Right now I have zero self esteem. I know that I should never let anyone make me feel that way but I couldnt help it. First he says something that made me recoil as if I had been slapped and then makes me feel like im repulsive and dirty. I havent felt this low in a very long time. I learned how to tune it out for the most part. I cried while at ( Read more... )

I am confused but only a little. Maybe I'm not confused at all. Maybe I'm just ignorant. Do I ignore these feelings in order to selfperpetuate another lie? Or do I go with this feeling and live separated. I am separated. I just want to get out of this apartment....I am lonely and feel useless. How do I expess the longing to just be around someone ( Read more... )

Thats what this is.

The heart that beats in your chest is only as unique as the dreams that give it hope.

I'll pick you up whenever you fall. I'll be there through the tears and the laughter. I will hug you when your feeling lonely, make you breakfast when you cant make it for yourself, even sit at home just so I can be there when you get home. We are going to make it through this. I believe in you. I will be your best friend and your sister in Christ ( Read more... )

Today I had eight hours to myself to mull it over. All the decisions of the past few months. Am I disgusted with myself? I am. There arnt words at the moment. I've forgotten the innocence. On one hand the apartment situation is coming together but on the other I feel as if I may be falling apart. I dont want to be saved, not it the least. I still ( Read more... )

I am setting myself up for failiure by living in memories I havent lived. I love freely but differently. None have the same taste. This love is sweeter than any but I've never tasted it. I've heard rumors but I still dont think it exsists. I suppose we'll see.

I lost control of my car. They cut the freeway down to one lane...fast. The car in from of me slammed on their brakes. It was swerve or hit them doing over 80. I swerved. Lost control of the car. It was on two wheels. I tried to correct which only made it tip more. Finally i got control but the adreniline pumping through me renders me speechless ( Read more... )

I am a wave tossed between two giant tides. The keeper of secrets for both sides. How can i be expected to listen to both of you and keep your secrets....when both of you demand for me to tell you what the other one said. I'm not a rag doll but i can still be torn between two sides. And yes I've had to lie to both of you for the sake of protecting ( Read more... )

Today life demanded that I get up and greet the day....I said I wasnt up to the task and slipped back into oblivion.

Its quiet there.