[fanfic] Loud Night - Silent Life. Chapter 1
Title: Loud Night - Silent Life. Chapter 1
Pairing: YooSu (later)
Genre: angst. drama.
Rating: PG-16
Words: 3 285
Length: chaptered -> Part 1 . Part 2 .
Warning: character death.
Summary: Something happens in that night. Something that changes Junsu's life forever. And with him it changes everything in the life of DBSK.
Thanks to: engbreakfast for betaing this chapter <33 thank you! you are really amazing!!
Disclaimer: Don't own DBSK. Just the plot is mine. ah and I don't own Junho too.
~
It was Saturday night when he couldn't fall asleep. The next day was a full schedule, like always, although it was the last day of the year.
Junsu grabbed his cell phone and looked at the display. It was 3 am and he didn't think he would get any more sleep for the rest of the night.
After a moment of hesitation he tumbled out of bed and got changed, grabbing his phone again and dialled the number of his twin brother.
"Junho?!"
His brother answered with a loud grumble, but he never disappointed Junsu.
"Let’s take a walk and talk for a bit. I can't sleep."
He didn't wait for an answer but just hung up.
He made his way through the dorm quietly and carefully, not wishing to wake up the other members,
He met his brother, who was still half asleep, a few streets away.
Junsu was relieved when he spotted Junho’s tall, wide figure. The sight of his brother always made him feel a little bit lighter, a little bit more relaxed. He couldn't help but always rely on Junho.
Junho was just a little bit upset, but this feeling was gone soon. He enjoyed every minute he could spend with his brother in between Junsu’s stressful schedule.
He was a little bit worried, because normally a simple phone talk would be enough to make Junsu calm down and let him fall asleep soon again.
Junho never asked for the reason why his brother was sleepless that often at night because he just knew he would never get an answer. And somehow he knew it already for himself.
A little smile appeared on his face. They talked a bit, walking through the night and now a comfortable silence stretched between them.
They passed a convenience store.
"I’ll buy us something."
Junho looked around and then his eyes settled on the opposite side of the street.
"Let’s sit over there! You go on ahead."
He smiled brightly, fully awake, and pointed to the other side. Junsu nodded and returned the smile, but said nothing. He sent him a last gaze as the older one walked in the store and turned around.
They have this kind of relationship where Junho was the hyung, the one who cares for him. Maybe this was one of the reasons why Junsu always came to him when he felt worried or tired of his life. When he would be the hyung or wouldn't see in his brother the older one, maybe then they wouldn't have this kind of relationship.
His smile deepened when his attention went to the other side of the street and he sat down. Junsu really enjoyed time with his brother and it was true what everyone said and thought. Nobody was closer to him than his twin. He couldn't imagine how it would be without him and he didn't want to think about it because it was impossible for him.
After a moment his eyes were aware of the figure coming out of the store. Junho waved a bit and smiled again when he saw how his brother returned it.
Junho’s eyes were fixed on him as he walked towards the street.
But that was his mistake. He just walked onto the street, unaware of anything but the smile on Junsu’s face..
It was still frozen on his face when the car appeared suddenly, the headlights flashing into his eyes and the eyes of his brother.
There was a loud noise, not a shrill crashing sound. It was dull, dull and heavy, but still loud and clear in his ears.
Junsu stared at his twin, how he was catapulted in the air with a loud scream which made him shudder.
The moment when the man’s weight impacted onto the ground caused a low echo.
Until this moment Junsu had just sat there and stared at his brother, the smile still in his face, but his eyes widened. His feelings weren't clear. He couldn't have said what he was feeling at this moment; if it was shock, fear or something else. He just stared at the scene in front of him, somehow numb inside.
Not until the driver rushed out of his car and to the injured man did Junsu stood up, in shock, and slowly crossed the street to Junho.
His mind was empty. What could he think at that moment? Neither logical nor feeling thoughts filled his head.
It was completely empty.
Only his muscles still worked, moving himself to the two men there on the street.
Junsu looked down on the body. It was deformed, blood flowing out frantically and nonstop from the many different but unrecognizable places.
The man who kneeled next to him had already dialled the emergency number and trying now to help somehow. When he was aware of the other man who came closer he looked up.
"Hey! Can you help me? Please. I don't know how this could happen. I am so sorry…"
He mumbled some more, but it was cut off from the scream which finally broke out of Junsu's throat.
