FFVII Fic: Screw It
I didn’t mean it. Really, you have to believe me! I promise you that if I knew what would happen, I’d never have invited him over. It was totally innocent! It’s just that my heating was broken and you know how cold even SOLDIER quarters can be, right? He started to shiver and I did the gentlemanly thing and offered to share my body heat. He accepted. I can’t help how my body reacts to another, especially since I’ve secretly got this…thing for him - and believe me when I say I tried to persuade my body to behave, especially that one part. It didn‘t work, though because one minute, we were sitting there trying to keep warm and the next, my tongue was in his mouth and my hand in his pants. He didn’t even try to push me away, so I wasn’t forcing him or anything. He wanted it as much as I did. It was him who straddled me! It was him who started tugging on my belt! I just…went along with it.
Look, hate me if you want but it isn’t as if Cloud and Sephiroth are actually together. I know they like each other and stuff, even if they are too chicken to act on it. Like I said, though, they’re not together so I in no way helped Cloud cheat on his boyfriend. Because Sephiroth isn’t his boyfriend; he just wants to be. Just like Cloud wants to be his, even though he spent last night in my bed, with my cock in his ass. If anything, it’s their fault. If they actually got off their asses and did something about that mutual attraction or lust or love or whatever it is between them, it wouldn’t have happened because Cloud would have this owned by Sephiroth - touch and die vibe about him that’d put a dampener on my ardour faster than Sephiroth can draw Masamune.
Fuck, it was good. I can’t even bring myself to regret it, it was that good. The worst thing about being in love with one of your best friends is knowing that he’s in love with your other best friend and you’re stuck in the middle with no hope. There’s not even the remote possibility of a threesome because they’re so in love and shit like that doesn’t happen when people are in proper relationships. Heh…a threesome with Cloud and Seph. I’d be so into that I don’t think I’d ever lose my boner no matter how many times I came. I’m not saying that I have the hots for Sephiroth or anything, that’d be weird, but yeah, I’d let him fuck me. He’s pretty hot and I’ve got to admit that I’m a little curious to know if he is compensating for something with that over-sized sword of his. And whether his carpet matches the drapes, if you catch my meaning? Not gonna happen now though, is it? I mean, I’ll be lucky to even keep my genitals when he finds out about last night.
Shit. He really is going to kill me, isn’t he? I’ve sullied his precious little angel. Mind you, I don’t think Cloud was exactly untainted before last night. He was a little too talented with his tongue to be a first timer…or even a second timer. And the way he swallowed me down screams of practice. Unless he’s a natural at giving head, in which case screw my friendship with Sephiroth; I’m gonna become Cloud’s pimp! I’ll be richer than in my wildest dreams. Nah, I couldn’t do that to Cloud. The thought of someone - even Sephiroth - touching him like that makes me want to break stuff. Like necks. And after I broke those necks, I’d take Cloud and escape somewhere we would never be found and make love to him over and over until he forgot he’d even heard of Sephiroth.
Oh jeez…make love to him? Do I sound as cheesy as I think I do? Make love to him…because I don’t just want to screw him senseless. I don’t just want a casual fuck, despite what you might think. It isn’t like that with Cloud. I know I’ve got a bit of a playboy reputation thanks, in part, to Kunsel and his book on who I’m gonna bed next (wonder what the odds were on Cloud?), but still waters run deep and I do actually have a serious side! Who am I kidding? It doesn’t matter how serious I am, or how pure my intentions are towards Cloud; he doesn’t want me.
So…if he doesn’t want me, why did he let me do all those things to him last night? Why is he still tangled up in my covers, naked as the day he was born? Doesn’t he realise how much of temptation he is? How much of a temptation that is? I could be there right now, running my hands over his baby-soft skin, making him whimper and tremble as I run my tongue over his cock and slip my finger into his asshole. Would he let me? I think not only would he let me, he’d beg me to drive him over the edge like he did last night. His voice would crack as he begged me to fill him up and I definitely wouldn’t be making love to him; I’d be banging him senseless. And then, when he came and was hovering in that blissful state, partway between orgasmic euphoria and dazed exhaustion, that’s when I’d whisper in his ear that I love him and that I want nothing more from this life than for it to be just me and him, and screw the rest of the world. Screw SOLDIER, screw ShinRa and screw Sephiroth! All I would need is Cloud and in turn, I’d be all he needed.
