Honeytrap - Chapter 8 of 8
Honeytrap - Chapter 8 of 8
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Adam/Kris
Summary: Adam Lambert and Kris Allen are best friends and Special Agents for the US government. When a syndicate needs infiltrating, the Director turns to Agent Lambert because of his ‘special’ qualifications. Agent Allen is not happy with his best friend being thrust into this situation but supports him anyway, professionally and personally. As the case progresses, Adam finds himself getting in over his head, causing Kris’ protective instincts - and buried feelings - to kick in.
Disclaimer: Pure fiction. I do not own anyone. I have researched some information on the spy game but not too much. Mostly based on TV shows.
Warnings: violence, dom/sub, sexual situations, dubious non-con, angst
A “honeytrap” is the use of seduction in a spy operation.
Thank you to everyone who read my story. An even bigger thank you for your patience and understanding when it took a while to update. Hope it’s worth the wait
Masterlist - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/93228.html
CHAPTER 8: WRAPPING UP
“Adam, we’re going to be late.”
“Coming … just give me minute.”
Kris was about to give Adam his tenth minute. Rubbing his neck, he paced back and forth from the living room to the kitchen to the living room and back again. When this day was months away, they looked forward to it. Now that it was here, they wished it was just over.
“Adam ….”
“Hold on!”
He wanted to grab a beer so badly but it wouldn’t do to show up with alcohol on his breath. Instead, Kris grabbed a cold water and sat at the kitchen table, foot tapping on the floor and fingers drumming on the table.
Two months ago the biggest case of their careers had come to a dramatic close. Their target, the prey for the Agency’s honeytrap, had been arrested with enough evidence to put him away for life, but the victory had been bittersweet. In the process, one of the government’s top agents and his best friend had nearly lost his life.
Thinking back on what he’d walked in on still sent shivers down Kris’ spin. After a frantic search, he’d located a secret doorway in Reggie O’Dowd’s basement. No sooner had it opened then gun shots rang out ….
FLASHBACK
Kris tore off into the darkness …There was one door at the end of the hall. Kris and Matt took up position on each side, guns ready.
“Federal Agents … we’re coming in!” Kris shouted.
The only sound was groaning. Matt tried the doorknob from his side, finding it locked. He moved to the side and fired his gun until the lock ceased to exist. He then kicked in the door and the trio hurried in, quickly accessing the situation before lowering their firearms. The smell of blood was overwhelming. The first person they spotted was the one writhing on the floor with three bullet wounds in his shoulder, upper arm and side. Reggie was conscious but in a lot of pain. Matt called for the EMTs while Kris turned to the unconscious man in the corner. There wasn’t a lot of light but there was enough to see how badly hurt his friend was. Kris called his name yet there was no reply. He gently pressed two fingers against a pulse point and let out a hug breath when he felt that heart still beating, albeit weakly.
It was then that he looked around and spotted the critical piece of the puzzle, how Reggie ended up shot and Adam unconscious. Both men were naked from the waist down; what was happening more than clear. Kris couldn’t care less about Reggie’s humiliation but he took off his jacket and covered Adam up. He talked softly, reassuringly, promising him he was safe, that it was all over. Kris’ knee bumped against something hard and he located the gun, the handle sitting idle on Adam’s limp palm.
FLASH FORWARD
The road to recovery had been long and painful. Reggie and his assholes had injured Adam’s spine with their kicking, affecting the muscles and nerves leading to his legs. The trial couldn’t wait for the key witness so Adam’s testimony was recorded from his hospital bed and aired in court. The physical effects of the beating still painted his face and may have helped the prosecutor’s case, a visual for the jury that dramatically got the point home about how dangerous that criminal was.
Once the trial ended and Reggie was locked away, the young agent put all his energy into rehab. Despite everything he’d been through, Adam remained optimistic, determined to get his life back. He dutifully went through rehab with a smile on his face. Once he was able to walk - albeit with elbow crutches - he was released as an outpatient. Leila insisted on moving in to help him and he gratefully accepted her help. While she ran errands, Kris drove his best friend to his rehab appointments and stayed to cheer him on. Stopping for ice cream and parking by the beach became their daily celebration for living. Both men had looked forward to this little ritual, describing it as their weekly dates. After professing their love to each other in the hospital, they took it slow. They kissed now and again but their priority was getting Adam well. Everything after that was icing on the cake.
A wheelchair had been sent home with Adam but he refused to use it, insisting he wouldn’t be walking on his own if he fell back on the chair. Well, that logic was flawed and he overdid it, ending up back in the chair and his rehab suspended until he gave his body a rest. The optimism flew out the window and he fell into a depression. With the depression came nightmares, all of them connected to O’Dowd. Adam would awake screaming and it wasn’t until his mom held him that he calmed. As the depression deepened, so did the terror Adam relived. In his nightmares, Reggie hadn’t been stopped in that windowless room deep under his house. He succeeded in raping him brutally before letting his men have a go at him. Adam told his mom and Kris he didn’t remember but he did; he definitely didn’t want Kris to know that he was there in his dreams, screaming Adam’s name but being held back by Director Cowell ordering him not to interfere in the investigation.