He fell down next to Junho and clang to his body. Tears were floating down his cheeks while the scream slowly trailed away.
The whole incident had finally reached his mind and feelings. But it was too much. Not only could his mind not handle all the information but also of course his soul and heart too.
He was too full of feelings and thoughts, but he didn't care because his body moved on his own will, not able to be controlled by logic anymore because it was no longer intact.
The man looked at him, unsure about what he should do. It was obvious that the two knew each other, but he thought it was the best not to talk to the shocked man right now.
But before he could think any further about this, the doctors had arrived and rushed forward to the emergency scene to rescue the man Junsu had always relied on, trusted, and loved.
~
Junsu sat silently on the chair in the corridor of the hospital. His unseeing stare went straight through wall in front of him.
His ears noticed the low sound of footsteps on the floor, but it didn't really reach his brain.
His head didn't turn around when all four members of DBSK surrounded him and pulled him in a hug.
His head was completely empty aside from the pictures or better, the film which played over and over again. He couldn't help but watch it every time it was shown in his head, right in front of his eyes.
He couldn't see anything else than this. He couldn't feel anything else other than the emptiness which was left behind.
Just when warm and soft hands began to stroke his back and hair Junsu's eyes closed slowly and he relaxed a little bit.
This was his family, his other family. His brothers and friends whom he could trust. It was nothing compared to his twin, but it was a little bit of comfort and maybe this was enough for the moment. Maybe he didn't need anything more now because any more would have been too much.
~
It was six in the morning.
Junsu was still pulled in an embrace from Yoochun and Jaejoong. Changmin and Yunho sat next to the three.
Everyone was asleep, besides Yunho who watched his members silently and worried. He wasn't worried about their image as a group or their future as DBSK. The leader's thoughts were concentrated on the condition of his friends. Of course he was affected too, but he had learned to control such things better than the other four. He was anxious about how big the consequences would be. How much demolition could they bear until it would become too pain? Yunho was especially concerned about Junsu but he could do nothing about it. Nothing more than wait and comfort him as much as he could.
His head turned around as the doctor came towards them. More worry and anxiety reflected on his face as he watched the doctor.
"I am sorry…"
This was enough to know it.
Yunho just nodded and rubbed softly over Junsu's back, sighed quietly. Tears were about to come out, but he swallowed hard and carefully woke up his members.
Jaejoong was the first, who though his sleepy mood understood and tried to explain it to the others.
Junsu was the last one who was still asleep. His face looked relaxed but also exhausted and the marks of his tears were still visible.
Yoochun hesitated for a moment before he woke the other with a slight stroke over his cheek and soft pat on his shoulder.
"Junsu… wake up."
His voice was soft but it reached Junsu like a loud distracting noise and he jumped awake, straightened up and looked around. His gaze reached his friends, who looked at him with a worried and sad expression.
He shook his head and formed a soundless 'no' with his lips, but Yunho bit his lip and nodded.
This time his scream was soundless and inside himself. Nobody could hear but all four men knew it. They hugged each other and tried to comfort somehow themselves and Junsu.
He had lost his twin. The most precious person in his life.
And nobody, not even his friends who were like brothers to him, could help him. Could make this pain go away. He had to live with it, had to bear it until the pain would decrease more and more, though it was at this moment unbearable and unimaginable that it would get better sometime.
~
They went back to their apartment. The media and fans were crazy, screaming like hell and not wanting to let them rest just a little bit. But they managed with their manager and other staff members to get back safely and without too much disturbance.
All members were silent. They sneaked gazes to Junsu, who simply sat between Jaejoong and Yoochun, silent like the others but it was obvious that he still had a shock.
They arrived at their home and went upstairs. It was a moment of silence and everyone stood awkwardly in the corridor before Junsu made the first move. He took his shoes and jacket off and left to his room.
They all watched the sight of his departing back and sighed quietly. Again they exchanged worried looks and walked into the living room.
They knew Junsu well enough to know that they shouldn’t bother him right now. He needed some time alone.
So the four singers cuddled together on the couch, clutching onto the mugs of hot chocolate Jaejoong made.
Finally Yunho began to speak and tried to comfort his members a little bit. It wasn’t easy because there was nothing which could solace them.