I had a dream last night, as we slept side by side. I dreamed that’s how it was…just the two of us, travelling together and living off the land. We sheltered in caves, bathed in rivers and throughout every moment of our journey, I had my arms tightly wrapped around his waist as he leaned into me. I was his support and he depended upon me, as if his very existence hinged on my ability to protect him. It wasn’t enough though. No matter how hard I tried to keep him safe and comfortable and happy, he still didn’t love me back. I repeated words of love to him, time and again but not once did he return the sentiment. In my dream, where I finally had what I’ve wanted for so long, Cloud never once spoke to me. He clung to me and his body responded to my touches, but he never uttered a word or begged for me to take him. He never so much as said my name, regardless of how many times I said his. I thought he might be dead but for his breathing.
I hate dreams like that, don’t you? You wake up feeling all weird and unsettled and it doesn’t matter what you do for the rest of the day, you can’t shake that feeling of not-rightness that follows you around until you fall asleep again the following night. Maybe if I went over there and shook him awake, I could convince my mind that he isn’t really all dead-like and the dream was brought about by guilt or something. That works, right? Guilt…that’s why when I dreamed I had everything, I still had nothing. Guilt will do that to you.
But, you might ask, why should I be the one to feel guilty? Isn’t Cloud actually the guilty party? He used me, after all, as a substitute for Sephiroth! If you can’t be with the one you love, then settle for second best and use your imagination. I’m not that different to Sephiroth. Okay, well if you closed your eyes you probably wouldn’t know the difference. I’m broader across the shoulders and he’s a little bit taller than me. There’s the hair thing too, but Cloud’s hands were so firmly clamped to my ass that I don’t think he’d have noticed my lack of long, silver mane brushing over his knuckles. Yeah - he totally used me! I was nothing but a cock to him, I’ll bet. Little fucker…I should go over there right now and give him something to remember me by; force him to keep his eyes open so whenever he does finally get lucky with Sephiroth, all he’ll be able to think about is me! It’ll be Seph’s dick, ploughing into him but in Cloud’s mind, all he’ll be able to think about is the time he got royally rutted by the King of Fucking, Zack Fair.
There I go again, glancing over at him sprawled on the bed and thinking to myself, ‘I really could do with another round with Cloud’. Will I never learn? Did my guilt-induced dream teach me nothing? Will my body ever obey my trying-to-behave-myself mind? Shit! He just moved and the covers slipped down (not in any way aided by my foot, trapping them and stopping them from shifting with him - honestly!). Now I can see his treasure trail and my nose tickles at the memory of being pressed against those wiry, curly hairs. If I curl my toes, I can actually take hold of the covers. Wow…who knew my feet were so talented? The covers have come off in one tug and now he’s completely exposed. And hard. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He’s hard and I’m hard and the covers are on the floor. It’s at times like this that I wished I smoked, if only to give my hand something to do other than reach down to where my own erection strains against my pyjama bottoms. If I had a cigarette, I wouldn’t be able to squeeze my cock and remember how it felt to have Cloud do the very same. Hell, if I smoked I wouldn’t even be there because I’d be huddled outside along with all the other outcasts, indulging in that filthy habit rather than indulging in this filthy habit of stroking my cock whilst looking at Cloud naked.
Seriously, I’m having real difficulty in holding myself back now. Part of me wants to go over there and wake him up with the sweetest blowjob of his life; another wants to jerk myself hard and fast against his lips and wake him up with my cum in his eyes. I’m a sick fucker, aren’t I? It’s not like I want to abuse him or anything like that! I just want to dirty him up a little so Sephiroth won’t want him anymore. Sephiroth likes things clean and pristine so if he sees Cloud with a little bit of dried spunk stuck to his eyelashes, he’ll no longer want Cloud and I can have him all to myself. Plus, it’d be totally hot to shoot my load all over that pretty face. I’ve wanked over that particular fantasy a few times - and not just about Cloud. What? Everyone is entitled to a little fetish, aren’t they?
