Hm, hi
Hello guys;
First of all I owe you an apology for falling off the face of the earth like that. I've been, well, busy seems like such a pedantic thing to say. Let's just say I've been in a really weird and distant state of mind. I finally forced myself to write this because I turn 24 today and I'm really weird about birthdays, which doesn't help my general mood.
Last time I posted T.E. Lawrence was keeping me company. He's still here. I became so enamored with him I decided to write a thesis about him. Well, sort of. The main reason I've been away for such a long time is because I had the bright idea to sign up for a nine months long seminar on cinema, history and literature where I have to write a sort-of-but-not-quite thesis related to these subjects. So in a subconscious prank to myself I chose the four hours long movie and the 1000 pages long book to work with. Still, I think both Lawrence and Peter O'Toole are worth all the times I feel like sobbing with stress. And really guys, if you think in the movie Lawrence is awesome and complicated the real T.E. was ten times as much.
I've spent the last seven months getting used to school again, researching, researching, researching, and having one-sided conversations with the picture of a dead man. I read your posts whenever I can, but I've been in a most shameful lurker mode. I'm turning into an obsessed, awkward, self-deprecating, prone to depression loon; which is hardly surprising given that I spent most of my day thinking about an obsessed, awkward, self-deprecating, prone to depression loon. The only social life I have is at have is at school, but it's ok, my classmates are brilliant and we get along beautifully.
So, that's what I've been doing, and I still got at least two months to go. And, to be honest things are going to be even more stressing from now on because, that non-thesis has to be ready in a month and a half and I've only written five pages of it. Also, after ages of being blocked I'm getting all the cool writing ideas precisely now when I don't have the time to develop them.
Well, such is life. I promise to start showing signs of life again, even if it's just to babble about my paper.
Ta.