updates from the unconscious

[cuddlebabyjess]

well i haven't been updating lately.....i don't know......i just haven't really felt like telling the world what's going on, how i am, what i feel, etc......you understand......well alot has been going on for a while now.....hell breaks loose in a week.......we'll see how that goes......i just want it to all be over so i can go back to living cause

Comments

resopnse

[dirtresearch]

some of your statments in this thing make me nervous. Is there some thing I need to know, some thing you need to tell me?

(it's you that has stopped me from saying those words that i can't or shouldn't say, that'll change everything, possibly ruin everything......it's just been so hard to hold back but it wouldn't be fair to anyone to jump that far.......how can i move forward without the necessary first steps, the changes that must be made for happiness, for life, for survival)

(neither of them have it......does anyone?)

Re: resopnse

[cuddlebabyjess]

i actually wasn't talking about you being the person stopping me from saying something......she has made me think a bit which has stopped me from saying some things to you.......not anything bad like i know you must be thinking......i didn't clarify myself too well and partially that was on purpose.......i wanted to be vague so that you didn't know what i was talking about but it isn't what you are thinking at all......believe me it isn't bad........i know it's very hard to do that right now but you aren't going to be hurt if i eventually say what's in my mind

Re: resopnse

[dirtresearch]

then just say it don't make it sound worse than it realy is if it isn't bad at all

Re: resopnse

[cuddlebabyjess]

do you know why i couldn't/wouldn't say it.....it's not that it wasn't bad but it was something that i didn't have a right to say......it isn't fair for either of us.....i don't want to ruin this by saying something too soon......i hope i didn't......i want someday.....i want today and tomorrow and forever.....whether or not you can give that to me is in you.......i thought you could which is why i asked but i understand that is more than either of us can offer right now......so i wait dreaming of someday