All this talk of sex and coming isn’t helping my cause and now I’m harder than I think I’ve ever been. I really need to jerk off or fuck Cloud and I know which one I’d prefer. Maybe if I started to move around a bit, make some noise, then he’d wake up and see that I’m aroused and then he’d notice that he’s aroused and I’d say something like, ‘Hey Cloud, last night was great so why don’t we do it all over again, for posterity or something’. Ideally, he’d roll onto his back and spread his legs for me, maybe finger fuck himself a little to get his tight hole ready for me. Heh…like that’d happen.
Fuck! I’m dead. I’m dead and my head hurts from where I just bashed it against the desk. Why? You want to know why? Well, you know one of the reasons why I’m dead (because I’ve defiled the sanctity of friendship) and now, I have another reason to add to that list. Cloud, the sneaky little prick, wasn’t asleep. He wasn’t asleep and was perfectly wide awake and aware of what he was doing by exposing himself. He knew that I pulled the covers off and not gravity. He knew that I was sitting here, watching him and mentally masturbating over him. But how did he know?
It turns out I talk while I type.
And apparently he has got together with Sephiroth, he was aware of my little thing for him (as was Sephiroth) and a threesome isn’t out of the question. I’m a bit shocked, really. I…I didn’t expect that, I’m a bit embarrassed actually, especially since I said all that mushy stuff about wanting to make love to him. Ah! And he knows about my fetish! He knows I want to jizz in his face! Ugh…and he knows that I think Sephiroth’s hot and has just called him to come over and join in the fun. He wants to know why I’m still writing my journal. That’s a good question, Cloud. A really good question. Maybe you should distract me from it, you know? Yeah…like that. Shit, Cloud…just how many guys have you blown? What? How many? Alright then, show me what Reno taught you. Wait - Reno the Turk? Don’t you know how dangerous that guy is? He’s kinda sexy, I’ll grant you that but - holy fuck, Cloud! I didn’t even know that was possible! Yeah, yeah…I’ll stop typing if you do that thing again…ah-haah-aaahh…nrrrggh…
The end.
Look, hate me if you want but it isn’t as if Cloud and Sephiroth are actually together. I know they like each other and stuff, even if they are too chicken to act on it. Like I said, though, they’re not together so I in no way helped Cloud cheat on his boyfriend. Because Sephiroth isn’t his boyfriend; he just wants to be. Just like Cloud wants to be his, even though he spent last night in my bed, with my cock in his ass. If anything, it’s their fault. If they actually got off their asses and did something about that mutual attraction or lust or love or whatever it is between them, it wouldn’t have happened because Cloud would have this owned by Sephiroth - touch and die vibe about him that’d put a dampener on my ardour faster than Sephiroth can draw Masamune.
Fuck, it was good. I can’t even bring myself to regret it, it was that good. The worst thing about being in love with one of your best friends is knowing that he’s in love with your other best friend and you’re stuck in the middle with no hope. There’s not even the remote possibility of a threesome because they’re so in love and shit like that doesn’t happen when people are in proper relationships. Heh…a threesome with Cloud and Seph. I’d be so into that I don’t think I’d ever lose my boner no matter how many times I came. I’m not saying that I have the hots for Sephiroth or anything, that’d be weird, but yeah, I’d let him fuck me. He’s pretty hot and I’ve got to admit that I’m a little curious to know if he is compensating for something with that over-sized sword of his. And whether his carpet matches the drapes, if you catch my meaning? Not gonna happen now though, is it? I mean, I’ll be lucky to even keep my genitals when he finds out about last night.
