App!
Character: Okita Souji
Series: Hakuouki Shinsengumi Kitan
Character Age: ~23
Job: Authentic Tragic Tuberculosis Patient End of Life Decisions Counselor
Canon: Hakuouki is a sort of male harem/historical fantasy story about the Shinsengumi, where "historical" is in heavy irony quotes. While the anime includes a number of historical details, accuracy still takes backseat to things like inserting oni and vampirism via mystical Western medicine into events, making sure there's plenty of opportunity for the show's female lead, Chizuru, to bond with the group, and giving everyone fabulous hair and fresh young faces. Priorities: we has them.
And the end result is fun--it has vampiric Shinsengumi with fabulous hair! How can that possibly be bad?
Hakuouki's Okita Souji does not, in fact, have the most fabulous hair. He makes up for this unfortunate deficit by being a total badass. He balances an apparently extroverted personality and friendly face with a violent streak and teasing sense of humor, and the end result is sort of like having an affectionate asshole brother who maybe isn't as extroverted as he seems. Despite the numerous death threats he directs at Chizuru, Okita is one of the first Shinsengumi members to reach out to her and encourage her socialization with the rest of the cast. He is very loyal to the Shinsengumi, particularly Commander Kondou, going to the point of staying with them against physician's advice and despite his worsening tuberculosis. The Shinsengumi's most powerful swordsman, it's not really accurate to say his bark is worse than his bite, but when he says he'll kill you, he probably doesn't mean it. Probably.
Sample Entry:
My, my, what's this here? "Authentic Tragic Tuberculosis Patient." Isn't it a little early to be calling someone tragic when he's still alive? I hate to disappoint a cute woman, but you can tell your Director than I'm going to have to decline her offer, corpse-san. It would be a pain if she spread that idea about me around too much. Being weak for fussing over and making people sad, that's not the kind of thing I'm any good for.
It's not really even a job at all when you think about it that way, you know. More like being a victim. I might have to kill someone who gave me a job like that.
What could I do, hmm? Asking me that is a bit like expecting me to take care of your responsibilities for you. I'm not sure if I should... but, I don't work for just anyone. If she had a dojo, I suppose I could stop in and give the Director's students a few lessons. She doesn't mind if I put a few holes in the ones who are too slow or troublesome, right? That's how they learn. It's called "natural consequences." Or something like that. Judging from you though, the Director's already got herself someone doing that job--slow learner, corpse-san?
Or I have a little experience acting the part of a poetry critic, now that I think about it. But I might be too soft on anything you'd have for me. I'm used to reading only the very worst haiku--if it doesn't make children cry and women faint, I wouldn't know what to do with it... Oh, it does? Marcy-chan must be quite the poet, and it does sound like she does have an interesting vocabulary. I didn't even know "gobbit" was a word, let alone that one could throb.
However, I was kidding. Making fun of poetry is more of a hobby than anything else.
Now don't give me that look. Whose fault is it that you can't tell a joke when you hear one?
So now that we've had this little talk, how about letting me be on my way? Oh, now your Director thinks she has something better suited to my situation, does she? Wonderful. As long as she doesn't get angry when I slack off... "End of Life Decisions Counseling...?" Heh. If your Director keeps being so fresh with me, I really may have to kill her.