Kris ended up moving in since he found himself practically living there, making at least two trips a day and nearly every night following Leila’s frantic phone calls. As much as she loved her son, she couldn’t handle him anymore. Kris was technically staying in the guest room but in actuality he spent every night in Adam’s bed, holding him, keeping the demons at bay and calming his friend when a few snuck through into his dreams. Gradually Adam’s depression went away and when he was able to return to rehab, he took it easy this time.
Heat blossomed on Kris’ cheeks as he recalled how they celebrated the day Adam lost ….
“Okay G-man, let’s get this over with.”
Adam was already at the door waiting for him, dressed in one of his best suits, dark hair neatly combed and beard impeccable, and a silver caped walking stick held tightly in his fist. Kris left his untouched water bottle on the table, dug his keys out of his pocket with one hand and reached for the doorknob with the other. Before his fingers could curl around the brass orb, they were intercepted by another set of fingers, intertwining with his and lifted up for a gentle kiss.
“I couldn’t have gotten through these months without you,” Adam softly uttered, now holding their entwined hands against his heart.
Kris smiled that crooked grin that Adam treasured and step towards the taller man until Kris could feel his love’s heart beat against his own.
“You would have found the light, I just wanted to be there for you.”
“You were.”
“And I’m gonna keep being there.”
“You better be.” Adam leaned down and they kissed slowly, aware they didn’t have much time and needing to savor each millisecond. “We’re going to be late.”
“I’ve been telling you that forever,” Kris reminded him.
“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind, you know?”
Kris kissed his man again quickly.
“I know, so let’s get this over with.”
~ ♥ ~
The drive was quiet. Adam sat in the passenger seat, looking at the scenery and chewing on his lips. Today was big and the weight of what could happen was heavy on his shoulders. He glanced sideways at Kris who was concentrating on the road.
Kris would get them there safe; Kris always kept him safe.
Adam had been treading water, it seemed, for months. He vaguely remembered waking in the hospital and finding Kris at his side. Through a haze of pain and confusion the one thing clear in his mind was his love for his best friend. Lying in a hospital bed wasn’t that romantic but he’d come too close to losing it all and it couldn’t wait any longer. Hearing Kris say ‘I love you’ back was better medicine than anything the medical profession could offer.
It had been rough … Adam had been a bitch … there was anger and pain and resentment and self-pity … much of the time they had been swimming in a toxic cocktail ….
“Ad?”
Adam slowly turned his head, for a moment still lost in his thoughts.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“What?”
“Today … it’s going to be okay.”
‘It’s going to be okay’ - Kris always said that. Adam smiled and turned back to the window.
Kris had never wavered. When it counted, and when it didn’t, Kris was there and Adam was convinced without his help, they wouldn’t be here ….
And here was a beautiful place to be.
~ ♥ ~
REMINISCING …
Closing his eyes, Adam willed the dark memories away and returned to a special night one week ago that changed everything. Had it only been one week? It seemed like it had always been this way.
Adam had just finished his last round of rehab and the two men had gone out to celebrate. With his new stylin’ walking stick (it sounded swankier than ‘cane’) in one hand and Kris’ strong hand in the other, they’d gone out to dinner at a romantic bistro in Venice Beach and then for a walk under a full moon. They tried walking on the sand but the unsteadiness of the powdery ground was aggravating his hip so they stuck to the boardwalk. Finishing the night in traditional fashion with ice cream cones, they headed home.
Adam headed straight for the couch and slowly sat, let out a long sigh as the weight came off his hips and legs. He closed his eyes, waiting for Kris to join him with the TV remote to begin the nightly ritual of arguing over what to watch. When the side of the cushion didn’t compress, he opened his eyes to see Kris still standing at the door, hands shoved into his jacket pockets and looking around with a sudden discomfort.
“Well, if you’re going to be like that we can watch what you want tonight, although I expect no arguments when True Blood comes on tomorrow night,” Adam teased. When no comeback was uttered, he realized something was wrong and asked his best friend as much.
“I … um … I guess I should,” he muttered, looking everywhere but at Adam. “Yeah, I guess I should go … pack.”
“Pack? Why?”
“Rehab is over … you’re getting around okay on your own ….”
“I’m still using a cane and I’m won’t be 100% anymore.”
“But you’re coping … you’re doing great … really!”
“That’s not enough reasons Kristopher.”
Kris rubbed his neck, “You aren’t having nightmares anymore.”
“Because you’re holding me close at night, keeping the demons away.”
The younger man didn’t know how to reply to that so he just shrugged, “Well, this was temporary to begin with and we’re going back to work soon and things have to get back to normal.”
