crusthatecean]

There you are. Look, I don't know what that was about, all right?

[He's lying, but he just wants this fucked up dream past him.]

[miraculls]

[He automatically turns at the voice, but his usual smile instantly vanishes as he jerks back from Karkat, looking as disturbed as he can get and even a little revolted.]

...who are you all supposed to be, motherfucker?

[crusthatecean]

Oh god.

[They didn't, did they? Make all of his friends forget him but fail to erase him, because he doesn't even know what to do if they won't remember who he is.]

Come on, space case. You know who I am. Karkat. You remember me, don't you?

[Phone]

[a1a100]

You fell for it too you know.

[crusthatecean]

Did I say I didn't?

This is different. I told you the other day, Sollux. I told you. No pointless self-sacrificing gestures, you're better than this.

[a1a1000]

[He stays quiet for a moment]

Whatever it's already too late, berating me about this is kind of pointless.

[crusthatecean]

It's not too late. We're still here, so there's still time to shove it down your gaping feed gullet that you can't do this shit.

Let me guess, just like they did for Feferi and just like they did for me, they told you that all of us would be better off without you, and you should disappear to save us?

Hey, guess what, without you we would have all died in a fiery apocalypse, and we would have all lost touch during the game, and we never would have been able to communicate with the humans which is and remains our only salvation, you stupid asshole. And then you apparently died to get us to the green sun while I stood around and fondled my shame globes or ate popped seed kernels or something equally useless.

[He sounds furious, but his tone abruptly calms.]I'm sorry I was such an asshole about you claiming to die, but I've already seen you die once, nearly twice, and surprise, I didn't want it to happen again