But there was a beginning for a talk and they got the chance to share their feelings at least somewhat.
~
Meanwhile, Junsu lay down on his bed and stared at the wall to his right. First there was no sound until the soft voices of the others reached his ear.
He didn't cry or show any other emotion. His face was empty, almost dead. That’s was how he felt, if he could even feel anything.
But somehow his friends, his other family, managed to calm him down a little bit. It was not really help or solace, but it calmed him down. The calm and soft voices which weren't really next to him or directed to him.
But he felt them, he felt the feelings behind these voices and finally, his soul could find a little bit of peace.
He shut his eyes and sighed.
It was the first sound that came from him after hours.
~
Time passed by and his body relaxed more and more. But the emotions, sounds and pictures from the incident wouldn’t go away.
After hours the voices softened and it became completely quiet in the apartment.
Junsu turned around and faced the door. He almost expected to hear low footsteps and then someone opened the door.
But nothing happened and he rolled to the other side again.
His eyes were open but he couldn’t see clearly what was in the room, though it wasn’t dark. He was still just concentrating on his memories. He couldn’t let go of them.
Finally his body became heavier and heavier until Junsu felt the sleep coming over him. But he was afraid of it.
What if he dreamed of it?
Of course he would dream of it.
His eyes wandered to the door again, he couldn’t help it.
Finally the door opened and someone came to his bed.
Neither a smile nor an encouraging look met his eyes when he looked at his bandmate.
Yoochun stroke Junsu’s hair and sat next to him on the bed.
His eyes moved over his friend and a quiet sigh left his lips. He never thought he would see his best friend like this. Yoochun always liked the cheerful and happy side of Junsu. He liked to see him laughing, hearing his dolphin voice and the embarrassment that washed over him after he made a joke.
It hurt him to see the younger one like this.
He couldn’t just sit quietly like the others in the living room while Junsu was left behind alone here in his room. He had to do something so he came to try give his friend the least bit comfort he could.
“Junsu…”
His voice had its usual huskiness, but it was sad yet so soft that it almost broke Junsu’s heart again.
His hand moved on his own when he grabbed Yoochun’s arm and pulled him towards himself.
The older one almost fell onto Junsu but he held himself up and calmly lay down beside him.
He could tell that though his friend was very tired he didn’t want to fall asleep.
Still in silence he wrapped his arms around the broken man and pushed him lightly to his chest. With one hand, the blanket was covering them and Yoochun looked at Junsu’s face for the last time.
His eyes were still open, but he seemed a little bit more relaxed than before.
With another sigh, Junsu snuggled into the chest of his friend and grabbed with one hand his shirt. His body wanted to rest though his mind couldn’t. But maybe he could find just a tiny bit of peace from the sleep with the warm and caring arms around him.
Still Yoochun didn’t smile, but his gaze became softer and his fingers caressed Junsu’s tensed back.
He was relieved to see Junsu calming down a bit.
A light kiss was placed onto Junsu’s head and for a moment, it was as if Junsu was drawing his breath, then he was relieved to finally close his eyes.
Though it still took time until the breath of the younger one was calm and regular, Yoochun was thankful for it.
He looked at his friend and realized his own tiredness due to all the trouble and anxiety they had and still have.
After a while he fell asleep too, still holding Junsu in his arms and snuggling him lightly.
~
The next day Junsu woke up without Yoochun next to him. But when he raised his head he met the eyes of Jaejoong who smiled for a moment.
“Good morning, Junsu-ah. Breakfast is ready. We are all waiting for you.”
He smiled again, but it was obvious how worried he actually was.
Junsu nodded and slowly got up.
He said no word to his friends when he came into the kitchen, but they all just smiled a little bit, except for Yoochun, who nodded at him.
They ate in silence, everyone concentrated within their own thoughts.
Yunho was the first to talk after the table was cleared.
“I cancelled all meetings for the next days. We are free and can go wherever we want. We just have to call the manager.”
His look was mainly focused on Junsu, but he didn’t look back, just stared at the table in front of him.
The leader sighed and he stood up, catching Jaejoong’s gaze and nodded slowly.
~
They all went their ways the next few days and Junsu went out of the house on the second day. He didn’t say anything the whole time after they came home from the hospital.
But the members didn’t ask. They let him go, where he wanted to.