Adam knew there was more to this than weak excuses but his heart was in his throat at the thought of Kris moving out and he couldn’t challenge him anymore. Kris took the silence for agreement and headed towards the guest bedroom. On the way by, Adam’s hand came out and caught his wrist, stopping him dead in his tracks. With a firm but demanding tug, Kris came around the side of the couch and sat beside him.
“I don’t need normal baby … I need you.”
Kris turned an adorable pink as Adam cupped his jaw and drew him close. The kisses were slow and deep, yearning to strengthen the connection already between them. They moved closer to each other, tried to climb inside each other until Adam pulled away and awkwardly attempted to get to his feet. Immediately, Kris grew concerned.
“You alright? Leg cramp?”
“No … no, help me up.”
Once both men were on their feet, Adam took Kris’ hand and headed towards the back of the house.
“Where?”
“The bedroom,” Adam replied softly, moving as fast as he could without his cane.
“Do you need to lie down?”
They’d reached the bedroom and the bed by now and Adam reclined, pulling Kris down on top of him.
“Something like that.”
The kissing resumed and the clothes disappeared. They didn’t need to speak, they just knew it was time to leave behind the careful, hesitant touches that grew out of concern for Adam’s physical health. With the cane forgotten on the floor, the men made love for the first time. During those months with Reggie O’Dowd, Adam had vowed never to bottom again. Kris was inexperienced and had no problem with Adam being in charge. The problem was it was difficult to move on top of his lover so Adam became a top from the bottom. He tenderly worshiped Kris’ body and when it was time to come together, Adam laid on his back and watched in awe as they slowly joined. Seeing the emotions cross over that adorable face was mesmerizing. Every word, every instruction was followed. Adam took hold of his lover’s hips and helped him move in unison. There were several men in Adam’s past but the connection had never been this real … this strong … this perfect. Nearly loosing this chance to love each other was overwhelming and both men came together, gasping for precious air and crying out for each other.
Kris had tried to speak but all that came out was gibberish. Adam beamed and him and laughed. They were now lying side by side, just looking at each other. Kris laid a warm hand over Adam’s heart.
“I love you.”
That precious declaration welled up deep in Adam’s chest and he couldn’t breathe. An indescribable feeling overtook him and his body began shaking in deep sobs. Kris gathered him tight in his arms, rocking the larger man in his arms, reassuring him everything was going to be okay, that he was here to stay.
Later that night, in the silence of their bedroom, Adam had laid awake with a killer headache, trying to figure out what happened. He couldn’t put a name to it but it was something trapped deep in his soul that Kris’ three little words had busted free. A heaviness he hadn’t realized he was carrying was gone and the gap had been filled with light. He spooned Kris against his front and closed his eyes, finally at peace ….
~ ♥ ~
“Hey … Adam? You okay?”
Adam wiped the blur out of his eyes and looked around. The car was parked in front of an all too familiar building and the passenger door was open. Kris was kneeling, holding his hand and looking up at him with concern.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah … we’re here already?”
Kris looked back at the federal building and nodded.
“We don’t have to go in just yet.”
Adam looked at his watch.
“Actually we do.”
“He can wait.” A gentle finger swiped under his eye. “Sure you’re okay? What happened?”
“Remembering.”
“Oh … um, about R- ….”
“About us,” he softly replied, blushing a little. “It’s still soooo ….”
A crooked smile appeared, “Yeah, for me too.”
Unhooking his seatbelt, Adam leaned in and they kissed quickly.
“If I don’t get in there, he’s going to send Matt out to find us.”
“Oh God, then we better move,” Kris declared in horror.
Laughing, they headed inside. A couple of times their hands brushed and both had to fight the urge to clasp on. This wasn’t the place or time to let the cat out of the bag. In the lobby, Adam was welcomed back with handshakes, nods and smiles. When the elevator opened on the fifth floor, the welcome was more tangible … and very loud. All their closest colleagues were on their feet, applauding him and balloons were anchored to his desk. The handshaking and catching-up just started when the Director’s assistant appeared and ushered him down the hall.
“So, have you two had sex yet?”
At first Kris wasn’t sure he heard that over all the racket of the people getting back to work. One look at Matt’s mischievous grin told him he had unfortunately heard right.
He prayed to God no one else had heard the big mouth.
Grabbing him by the upper arm, Kris hauled him into an interrogation room and slammed the door.
“Why Kristopher, this is perfect,” Matt teased, leading Kris to a chair, pushing him down, and morphing into government agent mode, arms crossed and face serious.
“Mr. Allen, all the evidence collected over the past few months has supported my theory that you and Mr. Lambert have the hots for each other.” He slammed the metal table with his fist and shouted, “I dare you to dispute the facts!”
Kris got real uncomfortable real fast and Matt dropped the charade. He meant it to be funny but felt like shit when he saw his buddy fidget and rub his neck like he was trying to saw his head off. Dragging a chair next to his cohort, he sat and apologized.
“It’s … it’s okay Matt, it’s just ….”
“Oh. My. God. You love him.”
Kris nodded quickly.
