Harley/Joker fic
Title: Gimme some sugar, daddy.
Author: me
Fandom: Batman
Rating: PG-13 for implied dirtyness.
Word Count: 1,419
Note: How Harley and Mistah J do foreplay...no foolin. Thanks to my Clown Prince of Crime who helped me out with the Joker via IM. Lots of dialogue. Influenced by the writing of the_satyr_icon.
Gimme some sugar, daddy.
It was the crime of the century...well, the century so far. Ok, the century this week. The Joker and Harley stood on the loading dock, gloating at the apparent coup de' something.
"It's about time the Clown Prince of Crime came to this festering hole. Gives it a little style and panache. HAHAHA!!!"
"You know it, puddin'" she said, clinging to his arm.
"Now that's my gal. Give us a little sugar." he said as he leaned over and offered his cheek. He didn't have to ask her twice. Harley stood on tiptoe, bending her knee and balancing on one foot as she delivered a smacker with a wet ~mwah~. "Now, give it back, daddy." she said sweetly.
The Joker grinned wide and leaned in, but moved on past her and pulled a lever, dropping a pallet full of 5lb bags of sugar on a nearby worker, squashing him flat. His resounding laugh, HAHAHAHAHA!!, was backed by her sweet giggling.
"Say, didn't anyone warn him that too much sugar, can kill ya?"
"Yer tha sweetest puddin' evah" Harley said dreamily, moving closer and wrapping her arm around him.
"Hey thanks doll. Now, what do you do to show daddy how much you love him, hmmm?" he said, leering at her.
"You betcha." Harley replied, batting her eyes and moving closer. She gasped and her lips formed a perfect 'O', "Is that a gun in your pocket, Mistah J, or are you just happy ta see me?" she asked as she reached into his snappy trousers and pulled out his gun.
"'Ata gal. Now blow someone a kiss. Or? Blow a hole through their kisser. HAHAHAHAHA!" he howled with laughter as she scrunched up her shoulders and smiled madly under his praise. "And if you're a really bad girlie..." he purred in her ear, "Daddy'll have to spank you."
"You got it, daddy." she said, voice dropping an octive before she turned and shot a guy trying to dig the fella out of the sugar...but missed and took out his knee. "Ooopsie."
"Has it been too long since I let you handle my gun? You didn't even stroke it right..." he said derisively, tsking her shameful shooting. Harley bit her lip and sucked in a pout, blinking her big baby blues.
"Sorry, puddin'" she apologized.
"I see I'm gonna have to take you back to the room, and show you how to touch my gun. You misfired and everything." he continued, obviously irritated. Harley grinned wickedly as she ducked her chin and cleared her throat to do that breathy voice he liked.
"I don' think I'm evah gonna get it right, Mistah J. You're so sweet to keep teachin' me, though."
It had the desired effect and he looked down into her eyes, grinning like the maniac he was. "Sure ya will, doll. Otherwise..." he drew his finger across his throat, "I'll have to kill ya. HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!"
Harley shivered, that laugh cutting straight through her and making her think about all the dirty jokes he'd ever told her. "You really are the funniest guy evah." she whispered, letting the gun dangle.
"I know that. But who says I was telling a joke that time? HAHA!!"
She laughed with him and let the gun clatter to the ground so she could take his hand and put it on her throat. "Show me how funny it is, daddy." she said softly, offering her neck to him.
"Oh, now pooh, what's the fun in that. You have to beg for it, you naughty girl." he purred, "You know daddy likes to hear ya beg."
Harley screwed up her lips into a pout, "Don't be mean, puddin'. Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaase..." she screeched.
"You can do better than that." he replied seriously, tightening his hand just a little.
"P-p-please, Mistah J, stop foolin a roun'!" she gasped, not entirely certain if he was joking or not.
The Joker forced Harley to her knees and tightened his grip. "Who said I was fooling? Hmm??" he said icily.
Her voice gone, barely any air left at all, Harley's eyes widened with fear as she genuinely begged without sound.
"p-p-p-p-lease..."
"You've been killing with another man, haven't you?" he asked, tightening his grip.
"Nevah." she mouthed.
"Never? Really? You mean, I'm the only one?" he asked, his approval warming his tone ever so slightly.
Harley tried to nod, smileing as wide as she could as she turned darker red by the second.
"Really.....well then..." he grinned broadly, "That's awful sweet, doll."
She gagged again and tried to wiggle, raising her hands to claw at his wrist as she began to lose consciousness.
"What's that doll? You don't wanna die? Is that it?" he asked. She replied by closing her eyes and puckering her lips as she let go of his wrist and relaxed, waiting for the blackness. Just before it consumed her, he let go. "Well alright....I'll let ya live this time, but don't forget it." he said casually.
Harley coughed and sputtered and rubbed her throat. "Yer the best, puddin'." she said quietly.
"I am, aren't I. HAHAHAHAH!" he bellowed as he stepped back from her.
Promise I won't mess up again." she said coldly and picked up the gun. Holding her arm out straight she trained it right toward his heart, and didn't move until his eyebrows went up and he blinked. Then she swung it around and without even aiming, shot the man who was screaming and clutching his bleeding leg right in the old melon. She stood ther, pistol smoking in her hand as she watched the blood soak into the heap of sugar.
