[fic] Forward the Machine (AT, Action/Adventure) - Chapter 7 - Part One

[cryogenia]

Title: Forward the Machine - Chapter 07
Genre: Action/adventure, AT (diverging from mid-CoS)
Rating: R
Summary: (AT diverging from mid-movie): What if the Thule Society hadn’t opened the Gate on that fateful November 8th? What if Alfons Heiderich had yet to fire his rocket? What if Alphonse Elric was still out there searching? And what if Edward

Comments

[semipertinent]

Once again, I flail in awe at your descriptions of these 'blank slate' arrays. I had always assumed that the basic - and yes, probably more flexible - arrays were learning tools, for beginners, and also for general alchemy (like an array for changes of state), while the ones filled in with alchemic symbols were usually for a more nuanced, specialized purpose. I really, really like your idea of these being multipurpose, and also that permutations of an array using the same elements would yeild the same result.

Lol, now I'm geeking on pseudoscience. Someone hit me with a brick. XP

[cryogenia]

Thank you! You can tell that uh, I also like to geek out on pseudoscience XD; I am glad that the technobabble was interesting to anyone at all other than me XD;

[cairaguas]

I appreciate the addition to the Elric brothers' history, the part where you say that they stopped going to school after their mother died. It's interesting background, and probably true, even if never explicitly said in canon. I hadn't thought about it in detail before.

LOL at Alphonse thinking that Armstrong smelled "porcine" and then later thinking it was an "undeniably human" smell. Pick one, Al, pick one! :)

Al is wearing his brother's pants and shoes, too? Wow, Al, I think that might be taking it too far. Coat and hair style and gloves are one thing, but this. Buy your own clothes!

I love the last line, connecting the words aspirating and aspiration. Brilliant word choices, all through the story. Keep at it.

[cryogenia]

LOL at Alphonse thinking that Armstrong smelled "porcine" and then later thinking it was an "undeniably human" smell. Pick one, Al, pick one! :)

Heh, sharp eyes! (And a regrettable choice of descriptions on my part XD)

Thank you for the wonderful comment!

[ankoku_tenshi]

Really like the ideas you are putting into this. A lot of people always touch on Alphonse imitating Ed, but they never encourage Al to take his own direction, so I felt that was pretty original of you.

[cryogenia]

Thank you! I am glad you liked that aspect of the fic. Armstrong sort of showed up and surprised me with it to be perfectly honest XD

[meomnimi]

@_@;; if memory serves Al doesn't wear Ed's pants and shoes though- Ed's pants are shinier and tighter, and his shoes had red brims and straps

that aside, the technobabble was fun to read, and I hope LJ stop hating your word count soon cos I really want to keep reading *_*

[meomnimi]

orz. seems that part 2 was already posted but I just didn't realise >_>;;