“And he loves you”
A shy smile warmed his face and Kris nodded again.
“When … I mean, I don’t need details but … when did you two figure it out?”
“Years ago?” To his credit, Matt didn’t react with the surprise he felt. Instead, he placed a supportive hand on the other man’s shoulder. “Adam told me he’s had a crush on me since the Academy. Guess I was a late bloomer, ignorant, or in denial.”
“Duh, I think I had suspicions before you did.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it. Cowell should promote you.”
“Forget it, I like it better in the pit. So when did you put two and two together?”
“I guess it started during this last assignment. Thinking about Adam being touched by ….”
“’nough said about that.”
“Right. Well, that whole episode with him missing and then hurt and I finally admitted it to myself. It’s taken time … I didn’t want to rush things while he was recovering … but we finally … you know … and I’m an idiot for wasting all those years and I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to him, if he’ll let me.”
Matt gave Kris a hug.
“No worries there buddy, no worries there.”
~ ♥ ~
Adam was greeted by Director Cowell with a stiff handshake and lukewarm cup of coffee. Adam took a seat and pasted a smile on his face as his boss went on and on about how proud the Agency was with his work and how much of a valued team member his was. This was all just smoke and mirrors to hide the real reason he was here.
The moment Adam learned he was going to be saddled with a cane for the rest of his life he knew his days as an undercover agent were over. Oh sure, he could have still been an agent but not the kind of agent he wanted to be. Adam also knew he wouldn’t be fired, just reassigned. Odds were he’d get a paper-pushers job with a tiny window to tease him with the world outside. He’d rather Reggie had killed him than be trapped behind four walls.
Sure enough, once Cowell stopped praising him, reality struck. It wasn’t quite as bad as he thought. He was being offered an executive position but it still came with a desk and lots of paper. A big fat raise went along with it but Adam wasn’t into this job for the money.
“Agent Lambert, you have one week to let us know your decision.”
Adam stood and offered his hand, “I don’t need a week to decide Director. I can tell you my answer right now.”
~ ♥ ~
The waves crashed on the beach as Adam and Kris relaxed on the bench, licking their ice cream cones.
“I wish I could have seen his face when you resigned.”
“For a split second, I swear his façade cracked but he held it together.”
“So … what now?”
Adam reached over and took Kris’ hand as it rested on his lap.
“I’m not sure. I’ve got a pretty tidy sum coming to me in my pension and I don’t fancy it sitting around in the bank.”
“What about travel?”
“I’ve travelled already.”
“Yeah, but most of that was for work or rejuvenating to get back to work. I mean go someplace just to relax and forget about things.”
“I’d only do that if you were with me.”
“Point taken. I used up this year’s vacation time to help you recuperate.”
Adam leaned over and kissed a blob of pecan ice cream off the corner of his lover’s mouth.
“Have I told you how much I appreciate your tender loving care?”
Kris turned his head enough to make lip contact.
“Yes, and don’t stop. I don’t know how I’m going to handle work without you there. We’ve been partners forever.”
“We don’t have to stop being partners baby. You asked what I wanted to do with myself? Actually, I’ve had this thought for a few years now that I’d like to set up my own security consulting business. Sure, there’ll be some paperwork but I can hire an assistant to handle that so I get out in the field. I’d of course have others working for me but I could use a partner to help run the operation. Whataya say?”
Kris knew exactly what to say. He was happy with his job and had never given another line of work thought but with Adam leaving, would he still be happy? No. If he and Adam started their own agency, would he be happy? Spending 24/7 with his lover and best friend? Hell yeah!
“I say my name should go before yours on the business cards and letter head because alphabetically speaking it sounds better. However, if you agree to hire a lady assistant or a butt ugly man, I’ll relent and your name can top mine.”
“So you like being on bottom then?”
“Only if you’re on top.”
“I guess you’re unemployed then.”
“In two weeks, yeah.”
Adam turned back to his melting ice cream and look a long, slow lick up the cone. Kris’ pants suddenly got tight.
“Wonderful. It will give me time to find a location and get a license and plan the honeymoon.”
Kris had been thinking about the hardness between his legs and didn’t quite catch the last part.
“Back up there buddy. Did you say ‘honeymoon’?”
Adam took away Kris’ ice cream and dumped both cones into a trash can beside the bench. Turning, Adam then took Kris’ hands in his and smiled tenderly.
“I was trying to be clever and sneak that one in but you deserve better. Kris, I’ve loved you since forever and I want this partnership to be more than just business. After these last few months, I’ve come to realize how fleeting life can be. We nearly lost each other before we could love each other. I don’t want to waste another minute. Marry me.”
The proposal came out like a declaration, not a question but Kris didn’t care. There was no question what his answer would be.
“I don’t want Vegas, it’s too cheesy.”
“Reno?”
“Just as bad. Jamaica?”
“I burn too easily. How about ….”
Kris shut him up with a kiss.