Impressed, the Joker sidled up behind her, pressing his other gun into her backside. "Say doll, that was really something just then. you almost convinced me you would do it."
"I might, Mistah J...you just watch, one day..." she began, then arched back into him and moaned softly. "one day...I..."
But he cut her off, purring in her ear and pulling her close to him. "Now that? That was hot doll. Say it again! HAHAHAHA!! You're getting me all worked up now, angel face. Heheheh..." his voice got deeper, thicker as he bent to run his lips along her neck. Harley grinned and rocked her bottom back against him, making him groan. "I'm of a mind to make some mookey. I should get you somewhere away from this whole dive scene. They can't even keep the floor from getting bloody. Ha!"
Harley nodded as she raised her arm to reach around and hold him close. "They really oughta get a doctor in here to help with their high blood sugar, hunh, Mistah J?" she offered.
"High blood sugar?" There was a beat as he raised his eyebrow, then he exploded with laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Harley sighed with relief. There was never any tellin' if he'd like her jokes or not.
"Hehehe..." he snickered, "Oh my....heheheheeh....I can't breathe.....hehehehe...High blood sugar. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Harley craned her head back, her throat screaming with pain. She ignored it and arched her eyebrow. "It wasn't that funny, puddin'. It was one-a mine."
The Joker wiped his eyes as the laughter subsided. "I know. Hehe. That's why I ain't killed ya yet. You still got a lot to learn."
Harley looked shocked for a moment, then grinned wide, "Awww...you DO like me!" she exclaimed, turning and throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace.
"Who said I didn't?" he asked, blinking and gawking at her with a confused look on his face.
Harley paused for a minute, looking at him like he might be insane. Might be. "Arkham, silly."
"You'd take the word over those mamsy pamsy bat worshipers?" he scoffed.
"Weeeeelll..." she whined, "They do that thing, and they've got those needles and stuff. They sound pretty convincing, Mistah J." she said, nodding in agreement with herself.
"Hmmmmmm..." he purred as he leaned in, almost kissing her.
"You like me? Really?" she asked softly, lost in the madness of his eyes.
"Of course i like you doll. Cuz most of the time, you actually get it." he said low and deep.
"You know I like it when the joke's on me, daddy." she replied, pulling herself close and grinding against his gun again. "Mmmm...lets get outta here, daddy. You owe me a spankin'."
His hands slid down her curves until he could slap her backside, hard enough to sting his own hand. "Lead on, sugar bumps." he said as she took his hand and began to skip away.
Author: me
Fandom: Batman
Rating: PG-13 for implied dirtyness.
Word Count: 1,419
Note: How Harley and Mistah J do foreplay...no foolin. Thanks to my Clown Prince of Crime who helped me out with the Joker via IM. Lots of dialogue. Influenced by the writing of the_satyr_icon.
Gimme some sugar, daddy.
It was the crime of the century...well, the century so far. Ok, the century this week. The Joker and Harley stood on the loading dock, gloating at the apparent coup de' something.
"It's about time the Clown Prince of Crime came to this festering hole. Gives it a little style and panache. HAHAHA!!!"
"You know it, puddin'" she said, clinging to his arm.
"Now that's my gal. Give us a little sugar." he said as he leaned over and offered his cheek. He didn't have to ask her twice. Harley stood on tiptoe, bending her knee and balancing on one foot as she delivered a smacker with a wet ~mwah~. "Now, give it back, daddy." she said sweetly.
The Joker grinned wide and leaned in, but moved on past her and pulled a lever, dropping a pallet full of 5lb bags of sugar on a nearby worker, squashing him flat. His resounding laugh, HAHAHAHAHA!!, was backed by her sweet giggling.
"Say, didn't anyone warn him that too much sugar, can kill ya?"
"Yer tha sweetest puddin' evah" Harley said dreamily, moving closer and wrapping her arm around him.
"Hey thanks doll. Now, what do you do to show daddy how much you love him, hmmm?" he said, leering at her.
"You betcha." Harley replied, batting her eyes and moving closer. She gasped and her lips formed a perfect 'O', "Is that a gun in your pocket, Mistah J, or are you just happy ta see me?" she asked as she reached into his snappy trousers and pulled out his gun.
"'Ata gal. Now blow someone a kiss. Or? Blow a hole through their kisser. HAHAHAHAHA!" he howled with laughter as she scrunched up her shoulders and smiled madly under his praise. "And if you're a really bad girlie..." he purred in her ear, "Daddy'll have to spank you."
"You got it, daddy." she said, voice dropping an octive before she turned and shot a guy trying to dig the fella out of the sugar...but missed and took out his knee. "Ooopsie."
"Has it been too long since I let you handle my gun? You didn't even stroke it right..." he said derisively, tsking her shameful shooting. Harley bit her lip and sucked in a pout, blinking her big baby blues.
"Sorry, puddin'" she apologized.
"I see I'm gonna have to take you back to the room, and show you how to touch my gun. You misfired and everything." he continued, obviously irritated. Harley grinned wickedly as she ducked her chin and cleared her throat to do that breathy voice he liked.
