It's not just you. Unfortunately, too many of the people making that argument seem to really: A - believe it 2 - believe that they are OWED getting laid
That's how I feel when I've been reading all the recent blog posts on this. No matter how it starts out sooner or later someone will bring up men who have Asberger's or something of that ilk. The other thing I see (albeit less often) is about women who do not have the ability to say no.
The former is a matter of behavior that, while intuitive to many (dare I say most) people, can be learned. The former is much more problematic in that it is never a person's fault if another person is foisting unwanted attention on them. But we are talking about a survival behavior for women. While difficult, teaching a women to "make a scene" can be helpful when a harasser won't take know for an answer.
By teaching and practicing this with women, especially those who may have problems being assertive for themselves, it won't stop every creep but it will certainly stop (as well as identify) some of them.
The bringing up of Aspberger's is odd to me. Yes, it is an issue, but there seems to be an underlying assumption that the onus is on women to be sympathetic just in case the creepiness is perception on their parts, or a seeming creepiness that would be difficult to unlearn. Does that mean that we need to take one for the team and go back to the embarrassed "I don't want to be mean" discomfort that creepers (and people who are bad at social cues) take for "Well, she didn't say no
( ... )
Yeah, prioritizing their desire to get laid over other people's need to feel safe is *all* kinds of messed up. It's amazing to me how oblivious so many people seem to be that.
Not just you. And there's also a fair (?) amount of "won't someone please think of the aspies," which is making a few of my aspie friends want to put development capital into groin-punch over IP technology.
But yeah, there's quite a lot of " the world owesme a chance to get laid." Why the world doesn't owe the women at cons a chance to feel safe at a con is somehow never explained.
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Unfortunately, too many of the people making that argument seem to really:
A - believe it
2 - believe that they are OWED getting laid
Welcome to rape culture 101 and privilege 101.
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The former is a matter of behavior that, while intuitive to many (dare I say most) people, can be learned. The former is much more problematic in that it is never a person's fault if another person is foisting unwanted attention on them. But we are talking about a survival behavior for women. While difficult, teaching a women to "make a scene" can be helpful when a harasser won't take know for an answer.
By teaching and practicing this with women, especially those who may have problems being assertive for themselves, it won't stop every creep but it will certainly stop (as well as identify) some of them.
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Yeah, prioritizing their desire to get laid over other people's need to feel safe is *all* kinds of messed up. It's amazing to me how oblivious so many people seem to be that.
Reply
But yeah, there's quite a lot of " the world owesme a chance to get laid." Why the world doesn't owe the women at cons a chance to feel safe at a con is somehow never explained.
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