It didn’t really matter where they went as long as they went together.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Adam/Kris
Summary: Adam Lambert and Kris Allen are best friends and Special Agents for the US government. When a syndicate needs infiltrating, the Director turns to Agent Lambert because of his ‘special’ qualifications. Agent Allen is not happy with his best friend being thrust into this situation but supports him anyway, professionally and personally. As the case progresses, Adam finds himself getting in over his head, causing Kris’ protective instincts - and buried feelings - to kick in.
Disclaimer: Pure fiction. I do not own anyone. I have researched some information on the spy game but not too much. Mostly based on TV shows.
Warnings: violence, dom/sub, sexual situations, dubious non-con, angst
A “honeytrap” is the use of seduction in a spy operation.
Thank you to everyone who read my story. An even bigger thank you for your patience and understanding when it took a while to update. Hope it’s worth the wait
Masterlist - http://cunningdeb.livejournal.com/93228.html
CHAPTER 8: WRAPPING UP
“Adam, we’re going to be late.”
“Coming … just give me minute.”
Kris was about to give Adam his tenth minute. Rubbing his neck, he paced back and forth from the living room to the kitchen to the living room and back again. When this day was months away, they looked forward to it. Now that it was here, they wished it was just over.
“Adam ….”
“Hold on!”
He wanted to grab a beer so badly but it wouldn’t do to show up with alcohol on his breath. Instead, Kris grabbed a cold water and sat at the kitchen table, foot tapping on the floor and fingers drumming on the table.
Two months ago the biggest case of their careers had come to a dramatic close. Their target, the prey for the Agency’s honeytrap, had been arrested with enough evidence to put him away for life, but the victory had been bittersweet. In the process, one of the government’s top agents and his best friend had nearly lost his life.
Thinking back on what he’d walked in on still sent shivers down Kris’ spin. After a frantic search, he’d located a secret doorway in Reggie O’Dowd’s basement. No sooner had it opened then gun shots rang out ….
FLASHBACK
Kris tore off into the darkness …There was one door at the end of the hall. Kris and Matt took up position on each side, guns ready.
“Federal Agents … we’re coming in!” Kris shouted.
The only sound was groaning. Matt tried the doorknob from his side, finding it locked. He moved to the side and fired his gun until the lock ceased to exist. He then kicked in the door and the trio hurried in, quickly accessing the situation before lowering their firearms. The smell of blood was overwhelming. The first person they spotted was the one writhing on the floor with three bullet wounds in his shoulder, upper arm and side. Reggie was conscious but in a lot of pain. Matt called for the EMTs while Kris turned to the unconscious man in the corner. There wasn’t a lot of light but there was enough to see how badly hurt his friend was. Kris called his name yet there was no reply. He gently pressed two fingers against a pulse point and let out a hug breath when he felt that heart still beating, albeit weakly.
It was then that he looked around and spotted the critical piece of the puzzle, how Reggie ended up shot and Adam unconscious. Both men were naked from the waist down; what was happening more than clear. Kris couldn’t care less about Reggie’s humiliation but he took off his jacket and covered Adam up. He talked softly, reassuringly, promising him he was safe, that it was all over. Kris’ knee bumped against something hard and he located the gun, the handle sitting idle on Adam’s limp palm.
FLASH FORWARD
The road to recovery had been long and painful. Reggie and his assholes had injured Adam’s spine with their kicking, affecting the muscles and nerves leading to his legs. The trial couldn’t wait for the key witness so Adam’s testimony was recorded from his hospital bed and aired in court. The physical effects of the beating still painted his face and may have helped the prosecutor’s case, a visual for the jury that dramatically got the point home about how dangerous that criminal was.
Once the trial ended and Reggie was locked away, the young agent put all his energy into rehab. Despite everything he’d been through, Adam remained optimistic, determined to get his life back. He dutifully went through rehab with a smile on his face. Once he was able to walk - albeit with elbow crutches - he was released as an outpatient. Leila insisted on moving in to help him and he gratefully accepted her help. While she ran errands, Kris drove his best friend to his rehab appointments and stayed to cheer him on. Stopping for ice cream and parking by the beach became their daily celebration for living. Both men had looked forward to this little ritual, describing it as their weekly dates. After professing their love to each other in the hospital, they took it slow. They kissed now and again but their priority was getting Adam well. Everything after that was icing on the cake.
A wheelchair had been sent home with Adam but he refused to use it, insisting he wouldn’t be walking on his own if he fell back on the chair. Well, that logic was flawed and he overdid it, ending up back in the chair and his rehab suspended until he gave his body a rest. The optimism flew out the window and he fell into a depression. With the depression came nightmares, all of them connected to O’Dowd. Adam would awake screaming and it wasn’t until his mom held him that he calmed. As the depression deepened, so did the terror Adam relived. In his nightmares, Reggie hadn’t been stopped in that windowless room deep under his house. He succeeded in raping him brutally before letting his men have a go at him. Adam told his mom and Kris he didn’t remember but he did; he definitely didn’t want Kris to know that he was there in his dreams, screaming Adam’s name but being held back by Director Cowell ordering him not to interfere in the investigation.
