I never really paid close attention to the words of songs until recently. I mean, I realize like 90% of songs are about love in some way, but probably 70% of that 90% are about broken hearts. There would be very little music if no one ever got dumped. I can't really listen to much anymore because either 1) the song was one he/we particularly ( Read more... )

i want last year back.
i guess all good things must come to an end.
not a day goes by that i don't think about him. what is wrong with me? he so very clearly doesn't feel the same way. why can't i get that?

Got into Orlando Monday afternoon. We had to fly to Ft. Lauderdale first, which is southeast of here. Spirit airlines blows. I've never experienced such unfriendly and rude airline employees. My parents' seats on the second flight had vomit in them which was not cleaned. My dad says next time he'll do the direct flight on Southwest because it'd ( Read more... )

Not a good week for me. Combined with pms I'm feeling...I hate to use the word, but 'depressed.' Everything seems so bleak. Still crying all the time. I knew it would be bad but not this bad. I'm stuck on that thought, I don't really know how to continue. I get why he thinks made the right decision, because he determined I'm not right for him ( Read more... )

my my how quickly things change. and by 'things' i mean his feelings. 3.5 weeks ago, he was visiting me and [i thought] everything was fine. 2 weeks ago, he breaks up with me making it seem like it was a difficult decision that he was still uncertain about. 1 week ago he says he's still not really sure it was right, but still wants to be at ( Read more... )

i haven't talked to him since before i left. i wonder if he ever thinks about me even half as much as i think about him. probably not. i want to talk to him but i would feel dumb making the effort. he knows how to reach me if he wanted to. i don't feel like doing anything or seeing anyone, sorry. i'm gonna need at least a few months.

home finally. i hate driving that far. i stopped twice. good old civic got little over 40 miles per gallon the first leg bc i didn't use AC, and 38 mpg the second leg. there was so much traffic outside oklahoma city that it came to a standstill on i-35 and i took out my laptop and played free cell. more traffic in fort worth and stupid austin ( Read more... )

i just keep thinking thinking thinking thinking and thinking some more. i try not to. i think about how much i enjoyed visiting him at his house and seeing where he came from. i think about how that's what i ideally see my life turning out to be. i think about him coming home with me for spring break and going through all our old family photos. ( Read more... )

well, fuck me. it's 10 after and i called danae with no answer and she is not here yet. looks like i'm stuck for another 2 hours. i want to just leave. it's not like anything will happen.

it's almost been a week now, but it still feels like i just got off the phone after the call. fucking everything reminds me of him. it's killing me, seriously. when i start to miss him really bad and entertain thoughts of reconciliation, ie all the fucking time, i try repeating in my head over and over 'he's just not that into you he's just not ( Read more... )