As mote to be...
Well this was a rollercoaster of a weekend.
Well, on Friday I got out of work at 3 p.m., because my boss let me get out early. (I had been at work since the break of dawn) and I went home to “girly-fy” myself for that nights outing. I went to pick up my friend C.J. in Miami Lakes and then we headed out to Wet Willies in the Grove. We had a nice time nothing exciting. We went to sleep in the wee hours of the morning and he slept over my house (he’s gay lol so none of those thoughts). We woke up at around 9 or 10 and I got dressed and ready and we went to have breakfast and I took him home. I then went to Dadeland Mall to get my Name Belt Buckle fixed and just walked around the mall. My nieces bday is coming up so I just wanted to scope things out. I texted M and asked if he still wanted me to go visit him and he didn’t answer, so at first I was thinking… okkkk… never meant for you to really go see him Kells… but then he texted me a while later and said, “come now, I am at work” So I did… when I get there it takes me a while to find him because #1 I was a nervous idiot, #2 I couldn’t see straight and #3 ok, so maybe I was delaying our meeting. So when I finally go up to him, he was with one of his co-workers and whatever. He is so bi-polar man. He was acting like he has seen me everyday for the past 7 months, when in fact, I hadn’t seen him for almost 4 months. So being the proud bitch I am, I followed his cold flow. Then he started warming up and whatever. I would like daze off and look somewhere but then from the corner of my eye, I would see him look at me. We kept getting interrupted by customers, so it really wasn’t the meeting that I hoped for. I kept my cool though. I’m glad we were in public if not I would have ravished him there and my plan to keep cool and give him the cold shoulder would’ve have been thrown to hell. MY GOD, did he look so damned cute. Well I stayed there for a bit and announced that I was leaving and he gave me that look that could melt me in a heartbeat and I couldn’t even talk… I whispered like a dumbass and looked down and said “home to get dressed”… he stared me up and down and he was like “you are dressed”… That damned look he gave me drove me insane. I then noticed what he was trying to get at and gave him my infamous one eyebrow arch and said “well I gotta go home, GET NAKED and dress to impress”. Yeah, I made him blush. That was empowering. We shared jokes, laughed …. I’m still mixed as to what he felt because he and I haven’t spoken since. We’ll see. I’m ok though. I thought when I got there I would stay there until he left… lol… thank goodness I didn’t feel the need for that. I simply told him, well if you don’t work tomorrow and are in the mood, call me… I know you won’t but at least my conscience is clear that I told you too. He looked at me and us Cubans say he “fried eggs” (pfftttt’d) at me. He gave me a lingering kiss on the cheek and I just looked at him, smiled and walked away. I went home and got ready… didn’t even have time to change, only to really throw on my heels and go… and we went to the Cleavelander in SoBe (south beach for my retard homies) to celebrate Mars’ husbands Bday. It was me, Yanet, Mars, Thomas and Chris… A LOT of $ was spent on drinks (I’ll post pics later) but we had fun. We went to Mars’ house and continued the party there and then I got home at like 5 a.m.
SUNDAY… I wake up to find out my grandmothers sister passed away. Now, I barely new my grandaunt, but really the little I knew, I knew that she had a hard personality. She wasn’t a “warm” person, not necessarily cold either but not the warmest… none the less, she was my grandmother’s sister and I felt it tremendously for my grandmother. My grandmother is an extremely strong woman and didn’t even cry at the news… simply said … “she’s resting”. The thing about my grandmother is, she’s affectionate, but she doesn’t really like to cry… and that can be bad for anyone. Well, we attended her wake and as soon as I walked into the room, I picked up on a lot of vibes. Those vibes got me sooooo down, I started crying and I was telling my cousin Annette “OMG I need air”. Apparently she must’ve thought I was an idiot… lol… I couldn’t move from my spot. They arranged the wake nicely. They had one of my grandaunt’s old albums full of family pictures. Now, for the past 21 years, I have believed this woman did not consider my side of the family… family per se, what broke me down is seeing pics of my mom, my sister, my grandmother, baby pics of me and even a picture of my father in her personal picture album. She did consider us family and in her own way loved us but was never, I don’t know if this is the appropriate way to phrase it, brave to show us she did care. She even had an old love letter in her album which showed another side of the aunt I knew. I can’t sit here like my cousin Annette and say “I didn’t love her” (it's not an attack Annette, I respect your feelings and don't blame you at all...)… I didn’t adore her… Yes, I did not have that extent of love for her as I do my grandmother, but I did care about her. There are stories and tales of all 8 of these siblings that doesn’t justify, yet explains, why most of them were the way they were. I just feel its sad family only gets fully together during a funeral and that’s not what family should be. That could be my naivety but, that’s my feeling on the matter. Sad to know who she really might’ve been after she was gone… “Tia Delia, rest in peace, I’m sorry I had such a feeling of indifference towards you…it’s not that I didn’t care… it’s just the fact that I built indifference towards you because you had it towards me and my family… I hope wherever you are now, you realize that love & family during life is the most important thing that can be given to you during life, as mote to be”