"I don' think I'm evah gonna get it right, Mistah J. You're so sweet to keep teachin' me, though."
It had the desired effect and he looked down into her eyes, grinning like the maniac he was. "Sure ya will, doll. Otherwise..." he drew his finger across his throat, "I'll have to kill ya. HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!"
Harley shivered, that laugh cutting straight through her and making her think about all the dirty jokes he'd ever told her. "You really are the funniest guy evah." she whispered, letting the gun dangle.
"I know that. But who says I was telling a joke that time? HAHA!!"
She laughed with him and let the gun clatter to the ground so she could take his hand and put it on her throat. "Show me how funny it is, daddy." she said softly, offering her neck to him.
"Oh, now pooh, what's the fun in that. You have to beg for it, you naughty girl." he purred, "You know daddy likes to hear ya beg."
Harley screwed up her lips into a pout, "Don't be mean, puddin'. Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaase..." she screeched.
"You can do better than that." he replied seriously, tightening his hand just a little.
"P-p-please, Mistah J, stop foolin a roun'!" she gasped, not entirely certain if he was joking or not.
The Joker forced Harley to her knees and tightened his grip. "Who said I was fooling? Hmm??" he said icily.
Her voice gone, barely any air left at all, Harley's eyes widened with fear as she genuinely begged without sound.
"p-p-p-p-lease..."
"You've been killing with another man, haven't you?" he asked, tightening his grip.
"Nevah." she mouthed.
"Never? Really? You mean, I'm the only one?" he asked, his approval warming his tone ever so slightly.
Harley tried to nod, smileing as wide as she could as she turned darker red by the second.
"Really.....well then..." he grinned broadly, "That's awful sweet, doll."
She gagged again and tried to wiggle, raising her hands to claw at his wrist as she began to lose consciousness.
"What's that doll? You don't wanna die? Is that it?" he asked. She replied by closing her eyes and puckering her lips as she let go of his wrist and relaxed, waiting for the blackness. Just before it consumed her, he let go. "Well alright....I'll let ya live this time, but don't forget it." he said casually.
Harley coughed and sputtered and rubbed her throat. "Yer the best, puddin'." she said quietly.
"I am, aren't I. HAHAHAHAH!" he bellowed as he stepped back from her.
Promise I won't mess up again." she said coldly and picked up the gun. Holding her arm out straight she trained it right toward his heart, and didn't move until his eyebrows went up and he blinked. Then she swung it around and without even aiming, shot the man who was screaming and clutching his bleeding leg right in the old melon. She stood ther, pistol smoking in her hand as she watched the blood soak into the heap of sugar.
Impressed, the Joker sidled up behind her, pressing his other gun into her backside. "Say doll, that was really something just then. you almost convinced me you would do it."
"I might, Mistah J...you just watch, one day..." she began, then arched back into him and moaned softly. "one day...I..."
But he cut her off, purring in her ear and pulling her close to him. "Now that? That was hot doll. Say it again! HAHAHAHA!! You're getting me all worked up now, angel face. Heheheh..." his voice got deeper, thicker as he bent to run his lips along her neck. Harley grinned and rocked her bottom back against him, making him groan. "I'm of a mind to make some mookey. I should get you somewhere away from this whole dive scene. They can't even keep the floor from getting bloody. Ha!"
Harley nodded as she raised her arm to reach around and hold him close. "They really oughta get a doctor in here to help with their high blood sugar, hunh, Mistah J?" she offered.
"High blood sugar?" There was a beat as he raised his eyebrow, then he exploded with laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Harley sighed with relief. There was never any tellin' if he'd like her jokes or not.
"Hehehe..." he snickered, "Oh my....heheheheeh....I can't breathe.....hehehehe...High blood sugar. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Harley craned her head back, her throat screaming with pain. She ignored it and arched her eyebrow. "It wasn't that funny, puddin'. It was one-a mine."
The Joker wiped his eyes as the laughter subsided. "I know. Hehe. That's why I ain't killed ya yet. You still got a lot to learn."
Harley looked shocked for a moment, then grinned wide, "Awww...you DO like me!" she exclaimed, turning and throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace.
"Who said I didn't?" he asked, blinking and gawking at her with a confused look on his face.
Harley paused for a minute, looking at him like he might be insane. Might be. "Arkham, silly."
"You'd take the word over those mamsy pamsy bat worshipers?" he scoffed.
"Weeeeelll..." she whined, "They do that thing, and they've got those needles and stuff. They sound pretty convincing, Mistah J." she said, nodding in agreement with herself.
"Hmmmmmm..." he purred as he leaned in, almost kissing her.
"You like me? Really?" she asked softly, lost in the madness of his eyes.
"Of course i like you doll. Cuz most of the time, you actually get it." he said low and deep.
"You know I like it when the joke's on me, daddy." she replied, pulling herself close and grinding against his gun again. "Mmmm...lets get outta here, daddy. You owe me a spankin'."
His hands slid down her curves until he could slap her backside, hard enough to sting his own hand. "Lead on, sugar bumps." he said as she took his hand and began to skip away.