Where did you come from?

[cupiscent]

I have this very vivid memory from my childhood, probably somewhere around the age of 10-12, or thereabouts, of my mother and I getting ready to go out. It was a Queensland summer day, so pretty damn sweltering, and Mum lamented that she was going to have to put on pantyhose in this.

"Why?" I asked. She paused, and the obvious answer was, Because

Comments

[dharma_slut]

We all of us regret the road not taken, believe me. Even while we know the road we did take is the better one for us.

We are forever trying to balance our individualism with out tribal needs. Some of us console our lack of sense of tribe by reveling in our individualism, or for others of us, the reverse is true.

[cupiscent]

That... is actually the most amazingly accurate way of putting it I have ever witnessed. And I think it's important - difficult, but important - for me to remember that defining self by tribe is just as valid as by individuality (...as long as one is still considerate and open-minded).

[incandescent]

Fascinating. I have a similar experience with my own mother - she's very outspoken and passionate, while I'm quiet and a bit calm. We're opposites, but also happy together. (Sometimes she drives me a bit spare, admittedly.) I think it comes from the fact that, consciously or not, we all try to distinguish ourselves from past generations. Your grandmother was probably regarded as abnormal for her time, but was also very happy like that. She cared about society, but maybe her normal was different than your normal. Who knows?

Social expectations come from some kind of reasoning, far in the past, but I don't think that they should ever limit us.

[cupiscent]

It's an interesting thing to look at. I think you're right, but I do wonder at the strength of the unconscious vibe, when I've never had a conscious moment of "I want to differ from my parents" but there are so many parts of me that I look at and go, "Where did that come from??"

Though maybe the most interesting element to draw from all of this is that what people will get from me in the future might be nothing like I think/am/was at their age. And probably will have nothing to do with what I try to give them.

[incandescent]

It really does make for a fascinating dynamic. Too bad that's so difficult to catch in writing. It's a goal, at least. :) You always challenge me.