Kris ended up moving in since he found himself practically living there, making at least two trips a day and nearly every night following Leila’s frantic phone calls. As much as she loved her son, she couldn’t handle him anymore. Kris was technically staying in the guest room but in actuality he spent every night in Adam’s bed, holding him, keeping the demons at bay and calming his friend when a few snuck through into his dreams. Gradually Adam’s depression went away and when he was able to return to rehab, he took it easy this time.
Heat blossomed on Kris’ cheeks as he recalled how they celebrated the day Adam lost ….
“Okay G-man, let’s get this over with.”
Adam was already at the door waiting for him, dressed in one of his best suits, dark hair neatly combed and beard impeccable, and a silver caped walking stick held tightly in his fist. Kris left his untouched water bottle on the table, dug his keys out of his pocket with one hand and reached for the doorknob with the other. Before his fingers could curl around the brass orb, they were intercepted by another set of fingers, intertwining with his and lifted up for a gentle kiss.
“I couldn’t have gotten through these months without you,” Adam softly uttered, now holding their entwined hands against his heart.
Kris smiled that crooked grin that Adam treasured and step towards the taller man until Kris could feel his love’s heart beat against his own.
“You would have found the light, I just wanted to be there for you.”
“You were.”
“And I’m gonna keep being there.”
“You better be.” Adam leaned down and they kissed slowly, aware they didn’t have much time and needing to savor each millisecond. “We’re going to be late.”
“I’ve been telling you that forever,” Kris reminded him.
“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind, you know?”
Kris kissed his man again quickly.
“I know, so let’s get this over with.”
~ ♥ ~
The drive was quiet. Adam sat in the passenger seat, looking at the scenery and chewing on his lips. Today was big and the weight of what could happen was heavy on his shoulders. He glanced sideways at Kris who was concentrating on the road.
Kris would get them there safe; Kris always kept him safe.
Adam had been treading water, it seemed, for months. He vaguely remembered waking in the hospital and finding Kris at his side. Through a haze of pain and confusion the one thing clear in his mind was his love for his best friend. Lying in a hospital bed wasn’t that romantic but he’d come too close to losing it all and it couldn’t wait any longer. Hearing Kris say ‘I love you’ back was better medicine than anything the medical profession could offer.
It had been rough … Adam had been a bitch … there was anger and pain and resentment and self-pity … much of the time they had been swimming in a toxic cocktail ….
“Ad?”
Adam slowly turned his head, for a moment still lost in his thoughts.
“It’s going to be okay.”
“What?”
“Today … it’s going to be okay.”
‘It’s going to be okay’ - Kris always said that. Adam smiled and turned back to the window.
Kris had never wavered. When it counted, and when it didn’t, Kris was there and Adam was convinced without his help, they wouldn’t be here ….
And here was a beautiful place to be.
~ ♥ ~
REMINISCING …
Closing his eyes, Adam willed the dark memories away and returned to a special night one week ago that changed everything. Had it only been one week? It seemed like it had always been this way.
Adam had just finished his last round of rehab and the two men had gone out to celebrate. With his new stylin’ walking stick (it sounded swankier than ‘cane’) in one hand and Kris’ strong hand in the other, they’d gone out to dinner at a romantic bistro in Venice Beach and then for a walk under a full moon. They tried walking on the sand but the unsteadiness of the powdery ground was aggravating his hip so they stuck to the boardwalk. Finishing the night in traditional fashion with ice cream cones, they headed home.
Adam headed straight for the couch and slowly sat, let out a long sigh as the weight came off his hips and legs. He closed his eyes, waiting for Kris to join him with the TV remote to begin the nightly ritual of arguing over what to watch. When the side of the cushion didn’t compress, he opened his eyes to see Kris still standing at the door, hands shoved into his jacket pockets and looking around with a sudden discomfort.
“Well, if you’re going to be like that we can watch what you want tonight, although I expect no arguments when True Blood comes on tomorrow night,” Adam teased. When no comeback was uttered, he realized something was wrong and asked his best friend as much.
“I … um … I guess I should,” he muttered, looking everywhere but at Adam. “Yeah, I guess I should go … pack.”
“Pack? Why?”
“Rehab is over … you’re getting around okay on your own ….”
“I’m still using a cane and I’m won’t be 100% anymore.”
“But you’re coping … you’re doing great … really!”
“That’s not enough reasons Kristopher.”
Kris rubbed his neck, “You aren’t having nightmares anymore.”
“Because you’re holding me close at night, keeping the demons away.”
The younger man didn’t know how to reply to that so he just shrugged, “Well, this was temporary to begin with and we’re going back to work soon and things have to get back to normal.”
