I don't know how to hate you. I've been trying really hard to hate you these past couple of weeks but I can't do it. I want to, because maybe then all of this crap will stop bothering me so much, but I can't. you fucked up Eric. and for that I dislike you a lot. I feel like I lost a part of myself. not because you don't want to be my friend. no. becuase you know so many things about me. you know all of my secrets and it scares me. I know that writing this to you probably isn't going to help me move on at all, but I'm running out of ideas here. nothing helps. I dwell on things too much. it sucks for me. I'm glad that not being my friend is so much better for you. I'm glad your life is so easy now that you jsut have allie to deal with and she's getting better. I'm glad that you don't feel like you've lost anything. but I want you to understan that I've lost so much. I lost a friend that I trusted. I've lost some of the trust I have in Allie because she is still friends with you and I'm paranoid. and I've lost trust in people in general
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