After Junsu left the house for his “vacation”, the members gathered together in the kitchen with leftovers from a cake Jaejoong baked two days ago.
After a long silence, Yunho was again the first one to speak.
“We can’t help him. Not now. He needs time… a lot of time.”
There was a pause and everyone looked up, to their leader’s face. They all were anxious for the next words.
“We should announce a break for Dong Bang Shin Ki. I don’t know for how long. But… I don’t want to continue without him and I think nobody of us wants to. Dong Bang Shin Ki can’t exist when even one of us isn’t there.”
Everyone nodded in agreement. Yunho looked around at his members. They all looked sorrowful, exhausted and very tired. They were all worried about Junsu and sad about the death of Junho.
Yunho sighed and spread his arms. With a bitter smile he shrugged and said softly, “I think we need each other’s comfort now.”
Jaejoong was the first who snuggled into Yunho’s arms and pressed his face into the chest of his friend.
Then Changmin stood up and joined them, with a light nod and drained eyes.
Yunho turned his gaze to Yoochun und waited patiently for him.
“We need Junsu.”
Yoochun’s voice was so low and empty that the other three men almost didn’t hear it.
But they understood and nodded in agreement.
Jaejoong detached himself a bit from Yunho and looked with a soft gaze over to Yoochun.
“But he isn’t here now, Yoochun-ah. He will come back. He knows where his home is and he will return. For this we have to be strong to comfort him when he is back.”
Changmin nodded to the words of his hyung and sent a caring look to Yoochun.
“We all miss him already. But we don’t give up.”
Finally Yoochun nodded a little and came to them, embraced his friends. He took a deep breath and smelled the unmistakeable scent of the other members.
They have all known each other for such a long time. They were like brothers.
They suffered together, they went through failures together and they stood together whenever there was something that would cause trouble or pain.
But they also shared happiness, the prizes and awards after their effort and they lived their dream together, no matter what happened.
Yes, Junsu would return to them. They needed each other.
Though at this moment it was painful and they all suffered, they would not give up, not because of this. Not because of anything.
Though they had to take a break as Dong Bang Shin Ki, though they couldn’t be there for the fans and couldn’t sing in front of them or meet them, it was okay because they needed to recover from this accident, from this pain.
Pairing: YooSu (later)
Genre: angst. drama.
Rating: PG-16
Words: 3 285
Length: chaptered -> Part 1 . Part 2 .
Warning: character death.
Summary: Something happens in that night. Something that changes Junsu's life forever. And with him it changes everything in the life of DBSK.
Thanks to: engbreakfast for betaing this chapter <33 thank you! you are really amazing!!
Disclaimer: Don't own DBSK. Just the plot is mine. ah and I don't own Junho too.
~
It was Saturday night when he couldn't fall asleep. The next day was a full schedule, like always, although it was the last day of the year.
Junsu grabbed his cell phone and looked at the display. It was 3 am and he didn't think he would get any more sleep for the rest of the night.
After a moment of hesitation he tumbled out of bed and got changed, grabbing his phone again and dialled the number of his twin brother.
"Junho?!"
His brother answered with a loud grumble, but he never disappointed Junsu.
"Let’s take a walk and talk for a bit. I can't sleep."
He didn't wait for an answer but just hung up.
He made his way through the dorm quietly and carefully, not wishing to wake up the other members,
He met his brother, who was still half asleep, a few streets away.
Junsu was relieved when he spotted Junho’s tall, wide figure. The sight of his brother always made him feel a little bit lighter, a little bit more relaxed. He couldn't help but always rely on Junho.
Junho was just a little bit upset, but this feeling was gone soon. He enjoyed every minute he could spend with his brother in between Junsu’s stressful schedule.
He was a little bit worried, because normally a simple phone talk would be enough to make Junsu calm down and let him fall asleep soon again.
Junho never asked for the reason why his brother was sleepless that often at night because he just knew he would never get an answer. And somehow he knew it already for himself.
A little smile appeared on his face. They talked a bit, walking through the night and now a comfortable silence stretched between them.
They passed a convenience store.
"I’ll buy us something."
Junho looked around and then his eyes settled on the opposite side of the street.
"Let’s sit over there! You go on ahead."
He smiled brightly, fully awake, and pointed to the other side. Junsu nodded and returned the smile, but said nothing. He sent him a last gaze as the older one walked in the store and turned around.