Adam knew there was more to this than weak excuses but his heart was in his throat at the thought of Kris moving out and he couldn’t challenge him anymore. Kris took the silence for agreement and headed towards the guest bedroom. On the way by, Adam’s hand came out and caught his wrist, stopping him dead in his tracks. With a firm but demanding tug, Kris came around the side of the couch and sat beside him.
“I don’t need normal baby … I need you.”
Kris turned an adorable pink as Adam cupped his jaw and drew him close. The kisses were slow and deep, yearning to strengthen the connection already between them. They moved closer to each other, tried to climb inside each other until Adam pulled away and awkwardly attempted to get to his feet. Immediately, Kris grew concerned.
“You alright? Leg cramp?”
“No … no, help me up.”
Once both men were on their feet, Adam took Kris’ hand and headed towards the back of the house.
“Where?”
“The bedroom,” Adam replied softly, moving as fast as he could without his cane.
“Do you need to lie down?”
They’d reached the bedroom and the bed by now and Adam reclined, pulling Kris down on top of him.
“Something like that.”
The kissing resumed and the clothes disappeared. They didn’t need to speak, they just knew it was time to leave behind the careful, hesitant touches that grew out of concern for Adam’s physical health. With the cane forgotten on the floor, the men made love for the first time. During those months with Reggie O’Dowd, Adam had vowed never to bottom again. Kris was inexperienced and had no problem with Adam being in charge. The problem was it was difficult to move on top of his lover so Adam became a top from the bottom. He tenderly worshiped Kris’ body and when it was time to come together, Adam laid on his back and watched in awe as they slowly joined. Seeing the emotions cross over that adorable face was mesmerizing. Every word, every instruction was followed. Adam took hold of his lover’s hips and helped him move in unison. There were several men in Adam’s past but the connection had never been this real … this strong … this perfect. Nearly loosing this chance to love each other was overwhelming and both men came together, gasping for precious air and crying out for each other.
Kris had tried to speak but all that came out was gibberish. Adam beamed and him and laughed. They were now lying side by side, just looking at each other. Kris laid a warm hand over Adam’s heart.
“I love you.”
That precious declaration welled up deep in Adam’s chest and he couldn’t breathe. An indescribable feeling overtook him and his body began shaking in deep sobs. Kris gathered him tight in his arms, rocking the larger man in his arms, reassuring him everything was going to be okay, that he was here to stay.
Later that night, in the silence of their bedroom, Adam had laid awake with a killer headache, trying to figure out what happened. He couldn’t put a name to it but it was something trapped deep in his soul that Kris’ three little words had busted free. A heaviness he hadn’t realized he was carrying was gone and the gap had been filled with light. He spooned Kris against his front and closed his eyes, finally at peace ….
~ ♥ ~
“Hey … Adam? You okay?”
Adam wiped the blur out of his eyes and looked around. The car was parked in front of an all too familiar building and the passenger door was open. Kris was kneeling, holding his hand and looking up at him with concern.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah … we’re here already?”
Kris looked back at the federal building and nodded.
“We don’t have to go in just yet.”
Adam looked at his watch.
“Actually we do.”
“He can wait.” A gentle finger swiped under his eye. “Sure you’re okay? What happened?”
“Remembering.”
“Oh … um, about R- ….”
“About us,” he softly replied, blushing a little. “It’s still soooo ….”
A crooked smile appeared, “Yeah, for me too.”
Unhooking his seatbelt, Adam leaned in and they kissed quickly.
“If I don’t get in there, he’s going to send Matt out to find us.”
“Oh God, then we better move,” Kris declared in horror.
Laughing, they headed inside. A couple of times their hands brushed and both had to fight the urge to clasp on. This wasn’t the place or time to let the cat out of the bag. In the lobby, Adam was welcomed back with handshakes, nods and smiles. When the elevator opened on the fifth floor, the welcome was more tangible … and very loud. All their closest colleagues were on their feet, applauding him and balloons were anchored to his desk. The handshaking and catching-up just started when the Director’s assistant appeared and ushered him down the hall.
“So, have you two had sex yet?”
At first Kris wasn’t sure he heard that over all the racket of the people getting back to work. One look at Matt’s mischievous grin told him he had unfortunately heard right.
He prayed to God no one else had heard the big mouth.
Grabbing him by the upper arm, Kris hauled him into an interrogation room and slammed the door.
“Why Kristopher, this is perfect,” Matt teased, leading Kris to a chair, pushing him down, and morphing into government agent mode, arms crossed and face serious.
“Mr. Allen, all the evidence collected over the past few months has supported my theory that you and Mr. Lambert have the hots for each other.” He slammed the metal table with his fist and shouted, “I dare you to dispute the facts!”
Kris got real uncomfortable real fast and Matt dropped the charade. He meant it to be funny but felt like shit when he saw his buddy fidget and rub his neck like he was trying to saw his head off. Dragging a chair next to his cohort, he sat and apologized.
“It’s … it’s okay Matt, it’s just ….”
“Oh. My. God. You love him.”
Kris nodded quickly.