Shit. He really is going to kill me, isn’t he? I’ve sullied his precious little angel. Mind you, I don’t think Cloud was exactly untainted before last night. He was a little too talented with his tongue to be a first timer…or even a second timer. And the way he swallowed me down screams of practice. Unless he’s a natural at giving head, in which case screw my friendship with Sephiroth; I’m gonna become Cloud’s pimp! I’ll be richer than in my wildest dreams. Nah, I couldn’t do that to Cloud. The thought of someone - even Sephiroth - touching him like that makes me want to break stuff. Like necks. And after I broke those necks, I’d take Cloud and escape somewhere we would never be found and make love to him over and over until he forgot he’d even heard of Sephiroth.
Oh jeez…make love to him? Do I sound as cheesy as I think I do? Make love to him…because I don’t just want to screw him senseless. I don’t just want a casual fuck, despite what you might think. It isn’t like that with Cloud. I know I’ve got a bit of a playboy reputation thanks, in part, to Kunsel and his book on who I’m gonna bed next (wonder what the odds were on Cloud?), but still waters run deep and I do actually have a serious side! Who am I kidding? It doesn’t matter how serious I am, or how pure my intentions are towards Cloud; he doesn’t want me.
So…if he doesn’t want me, why did he let me do all those things to him last night? Why is he still tangled up in my covers, naked as the day he was born? Doesn’t he realise how much of temptation he is? How much of a temptation that is? I could be there right now, running my hands over his baby-soft skin, making him whimper and tremble as I run my tongue over his cock and slip my finger into his asshole. Would he let me? I think not only would he let me, he’d beg me to drive him over the edge like he did last night. His voice would crack as he begged me to fill him up and I definitely wouldn’t be making love to him; I’d be banging him senseless. And then, when he came and was hovering in that blissful state, partway between orgasmic euphoria and dazed exhaustion, that’s when I’d whisper in his ear that I love him and that I want nothing more from this life than for it to be just me and him, and screw the rest of the world. Screw SOLDIER, screw ShinRa and screw Sephiroth! All I would need is Cloud and in turn, I’d be all he needed.
I had a dream last night, as we slept side by side. I dreamed that’s how it was…just the two of us, travelling together and living off the land. We sheltered in caves, bathed in rivers and throughout every moment of our journey, I had my arms tightly wrapped around his waist as he leaned into me. I was his support and he depended upon me, as if his very existence hinged on my ability to protect him. It wasn’t enough though. No matter how hard I tried to keep him safe and comfortable and happy, he still didn’t love me back. I repeated words of love to him, time and again but not once did he return the sentiment. In my dream, where I finally had what I’ve wanted for so long, Cloud never once spoke to me. He clung to me and his body responded to my touches, but he never uttered a word or begged for me to take him. He never so much as said my name, regardless of how many times I said his. I thought he might be dead but for his breathing.
I hate dreams like that, don’t you? You wake up feeling all weird and unsettled and it doesn’t matter what you do for the rest of the day, you can’t shake that feeling of not-rightness that follows you around until you fall asleep again the following night. Maybe if I went over there and shook him awake, I could convince my mind that he isn’t really all dead-like and the dream was brought about by guilt or something. That works, right? Guilt…that’s why when I dreamed I had everything, I still had nothing. Guilt will do that to you.
But, you might ask, why should I be the one to feel guilty? Isn’t Cloud actually the guilty party? He used me, after all, as a substitute for Sephiroth! If you can’t be with the one you love, then settle for second best and use your imagination. I’m not that different to Sephiroth. Okay, well if you closed your eyes you probably wouldn’t know the difference. I’m broader across the shoulders and he’s a little bit taller than me. There’s the hair thing too, but Cloud’s hands were so firmly clamped to my ass that I don’t think he’d have noticed my lack of long, silver mane brushing over his knuckles. Yeah - he totally used me! I was nothing but a cock to him, I’ll bet. Little fucker…I should go over there right now and give him something to remember me by; force him to keep his eyes open so whenever he does finally get lucky with Sephiroth, all he’ll be able to think about is me! It’ll be Seph’s dick, ploughing into him but in Cloud’s mind, all he’ll be able to think about is the time he got royally rutted by the King of Fucking, Zack Fair.
