Comments | cuiel_rilwen: Stripping it to the bones

cuiel_rilwen

Stripping it to the bones

Sep 21, 2009 22:56

This is how it is: Fløya can put up nets and targets and pretend to have an archery club and that will also get them monetary support from the county. We can report them to the county for forgery but the county will not want to investigate cus it will force them to withdraw the support and that will lead Fløya to bankruptcy. With all the kids ( Read more... )

Comments 6

ami_dessin September 23 2009, 15:23:07 UTC

Hmmm... are you sure that the county wouldn't want to investigate Fløya or that it would lead to more expense? They sound like a bunch of bullies... At least they're allowing you to move the range.

I thought "Anonymous" made a really good point a little while ago, "Struggling leaders will make followers with split loyalty take sides or shy away altogether." You aren't an island - and the weight of the club succeeding or failing doesn't lie on your shoulders. It's a group of people - all of whom benefit from its success. And all of whom have to be willing to work to avoid failure.

"Their needs" don't "make" you go thru anything - it's your choice. If you're miserable there and are brought down so terribly by H's attitude towards you, then you can choose not to do it. If these are truly friends, they won't need your happiness to take a back seat to theirs (that kind of selfishness should only be tolerated by our young children). As for "it will pass" - geez, it's nearly been a year since all unraveled. Perhaps if you stick to BA's ( ... )

cuiel_rilwen September 23 2009, 15:54:24 UTC

I don't know for sure, I just know politics, and I really don't have the energy to dig into it ( ... )

ami_dessin September 23 2009, 17:42:44 UTC

Sorry that it's been so distressing for you and so glad that April was there :) If you've come to a place of revelation/catharsis, then the struggle isn't in vain. I don't think it's throwing in the towel - you've extended yourself as far as is wise or reasonable. It's an opportunity to chart a new course. You need a creative channel that's clear - this one has been blocked for too long.

As women, there's a biologic imperative to suppress one's own feelings for the sake of offspring. Which is fine to a point, but eventually we have to send them on their own way, in order for them to grow, in order to grow ourselves. I'm sure you will find another place to shine (if not one so far off as Borg!) and the club will either survive or fail with no blame. It's simply not a viable avenue for you anymore. Situations change and people change... or is it just our perception of them? Whatever the mechanism, I don't think blame is involved.

cuiel_rilwen September 23 2009, 18:31:44 UTC

No experience is ever in vain. We are all the sum of the experiences we have and the choices we make. And yes, I know it is a new course. I've known for some time that I have to take it.

I am not their mother yet I have felt the responsibility for them as if I was...not all the time, mostly these past nine months. I do love them. But they have to make it on their own now.

I even still love him...I always will. It's not like I can choose not to. But I can choose not to be hurt to the point of feeling sick. In order not to I have to create the necessary distance between us.

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