“And he loves you”
A shy smile warmed his face and Kris nodded again.
“When … I mean, I don’t need details but … when did you two figure it out?”
“Years ago?” To his credit, Matt didn’t react with the surprise he felt. Instead, he placed a supportive hand on the other man’s shoulder. “Adam told me he’s had a crush on me since the Academy. Guess I was a late bloomer, ignorant, or in denial.”
“Duh, I think I had suspicions before you did.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it. Cowell should promote you.”
“Forget it, I like it better in the pit. So when did you put two and two together?”
“I guess it started during this last assignment. Thinking about Adam being touched by ….”
“’nough said about that.”
“Right. Well, that whole episode with him missing and then hurt and I finally admitted it to myself. It’s taken time … I didn’t want to rush things while he was recovering … but we finally … you know … and I’m an idiot for wasting all those years and I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to him, if he’ll let me.”
Matt gave Kris a hug.
“No worries there buddy, no worries there.”
~ ♥ ~
Adam was greeted by Director Cowell with a stiff handshake and lukewarm cup of coffee. Adam took a seat and pasted a smile on his face as his boss went on and on about how proud the Agency was with his work and how much of a valued team member his was. This was all just smoke and mirrors to hide the real reason he was here.
The moment Adam learned he was going to be saddled with a cane for the rest of his life he knew his days as an undercover agent were over. Oh sure, he could have still been an agent but not the kind of agent he wanted to be. Adam also knew he wouldn’t be fired, just reassigned. Odds were he’d get a paper-pushers job with a tiny window to tease him with the world outside. He’d rather Reggie had killed him than be trapped behind four walls.
Sure enough, once Cowell stopped praising him, reality struck. It wasn’t quite as bad as he thought. He was being offered an executive position but it still came with a desk and lots of paper. A big fat raise went along with it but Adam wasn’t into this job for the money.
“Agent Lambert, you have one week to let us know your decision.”
Adam stood and offered his hand, “I don’t need a week to decide Director. I can tell you my answer right now.”
~ ♥ ~
The waves crashed on the beach as Adam and Kris relaxed on the bench, licking their ice cream cones.
“I wish I could have seen his face when you resigned.”
“For a split second, I swear his façade cracked but he held it together.”
“So … what now?”
Adam reached over and took Kris’ hand as it rested on his lap.
“I’m not sure. I’ve got a pretty tidy sum coming to me in my pension and I don’t fancy it sitting around in the bank.”
“What about travel?”
“I’ve travelled already.”
“Yeah, but most of that was for work or rejuvenating to get back to work. I mean go someplace just to relax and forget about things.”
“I’d only do that if you were with me.”
“Point taken. I used up this year’s vacation time to help you recuperate.”
Adam leaned over and kissed a blob of pecan ice cream off the corner of his lover’s mouth.
“Have I told you how much I appreciate your tender loving care?”
Kris turned his head enough to make lip contact.
“Yes, and don’t stop. I don’t know how I’m going to handle work without you there. We’ve been partners forever.”
“We don’t have to stop being partners baby. You asked what I wanted to do with myself? Actually, I’ve had this thought for a few years now that I’d like to set up my own security consulting business. Sure, there’ll be some paperwork but I can hire an assistant to handle that so I get out in the field. I’d of course have others working for me but I could use a partner to help run the operation. Whataya say?”
Kris knew exactly what to say. He was happy with his job and had never given another line of work thought but with Adam leaving, would he still be happy? No. If he and Adam started their own agency, would he be happy? Spending 24/7 with his lover and best friend? Hell yeah!
“I say my name should go before yours on the business cards and letter head because alphabetically speaking it sounds better. However, if you agree to hire a lady assistant or a butt ugly man, I’ll relent and your name can top mine.”
“So you like being on bottom then?”
“Only if you’re on top.”
“I guess you’re unemployed then.”
“In two weeks, yeah.”
Adam turned back to his melting ice cream and look a long, slow lick up the cone. Kris’ pants suddenly got tight.
“Wonderful. It will give me time to find a location and get a license and plan the honeymoon.”
Kris had been thinking about the hardness between his legs and didn’t quite catch the last part.
“Back up there buddy. Did you say ‘honeymoon’?”
Adam took away Kris’ ice cream and dumped both cones into a trash can beside the bench. Turning, Adam then took Kris’ hands in his and smiled tenderly.
“I was trying to be clever and sneak that one in but you deserve better. Kris, I’ve loved you since forever and I want this partnership to be more than just business. After these last few months, I’ve come to realize how fleeting life can be. We nearly lost each other before we could love each other. I don’t want to waste another minute. Marry me.”
The proposal came out like a declaration, not a question but Kris didn’t care. There was no question what his answer would be.
“I don’t want Vegas, it’s too cheesy.”
“Reno?”
“Just as bad. Jamaica?”
“I burn too easily. How about ….”
Kris shut him up with a kiss.
It didn’t really matter where they went as long as they went together.