There I go again, glancing over at him sprawled on the bed and thinking to myself, ‘I really could do with another round with Cloud’. Will I never learn? Did my guilt-induced dream teach me nothing? Will my body ever obey my trying-to-behave-myself mind? Shit! He just moved and the covers slipped down (not in any way aided by my foot, trapping them and stopping them from shifting with him - honestly!). Now I can see his treasure trail and my nose tickles at the memory of being pressed against those wiry, curly hairs. If I curl my toes, I can actually take hold of the covers. Wow…who knew my feet were so talented? The covers have come off in one tug and now he’s completely exposed. And hard. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He’s hard and I’m hard and the covers are on the floor. It’s at times like this that I wished I smoked, if only to give my hand something to do other than reach down to where my own erection strains against my pyjama bottoms. If I had a cigarette, I wouldn’t be able to squeeze my cock and remember how it felt to have Cloud do the very same. Hell, if I smoked I wouldn’t even be there because I’d be huddled outside along with all the other outcasts, indulging in that filthy habit rather than indulging in this filthy habit of stroking my cock whilst looking at Cloud naked.
Seriously, I’m having real difficulty in holding myself back now. Part of me wants to go over there and wake him up with the sweetest blowjob of his life; another wants to jerk myself hard and fast against his lips and wake him up with my cum in his eyes. I’m a sick fucker, aren’t I? It’s not like I want to abuse him or anything like that! I just want to dirty him up a little so Sephiroth won’t want him anymore. Sephiroth likes things clean and pristine so if he sees Cloud with a little bit of dried spunk stuck to his eyelashes, he’ll no longer want Cloud and I can have him all to myself. Plus, it’d be totally hot to shoot my load all over that pretty face. I’ve wanked over that particular fantasy a few times - and not just about Cloud. What? Everyone is entitled to a little fetish, aren’t they?
All this talk of sex and coming isn’t helping my cause and now I’m harder than I think I’ve ever been. I really need to jerk off or fuck Cloud and I know which one I’d prefer. Maybe if I started to move around a bit, make some noise, then he’d wake up and see that I’m aroused and then he’d notice that he’s aroused and I’d say something like, ‘Hey Cloud, last night was great so why don’t we do it all over again, for posterity or something’. Ideally, he’d roll onto his back and spread his legs for me, maybe finger fuck himself a little to get his tight hole ready for me. Heh…like that’d happen.
Fuck! I’m dead. I’m dead and my head hurts from where I just bashed it against the desk. Why? You want to know why? Well, you know one of the reasons why I’m dead (because I’ve defiled the sanctity of friendship) and now, I have another reason to add to that list. Cloud, the sneaky little prick, wasn’t asleep. He wasn’t asleep and was perfectly wide awake and aware of what he was doing by exposing himself. He knew that I pulled the covers off and not gravity. He knew that I was sitting here, watching him and mentally masturbating over him. But how did he know?
It turns out I talk while I type.
And apparently he has got together with Sephiroth, he was aware of my little thing for him (as was Sephiroth) and a threesome isn’t out of the question. I’m a bit shocked, really. I…I didn’t expect that, I’m a bit embarrassed actually, especially since I said all that mushy stuff about wanting to make love to him. Ah! And he knows about my fetish! He knows I want to jizz in his face! Ugh…and he knows that I think Sephiroth’s hot and has just called him to come over and join in the fun. He wants to know why I’m still writing my journal. That’s a good question, Cloud. A really good question. Maybe you should distract me from it, you know? Yeah…like that. Shit, Cloud…just how many guys have you blown? What? How many? Alright then, show me what Reno taught you. Wait - Reno the Turk? Don’t you know how dangerous that guy is? He’s kinda sexy, I’ll grant you that but - holy fuck, Cloud! I didn’t even know that was possible! Yeah, yeah…I’ll stop typing if you do that thing again…ah-haah-aaahh…nrrrggh…
The end.