They have this kind of relationship where Junho was the hyung, the one who cares for him. Maybe this was one of the reasons why Junsu always came to him when he felt worried or tired of his life. When he would be the hyung or wouldn't see in his brother the older one, maybe then they wouldn't have this kind of relationship.
His smile deepened when his attention went to the other side of the street and he sat down. Junsu really enjoyed time with his brother and it was true what everyone said and thought. Nobody was closer to him than his twin. He couldn't imagine how it would be without him and he didn't want to think about it because it was impossible for him.
After a moment his eyes were aware of the figure coming out of the store. Junho waved a bit and smiled again when he saw how his brother returned it.
Junho’s eyes were fixed on him as he walked towards the street.
But that was his mistake. He just walked onto the street, unaware of anything but the smile on Junsu’s face..
It was still frozen on his face when the car appeared suddenly, the headlights flashing into his eyes and the eyes of his brother.
There was a loud noise, not a shrill crashing sound. It was dull, dull and heavy, but still loud and clear in his ears.
Junsu stared at his twin, how he was catapulted in the air with a loud scream which made him shudder.
The moment when the man’s weight impacted onto the ground caused a low echo.
Until this moment Junsu had just sat there and stared at his brother, the smile still in his face, but his eyes widened. His feelings weren't clear. He couldn't have said what he was feeling at this moment; if it was shock, fear or something else. He just stared at the scene in front of him, somehow numb inside.
Not until the driver rushed out of his car and to the injured man did Junsu stood up, in shock, and slowly crossed the street to Junho.
His mind was empty. What could he think at that moment? Neither logical nor feeling thoughts filled his head.
It was completely empty.
Only his muscles still worked, moving himself to the two men there on the street.
Junsu looked down on the body. It was deformed, blood flowing out frantically and nonstop from the many different but unrecognizable places.
The man who kneeled next to him had already dialled the emergency number and trying now to help somehow. When he was aware of the other man who came closer he looked up.
"Hey! Can you help me? Please. I don't know how this could happen. I am so sorry…"
He mumbled some more, but it was cut off from the scream which finally broke out of Junsu's throat.
He fell down next to Junho and clang to his body. Tears were floating down his cheeks while the scream slowly trailed away.
The whole incident had finally reached his mind and feelings. But it was too much. Not only could his mind not handle all the information but also of course his soul and heart too.
He was too full of feelings and thoughts, but he didn't care because his body moved on his own will, not able to be controlled by logic anymore because it was no longer intact.
The man looked at him, unsure about what he should do. It was obvious that the two knew each other, but he thought it was the best not to talk to the shocked man right now.
But before he could think any further about this, the doctors had arrived and rushed forward to the emergency scene to rescue the man Junsu had always relied on, trusted, and loved.
~
Junsu sat silently on the chair in the corridor of the hospital. His unseeing stare went straight through wall in front of him.
His ears noticed the low sound of footsteps on the floor, but it didn't really reach his brain.
His head didn't turn around when all four members of DBSK surrounded him and pulled him in a hug.
His head was completely empty aside from the pictures or better, the film which played over and over again. He couldn't help but watch it every time it was shown in his head, right in front of his eyes.
He couldn't see anything else than this. He couldn't feel anything else other than the emptiness which was left behind.
Just when warm and soft hands began to stroke his back and hair Junsu's eyes closed slowly and he relaxed a little bit.
This was his family, his other family. His brothers and friends whom he could trust. It was nothing compared to his twin, but it was a little bit of comfort and maybe this was enough for the moment. Maybe he didn't need anything more now because any more would have been too much.
~
It was six in the morning.
Junsu was still pulled in an embrace from Yoochun and Jaejoong. Changmin and Yunho sat next to the three.
Everyone was asleep, besides Yunho who watched his members silently and worried. He wasn't worried about their image as a group or their future as DBSK. The leader's thoughts were concentrated on the condition of his friends. Of course he was affected too, but he had learned to control such things better than the other four. He was anxious about how big the consequences would be. How much demolition could they bear until it would become too pain? Yunho was especially concerned about Junsu but he could do nothing about it. Nothing more than wait and comfort him as much as he could.
His head turned around as the doctor came towards them. More worry and anxiety reflected on his face as he watched the doctor.