R.I.P Tia Delia ♥
Well, on Friday I got out of work at 3 p.m., because my boss let me get out early. (I had been at work since the break of dawn) and I went home to “girly-fy” myself for that nights outing. I went to pick up my friend C.J. in Miami Lakes and then we headed out to Wet Willies in the Grove. We had a nice time nothing exciting. We went to sleep in the wee hours of the morning and he slept over my house (he’s gay lol so none of those thoughts). We woke up at around 9 or 10 and I got dressed and ready and we went to have breakfast and I took him home. I then went to Dadeland Mall to get my Name Belt Buckle fixed and just walked around the mall. My nieces bday is coming up so I just wanted to scope things out. I texted M and asked if he still wanted me to go visit him and he didn’t answer, so at first I was thinking… okkkk… never meant for you to really go see him Kells… but then he texted me a while later and said, “come now, I am at work” So I did… when I get there it takes me a while to find him because #1 I was a nervous idiot, #2 I couldn’t see straight and #3 ok, so maybe I was delaying our meeting. So when I finally go up to him, he was with one of his co-workers and whatever. He is so bi-polar man. He was acting like he has seen me everyday for the past 7 months, when in fact, I hadn’t seen him for almost 4 months. So being the proud bitch I am, I followed his cold flow. Then he started warming up and whatever. I would like daze off and look somewhere but then from the corner of my eye, I would see him look at me. We kept getting interrupted by customers, so it really wasn’t the meeting that I hoped for. I kept my cool though. I’m glad we were in public if not I would have ravished him there and my plan to keep cool and give him the cold shoulder would’ve have been thrown to hell. MY GOD, did he look so damned cute. Well I stayed there for a bit and announced that I was leaving and he gave me that look that could melt me in a heartbeat and I couldn’t even talk… I whispered like a dumbass and looked down and said “home to get dressed”… he stared me up and down and he was like “you are dressed”… That damned look he gave me drove me insane. I then noticed what he was trying to get at and gave him my infamous one eyebrow arch and said “well I gotta go home, GET NAKED and dress to impress”. Yeah, I made him blush. That was empowering. We shared jokes, laughed …. I’m still mixed as to what he felt because he and I haven’t spoken since. We’ll see. I’m ok though. I thought when I got there I would stay there until he left… lol… thank goodness I didn’t feel the need for that. I simply told him, well if you don’t work tomorrow and are in the mood, call me… I know you won’t but at least my conscience is clear that I told you too. He looked at me and us Cubans say he “fried eggs” (pfftttt’d) at me. He gave me a lingering kiss on the cheek and I just looked at him, smiled and walked away. I went home and got ready… didn’t even have time to change, only to really throw on my heels and go… and we went to the Cleavelander in SoBe (south beach for my retard homies) to celebrate Mars’ husbands Bday. It was me, Yanet, Mars, Thomas and Chris… A LOT of $ was spent on drinks (I’ll post pics later) but we had fun. We went to Mars’ house and continued the party there and then I got home at like 5 a.m.
SUNDAY… I wake up to find out my grandmothers sister passed away. Now, I barely new my grandaunt, but really the little I knew, I knew that she had a hard personality. She wasn’t a “warm” person, not necessarily cold either but not the warmest… none the less, she was my grandmother’s sister and I felt it tremendously for my grandmother. My grandmother is an extremely strong woman and didn’t even cry at the news… simply said … “she’s resting”. The thing about my grandmother is, she’s affectionate, but she doesn’t really like to cry… and that can be bad for anyone. Well, we attended her wake and as soon as I walked into the room, I picked up on a lot of vibes. Those vibes got me sooooo down, I started crying and I was telling my cousin Annette “OMG I need air”. Apparently she must’ve thought I was an idiot… lol… I couldn’t move from my spot. They arranged the wake nicely. They had one of my grandaunt’s old albums full of family pictures. Now, for the past 21 years, I have believed this woman did not consider my side of the family… family per se, what broke me down is seeing pics of my mom, my sister, my grandmother, baby pics of me and even a picture of my father in her personal picture album. She did consider us family and in her own way loved us but was never, I don’t know if this is the appropriate way to phrase it, brave to show us she did care. She even had an old love letter in her album which showed another side of the aunt I knew. I can’t sit here like my cousin Annette and say “I didn’t love her” (it's not an attack Annette, I respect your feelings and don't blame you at all...)… I didn’t adore her… Yes, I did not have that extent of love for her as I do my grandmother, but I did care about her. There are stories and tales of all 8 of these siblings that doesn’t justify, yet explains, why most of them were the way they were. I just feel its sad family only gets fully together during a funeral and that’s not what family should be. That could be my naivety but, that’s my feeling on the matter. Sad to know who she really might’ve been after she was gone… “Tia Delia, rest in peace, I’m sorry I had such a feeling of indifference towards you…it’s not that I didn’t care… it’s just the fact that I built indifference towards you because you had it towards me and my family… I hope wherever you are now, you realize that love & family during life is the most important thing that can be given to you during life, as mote to be”
R.I.P Tia Delia ♥