Fic: Phantom Pains
Title: Phantom Pains
Author: shana
Dedication: For serpent_849 because she asked for this in ficmas.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. Also, not true. I made it all up.
Pairing: Luka Modric/Roman Pavlyuchenko
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Takes place in Modric's first year with Real Madrid.
The trainer's room has a medical smell. It's not like the one found in the hospital, not bleach and sickness, but the smell always brings up memories of his time with Hotspur. Near the end, it seemed like every other day one of them was in the trainer's room for something.
It makes him think of Roma because Roma is linked to Tottenham in his mind. He has been since they first connected on the pitch and will be until long after Luka stops playing.
It makes the trainer's room in Madrid a bittersweet place to be. He misses Roma. The connection between then was something so special, and he still feels like things weren't fair to either of them at the end of their time at Hotspurs. He'll probably always feel that way.
If they were completely fair, Roma might have ended up with a transfer closer to Spain. That would have been much better for them as a couple.
Trying to have a relationship between Spain and Russia is difficult. They have their club seasons at different times, and that means they don't have a lot of time to spend together, so he has times, like this, where he is almost overwhelmed by memories of what used to be a big part of his life. If it's not what was that haunts him, it's what could have been.
It's not that he and Roma don't try their best to stay connected and keep involved in each other's lives. They don't always have the most success, but honestly, they have more success than he thought they would.
The strain that put him in this room doesn't pull and bother him like it did to start. He feels like he's ready to rejoin the rest of the squad for training, but he knows he has to try to trust the medical staff. It's harder now because he has his doubts about how complicit the Hotspur trainers were in getting him and Roma declared fit for the transfer market.
He ended up in Madrid with a chance to play with some of the best footballers in the world.
And still in the trainer's room.
He grabs his mobile to send Roma a message. He's not expecting a response. The time difference between Russia and Spain is still large enough to be inconvenient.
He sets his mobile to the side when the trainer comes in. He passes both the fitness tests and tests for movement without pain. He's cleared to train with the rest of the squad, and he feels relief.
He can get started on the whole process of making a good name for himself in Spain. When he gets back to his home, he checks his mobile to see that Roma's sent him back questions about his treatment and how he's feel in training.
Luka sends back answer and questions about how Roma is settling in at Lokomotiv.
This isn't what they want, but it will have to do until there's some sort of break. He can go to visit Roma then, or Roma can come to Spain. It's what their relationship consists of now. He's pretty sure he was right to think of Roma in the trainer's room.
Their relationship is like an injury. It's all about waiting and the getting the timing right. Treatment and management. Getting through each of the tests that come their way.
He never thought he'd compare being with Roma to a pulled muscle or a twisted ankle, but it seems like the right comparison. It's like how he still expects to see Roma waiting on the other side of the door when he leaves the trainer's room. Roma's like a muscle strain. He still feels Roma even though it doesn't actually hurt anymore.
Fini.
Happy Holidays, lovely!
S
Author: shana
Dedication: For serpent_849 because she asked for this in ficmas.
Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. Also, not true. I made it all up.
Pairing: Luka Modric/Roman Pavlyuchenko
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Takes place in Modric's first year with Real Madrid.
The trainer's room has a medical smell. It's not like the one found in the hospital, not bleach and sickness, but the smell always brings up memories of his time with Hotspur. Near the end, it seemed like every other day one of them was in the trainer's room for something.
It makes him think of Roma because Roma is linked to Tottenham in his mind. He has been since they first connected on the pitch and will be until long after Luka stops playing.
It makes the trainer's room in Madrid a bittersweet place to be. He misses Roma. The connection between then was something so special, and he still feels like things weren't fair to either of them at the end of their time at Hotspurs. He'll probably always feel that way.
If they were completely fair, Roma might have ended up with a transfer closer to Spain. That would have been much better for them as a couple.
Trying to have a relationship between Spain and Russia is difficult. They have their club seasons at different times, and that means they don't have a lot of time to spend together, so he has times, like this, where he is almost overwhelmed by memories of what used to be a big part of his life. If it's not what was that haunts him, it's what could have been.
It's not that he and Roma don't try their best to stay connected and keep involved in each other's lives. They don't always have the most success, but honestly, they have more success than he thought they would.
The strain that put him in this room doesn't pull and bother him like it did to start. He feels like he's ready to rejoin the rest of the squad for training, but he knows he has to try to trust the medical staff. It's harder now because he has his doubts about how complicit the Hotspur trainers were in getting him and Roma declared fit for the transfer market.
He ended up in Madrid with a chance to play with some of the best footballers in the world.
And still in the trainer's room.
He grabs his mobile to send Roma a message. He's not expecting a response. The time difference between Russia and Spain is still large enough to be inconvenient.
He sets his mobile to the side when the trainer comes in. He passes both the fitness tests and tests for movement without pain. He's cleared to train with the rest of the squad, and he feels relief.
He can get started on the whole process of making a good name for himself in Spain. When he gets back to his home, he checks his mobile to see that Roma's sent him back questions about his treatment and how he's feel in training.
Luka sends back answer and questions about how Roma is settling in at Lokomotiv.
This isn't what they want, but it will have to do until there's some sort of break. He can go to visit Roma then, or Roma can come to Spain. It's what their relationship consists of now. He's pretty sure he was right to think of Roma in the trainer's room.
Their relationship is like an injury. It's all about waiting and the getting the timing right. Treatment and management. Getting through each of the tests that come their way.
He never thought he'd compare being with Roma to a pulled muscle or a twisted ankle, but it seems like the right comparison. It's like how he still expects to see Roma waiting on the other side of the door when he leaves the trainer's room. Roma's like a muscle strain. He still feels Roma even though it doesn't actually hurt anymore.
Fini.
Happy Holidays, lovely!
S