"I am sorry…"
This was enough to know it.
Yunho just nodded and rubbed softly over Junsu's back, sighed quietly. Tears were about to come out, but he swallowed hard and carefully woke up his members.
Jaejoong was the first, who though his sleepy mood understood and tried to explain it to the others.
Junsu was the last one who was still asleep. His face looked relaxed but also exhausted and the marks of his tears were still visible.
Yoochun hesitated for a moment before he woke the other with a slight stroke over his cheek and soft pat on his shoulder.
"Junsu… wake up."
His voice was soft but it reached Junsu like a loud distracting noise and he jumped awake, straightened up and looked around. His gaze reached his friends, who looked at him with a worried and sad expression.
He shook his head and formed a soundless 'no' with his lips, but Yunho bit his lip and nodded.
This time his scream was soundless and inside himself. Nobody could hear but all four men knew it. They hugged each other and tried to comfort somehow themselves and Junsu.
He had lost his twin. The most precious person in his life.
And nobody, not even his friends who were like brothers to him, could help him. Could make this pain go away. He had to live with it, had to bear it until the pain would decrease more and more, though it was at this moment unbearable and unimaginable that it would get better sometime.
~
They went back to their apartment. The media and fans were crazy, screaming like hell and not wanting to let them rest just a little bit. But they managed with their manager and other staff members to get back safely and without too much disturbance.
All members were silent. They sneaked gazes to Junsu, who simply sat between Jaejoong and Yoochun, silent like the others but it was obvious that he still had a shock.
They arrived at their home and went upstairs. It was a moment of silence and everyone stood awkwardly in the corridor before Junsu made the first move. He took his shoes and jacket off and left to his room.
They all watched the sight of his departing back and sighed quietly. Again they exchanged worried looks and walked into the living room.
They knew Junsu well enough to know that they shouldn’t bother him right now. He needed some time alone.
So the four singers cuddled together on the couch, clutching onto the mugs of hot chocolate Jaejoong made.
Finally Yunho began to speak and tried to comfort his members a little bit. It wasn’t easy because there was nothing which could solace them.
But there was a beginning for a talk and they got the chance to share their feelings at least somewhat.
~
Meanwhile, Junsu lay down on his bed and stared at the wall to his right. First there was no sound until the soft voices of the others reached his ear.
He didn't cry or show any other emotion. His face was empty, almost dead. That’s was how he felt, if he could even feel anything.
But somehow his friends, his other family, managed to calm him down a little bit. It was not really help or solace, but it calmed him down. The calm and soft voices which weren't really next to him or directed to him.
But he felt them, he felt the feelings behind these voices and finally, his soul could find a little bit of peace.
He shut his eyes and sighed.
It was the first sound that came from him after hours.
~
Time passed by and his body relaxed more and more. But the emotions, sounds and pictures from the incident wouldn’t go away.
After hours the voices softened and it became completely quiet in the apartment.
Junsu turned around and faced the door. He almost expected to hear low footsteps and then someone opened the door.
But nothing happened and he rolled to the other side again.
His eyes were open but he couldn’t see clearly what was in the room, though it wasn’t dark. He was still just concentrating on his memories. He couldn’t let go of them.
Finally his body became heavier and heavier until Junsu felt the sleep coming over him. But he was afraid of it.
What if he dreamed of it?
Of course he would dream of it.
His eyes wandered to the door again, he couldn’t help it.
Finally the door opened and someone came to his bed.
Neither a smile nor an encouraging look met his eyes when he looked at his bandmate.
Yoochun stroke Junsu’s hair and sat next to him on the bed.
His eyes moved over his friend and a quiet sigh left his lips. He never thought he would see his best friend like this. Yoochun always liked the cheerful and happy side of Junsu. He liked to see him laughing, hearing his dolphin voice and the embarrassment that washed over him after he made a joke.
It hurt him to see the younger one like this.
He couldn’t just sit quietly like the others in the living room while Junsu was left behind alone here in his room. He had to do something so he came to try give his friend the least bit comfort he could.
“Junsu…”
His voice had its usual huskiness, but it was sad yet so soft that it almost broke Junsu’s heart again.
His hand moved on his own when he grabbed Yoochun’s arm and pulled him towards himself.
The older one almost fell onto Junsu but he held himself up and calmly lay down beside him.
He could tell that though his friend was very tired he didn’t want to fall asleep.
Still in silence he wrapped his arms around the broken man and pushed him lightly to his chest. With one hand, the blanket was covering them and Yoochun looked at Junsu’s face for the last time.
His eyes were still open, but he seemed a little bit more relaxed than before.
With another sigh, Junsu snuggled into the chest of his friend and grabbed with one hand his shirt. His body wanted to rest though his mind couldn’t. But maybe he could find just a tiny bit of peace from the sleep with the warm and caring arms around him.
Still Yoochun didn’t smile, but his gaze became softer and his fingers caressed Junsu’s tensed back.
He was relieved to see Junsu calming down a bit.
A light kiss was placed onto Junsu’s head and for a moment, it was as if Junsu was drawing his breath, then he was relieved to finally close his eyes.
Though it still took time until the breath of the younger one was calm and regular, Yoochun was thankful for it.
He looked at his friend and realized his own tiredness due to all the trouble and anxiety they had and still have.
After a while he fell asleep too, still holding Junsu in his arms and snuggling him lightly.
~
The next day Junsu woke up without Yoochun next to him. But when he raised his head he met the eyes of Jaejoong who smiled for a moment.
“Good morning, Junsu-ah. Breakfast is ready. We are all waiting for you.”
He smiled again, but it was obvious how worried he actually was.
Junsu nodded and slowly got up.
He said no word to his friends when he came into the kitchen, but they all just smiled a little bit, except for Yoochun, who nodded at him.
They ate in silence, everyone concentrated within their own thoughts.
Yunho was the first to talk after the table was cleared.
“I cancelled all meetings for the next days. We are free and can go wherever we want. We just have to call the manager.”
His look was mainly focused on Junsu, but he didn’t look back, just stared at the table in front of him.
The leader sighed and he stood up, catching Jaejoong’s gaze and nodded slowly.
~
They all went their ways the next few days and Junsu went out of the house on the second day. He didn’t say anything the whole time after they came home from the hospital.
But the members didn’t ask. They let him go, where he wanted to.
After Junsu left the house for his “vacation”, the members gathered together in the kitchen with leftovers from a cake Jaejoong baked two days ago.
After a long silence, Yunho was again the first one to speak.
“We can’t help him. Not now. He needs time… a lot of time.”
There was a pause and everyone looked up, to their leader’s face. They all were anxious for the next words.
“We should announce a break for Dong Bang Shin Ki. I don’t know for how long. But… I don’t want to continue without him and I think nobody of us wants to. Dong Bang Shin Ki can’t exist when even one of us isn’t there.”
Everyone nodded in agreement. Yunho looked around at his members. They all looked sorrowful, exhausted and very tired. They were all worried about Junsu and sad about the death of Junho.
Yunho sighed and spread his arms. With a bitter smile he shrugged and said softly, “I think we need each other’s comfort now.”
Jaejoong was the first who snuggled into Yunho’s arms and pressed his face into the chest of his friend.
Then Changmin stood up and joined them, with a light nod and drained eyes.
Yunho turned his gaze to Yoochun und waited patiently for him.
“We need Junsu.”
Yoochun’s voice was so low and empty that the other three men almost didn’t hear it.
But they understood and nodded in agreement.
Jaejoong detached himself a bit from Yunho and looked with a soft gaze over to Yoochun.
“But he isn’t here now, Yoochun-ah. He will come back. He knows where his home is and he will return. For this we have to be strong to comfort him when he is back.”
Changmin nodded to the words of his hyung and sent a caring look to Yoochun.
“We all miss him already. But we don’t give up.”
Finally Yoochun nodded a little and came to them, embraced his friends. He took a deep breath and smelled the unmistakeable scent of the other members.
They have all known each other for such a long time. They were like brothers.
They suffered together, they went through failures together and they stood together whenever there was something that would cause trouble or pain.
But they also shared happiness, the prizes and awards after their effort and they lived their dream together, no matter what happened.
Yes, Junsu would return to them. They needed each other.
Though at this moment it was painful and they all suffered, they would not give up, not because of this. Not because of anything.
Though they had to take a break as Dong Bang Shin Ki, though they couldn’t be there for the fans and couldn’t sing in front of them or meet them, it was okay because they needed to recover from this accident, from this pain.